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Difference between a good friend and a true friend

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 12:00 pm
by Rebeccaatthewell
A Good friend will bail you out of jail,
but a True Friend will be sitting on the seat beside you
saying, "Damn, that was fun."


The difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale
A northern fairy tale begins with... "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairy tale begins with... "Yall ant gonna believe this... "

Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:05 pm
by Kal
A friend will help you move

A real friend will help you move the bodies...

Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:02 pm
by BuzZz
A REAL friend will create the body, dispose of it, then tell you "Problem Solved". No fuss, no muss, no trail of evidence leading back to you..... :twisted:

Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:09 pm
by dr_bar
Football FINALLY makes sense.......... A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:11 pm
by dr_bar
SHORTEST FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl. "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!"

And the guy lived happily ever after. And went fishing, hunting, played golf a lot, rode his motorcycle, and drank beer and farted, whenever he wanted.

THE END

Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:24 pm
by dr_bar
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, "What is the criterion that defines a
patient to be institutionalized?" "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a Teaspoon,
a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to Empty the bathtub."

1. Would you use the spoon?

2. Would you use the teacup?

3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person
would choose the bucket as it is larger than
the spoon or the teacup."

"Noooooo," answered the Director.
A normal person would pull the plug."


The above jokes stolen from another site I frequent... no apologies intended or implied... :mrgreen: :roll:

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:33 am
by Mintbread
Q. What's long and hard on a Harley rider?

A. The third grade.

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 4:34 am
by sapaul
A true friend will rush home and make lots of noise, get noticed and therefore create an alibi for you.

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 4:35 am
by bennettoid
OK- why are you goofs posting these in this thread?

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 10:23 am
by Rebeccaatthewell
Well I think that they are a riot!!
Becca :D