Actually, around here, I no longer have problems. When I was a beginner with no bike it was different. But now...it's quite good here on the west coast. In the last few years there have been a lot of dealers who have had ladies tech night as well as women working in the showroom and accessories departments. The annual bike show has a special ladies night.
More and more of the dealers have a decent selection of gear for us.
A lot of the dealers have started to recognize that more women are buying bikes and even have options for shorter women. That's the HD dealers here.
Sometimes I go browsing and the sales guys are very helpful.
I think you need a different person than me.