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My ex got me into bikes and now I'm lost?

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 1:18 am
by cburns38
Hello all,

I'm new here and in fact, I made my account on impulse because I am feeling extremely lost right now. My ex-boyfriend of two years was the one who first got me interested in motorcycles and taught me how to ride, and the bike I rode while we were together was one I fixed up with him, a Honda Nighthawk cb250. We broke up a little over a month ago and I gave the bike back to him because it didn't feel right to keep it, so now I'm totally on my own. I don't have any female motorcyclist friends who live in my area (Northeast Kansas), and now I don't have a bike. None of my family rides and they're concerned for my safety (even if they don't say it), so even though they tell me they're supportive, I can't really go to them to talk about motorcycles as much.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone here has had similar issues and how they found their way forward? Almost every day, I look at the motorcycles for sale on Facebook Marketplace and then I wonder if I'm out of my depth. I love riding, but I lack a lot of knowledge about motorcycles and I feel like all of my confidence is gone now that the guy who got me into it in the first place is out of the picture. I definitely don't want to feel like he was the only thing that allowed me to do it, but it's hard to get back in the saddle without any support. Any thoughts or advice?

Thank you all, I'm so happy I found this place!


Re: My ex got me into bikes and now I'm lost?

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2018 10:33 pm
by Rubiadiabla
Hiya Chloe, my apologies that it has taken days to get a reply to you. A first rule of thumb in dating motorcycle enthusiasts is that you have to have at least one to call an ex, so you're starting out just like the rest of us ;) Don't look back, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Every rider, (men or woman) has a purpose for why they ride, whether it's letting your hair down and getting some wind therapy to getting alone with only your thoughts in your helmet, to fulfill a need for speed a cage just can't provide or some friendly competition on two wheels with friends... I feel like whatever your reason be, it's more than just an ex's hobby. If you're perusing marketplace your subconscious is looking to fulfill a need from within. My advice?? Indulge, get a bike that reminds you of the nostalgia you're looking for, or get something completely different than the nighthawk, go with your gut. Stay within the cc range you are used to so you don't get into any power you can't handle but pick you a bike that's a bit newer and shinier than the old Nighthawk just because you can. If you ever happen to run into your ex at a stop light on main street on a Saturday night, your bike has gotta look better. ;) I'm awful I know. Get on facebook and look for a couple different local riding groups, join and follow the local community and get to know the different types of active groups and see which one is for you. There's bound to be a group of gals who would love to take some rides with you and teach you what they've learned along the way. Caution, there's never a shortage of male volunteers to ride with a new lady rider so be up front when you are soliciting riding buddies/group rides to participate. Let them know you're not looking for a date, you want local safe responsible riding companions, no shenanigans and only ride in small groups until you get to know everyone. I'd also recommend signing up for a local learn to ride course, whether you would be more comfortable in the beginner/advanced class you are bound to meet other riders at your same skill level. Older couples are a good choice of people to take rides with because they are more laid back and responsible. Good luck and please stay in touch, we wanna see pics of your new ride and keep us updated on your progress.

Re: My ex got me into bikes and now I'm lost?

Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2018 7:58 pm
by Kal
Rubiadiabla is right on the money, especially about getting some classes if your confidence is not all there. I did some extra when I had a loss of confidence some years ago. Made a huge difference to my riding.

The one thing I will add to the above is you don't need anyones permission but your own. Welcome Chloe.

Re: My ex got me into bikes and now I'm lost?

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 6:48 pm
by Rubiadiabla
Right on Kal, that's excellent advice :)