Wife's friends and their efforts to sabotage your...

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OldBlock · #1 Unread post by **OldBlock** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:05 am

Well, I turned 40 last year and decided that I would get my license and purchase a bike. I road, mostly dirt bikes, from when I was 5 until about 22-23 years of age. In September I took the MSF course, and my desire to ride again is even stronger. As spring is coming, I have cleared the financial issues, and I am preparing to purchase my bike. Now all of my wife's friends have starting telling her stories about so and so being killed on a motorcycle. Now of course I am getting the concerned look, and the "you have children you know" comments. So does anyone have a good response to these comments? So far I have come up with "Hey, people are killed everyday in cars also..."

Nalian · #2 Unread post by **Nalian** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:08 am

Who do you want these responses for - the wife or her friends? Because that will change the tone of suggestions a lot.

#3 Unread post by **Sev** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:11 am

Start telling stories about all the people you've heard of that died in:
Car accidents
Plane accidents
Train
Falling down the stairs
Slipping getting out of the bathtub
Bee stings
Paper cuts
Stabbings
Shootings

I think you see where I'm going with this. Don't let what could happen stop you from enjoying what should happen. Just take the appropriate precautions and enjoy yourself.

OldBlock · #4 Unread post by **OldBlock** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:21 am

Good start everyone! I looking for the wife!

Nalian · #5 Unread post by **Nalian** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:30 am

Honestly then, for the wife I wouldn't look for responses along those lines - just reassurances that you're doing everything you can to be safe. For example, by taking the safety course you've reduced your risk statistically. By doing AGATT (all gear all the time) you're reducing risk factors for serious injury, etc.

Bringing up risks in other activities will make your point but I wouldn't use that as your main defense, just reiterate that you're being safe. If her friends keep hassling her, tell her to ask her friends if they'd talk about plane crashes before you were about to fly, and that they're basically being cruel by saying stuff like that repeatedly. Sure, motorcycling is risky but it's not russian roulette like they're making it out to be.

Fathertork · Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:31 am

I assume none of her friends ride or have husbands that ride, so she is getting opinions, not facts.

I would point out that you have taken the coarse and do have some skills, rusty as they may be. If you have any groups in your area that meet for rides, it may be worth attending and speaking to some of these wifes and get thier opinions.

All I can tell you is the wife enjoyes riding on the back of our bike and we enjoy travelling on it. We have a few trips planned and have had the enjoyment of planning them over the winter months.

P.S. Most of our friends ride as well....oops....maybe her fiends are worried they will all have to go bike shopping as well after they see the ear to ear smiles on both your faces.

Good Luck

KingRobb · #7 Unread post by **KingRobb** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:10 am

Fathertork wrote: P.S. Most of our friends ride as well....oops....maybe her fiends are worried they will all have to go bike shopping as well after they see the ear to ear smiles on both your faces.

Good Luck

logitech104 · Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:14 am

Show her some moto gp races of people wrecking and sliding at 100+mph, and getting right back up. Then tell her "Honey, I'm going to wear the same gear he is".

OldBlock · #9 Unread post by **OldBlock** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:10 am

Sometimes you get caught off guard and your not sure what to say. I totally agree that the old hit bus theory could come around at any time. I am in Pittsburgh and since Roethlisberger (sp?) bit the dust last year, anytime someone brings up a bike they go crazy....

Flipper · #10 Unread post by **Flipper** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:17 am

I'm a female rider of 6 months. I'm also married to a nonriding husband.

If you want this to shake out in your favor DON'T get into a debate about various and sundry forms of death.

Your best bet is to VALIDATE her concerns about your safety.
Don't act invincible. Let her know you have a healthy FEAR about riding.

(Really, this does not make women view you as a wimp, it calms our own
fears and let's us know you are not being flip about the dangers involved.)

Ask her advice on choosing a bike, safety gear etc.
(yes, even if she doesn't know anything about it)
Let her know you want her help.
Make her a part of the process.

Don't start talking about how she can ride on the back.
She probably doesn't want to and it will only ramp up her fear. Wait on that, it will come later.

Good luck

Flipper