Rider's confidence lost. How do you get it back?

[kody]

Need insights and suggestions please. A relatively new rider asked me for advice. He's an MSF "grad" and he rode the Honda Nighthawk 250 very well. Passed and tells me he didn't lose any points on the figure eight. Anyway, he bought a medium bike, a Suzuki 650. He loves to ride it and was practicing up and down his street. Unfortunately, he dropped it. No damage to person or bike other than minor scratches on the bike. He tells me that he is very cautious now and doesn't trust himself to go onto roads with any significant traffic. There's no way around some traffic around here. I've encouraged him to review what he did in the MSF and gave (loaned) him my copy of Proficient Motorcycling. I also loaned him my "Ride Like a Pro" DVD. I've told him that riding is 80% mental and 20% physical. Well, his mental is definitely affecting his riding because he won't go anywhere. I even told him about the book "Feel the Fear and Do it anyway."

So, here is where YOUR expertise and thoughts come in. What advice would you give him? Can you help this budding rider?

[jstark47]

Need a little more info - how did he drop it? Was he stopped and lost his footing, or the bike just went over too far? Very common for noobs, not a big deal, unless the bike's too big to pick up. Or did he low side? Did he panic and over-brake and wipe out?

Different answers depending on what happened. If he just dropped it while stopped - well, that happens to everyone. Unless of course the bike is too tall for him, in which case a smaller, lighter bike might be in order. If he low sided, or wiped out, more training might be in order. Is he afraid for himself (getting hurt), or for the bike, or for both?

[kody]

Started to turn into his driveway (I think he hit the front brake). Very slow speed. Nothing else known.

[pchast]

Loose stone drive? I'm told experienced riders would have trouble....

[Johnj]

He wants to ride...or he doesn't.

[csspostal]

ride and ride and ride some more. They'll have nerves first few times out do small routes then keep expanding them slowly. The more you're on the bike the quicker your nerve comes back.

I set a goal for one week I'd ride at least 100km a day. In that week I ended up with about 1200 km put on the bike.

But like JohnJ said you either want to do it or don't. A car turned left in front of me first day I got my bike I went over the bars and slid down the road. Bit of road rash and a whole slew of soft tissue damage. However there was no doubt I wanted back on the bike. My body kept me off it longer then I wanted to be but figured doubling over in pain when you laughed or sneezed, coughed etc best not to be riding.

Setting small goals each day and then week worked for me perhaps for your friend too.

[HYPERR]

He wants to ride...or he doesn't.

+1

Not to sound mean, rude, or cruel but John pretty much hit the nail right on the head. In the US, riding a motorcyle is pretty much a hobby. It is supposed to be enjoyable and something you really want to do. It's not supposed to be something you have to force it on yourself. It's a hobby. Either you like it or you don't. There are tons of other hobbies one can take up. Life is too short to be stuck with a hobby that one doesn't enjoy or question its merit.

That being said, I love motorcycling and knew it the moment I first rode a bike when I was a kid.

[Flesher]

Yeah gotta agree with Johnj and HYPERR. Obviously I don't know anything about this rider so take what I say accordingly, but is it at all possible that he didn't lose his nerve as a result of dropping his bike, but rather he dropped the bike because he realized riding in a parking lot and riding on the "streets" are two different things from a confidence and nerve point of view. and that gave him an out?

Let him know it's entirely normal to start out slow, and scared or worse, I would just gently encourage more parking lot practice and then gradually expand street riding. But if he doesn't have it in him, best not to push, you don't want to put him and others in danger.

[kody]

Thanks for your insights. I think he really does want to ride. I'll pass along your comments.

[Superfly3176]

He wants to ride...or he doesn't.

Not necessarily this simple. I was in a wreck back in march and my bike went sliding, and me a long with it. For quite some time I didn't feel comfortable taking left turns/leans (the side I slid on). The only thing you can do is keep forcing yourself to get on.

Why would you want to quit a hobby you love because something bad happened? It's not necessarily a not wanting to, but a lack of confidence.


@OP it just takes time.