Need a woman's advice....

[Bachstrad37]

Hi there. I'm not a woman, but I have a story that you might find relevant.

Back when I was 8, I had an uncle. He was my mother's younger brother. Big time old school Harley guy. Pretty reckless with how he lived his life. Had two kids and was 38.

On a rainy day, he drank and rode his motorcycle home. On his way home, his bike slid from under him and he crashed on a rural road. He and his bike landed in a deep ravine. Passed out shortly after the crash and no one noticed he was in the ditch until a couple hours later. He went into a coma, but awoke 3 months later. He woke up and lost 95% of his total memory. He couldn't recognize anyone. Spoke and had the grammar level of a 6 year old. He family broke apart, but my mother continued to care for him by taking him our home.

Fast forward 25 years, he continues not being able to walk without a walker. Still has a brain of a 6 year old. Has lost his farm, family, and any type of future of being independent. He has to be fed by another person and has to wear adult diapers while sleeping.

A couple of weeks ago, I approached my mother about wanting a motorcycle. I told her "I have news and you may not like what I'm about to tell you. I am buying a motorcycle." She gasped and almost broke out crying. My uncle was beside her the moment I told her of my wishes.

I quickly intervened and said "Here's my plan. I have already scheduled and paid for a motorcyle safety class. I passed my written exam and currently have my permit. I know that getting a motorcycle is rather easy. Liscensing is even easier, Mom, but I've taken it on my own to minimize the risk. I've already purchased a helmet, gloves, jacket, pants, etc. I've signed up for the safety course. And I'll be getting a bike that will be easy to learn on. You've raised me to be a good decision maker. I think I'm very responsible in everything I do. You've raised me that way. I'm so thankful for your guidance."

She smiled and nodded. "You're right. You're a great adult and more responsible than I ever could have been. Promise me you'll wear your helmet, don't drink and ride, and avoid riding in bad weather...OK?" I said "You have my word on that."

[Nalian]

I'm 27 and have been out of my mom's house since I was 19. She would hate it if she knew I was taking a course and planning on buying a bike soon - so I haven't told her. If she visits when I have it she'll know obviously, but until that happens she won't. I know she'll be upset and I don't want to worry her needlessly. Besides, she's already going to be mad when she sees the new tattoos I got anyway.

My dad is a motorcycle nut, though, and I told him. He actually agreed with me that I shouldn't tell her, but wished me luck and imparted lots of advice.

[cbm]

I'm 38 and still have not gotten up the nerve to tell my Mom I have a motorcycle!! I'm just waiting for the day when my 3-year-old spills the beans about "Mommy's motorcycle"...

[motogirl]

Your mother deserves a big pat on the back for having raised such a considerate daughter. I think it's great that you are taking her feelings into account, and looking ahead at how your actions might affect someone you care about. Great job.

That being said, I'm a married, 34 year old woman who has been entirely financially independant since I was 17 and began paying my way through 8 years of a university education. I hang glide, and my parents accept that. But I can't bear to tell them about my motorcycle. I know it will worry them sick, and I don't see the point. Of course, I live 6 hours away from them, so no concerns about them spotting me on it! But my point here is that no matter how old you are, how responsible you've been, and how much your parents respect your decision-making ability, you will always be their child. Kudos for you for caring about how she will feel.

Good luck to you, and ride safely,

~Janet

[girl600dotcom]

Have her take the class with you. Once she learns to ride safely she could change her mind. Show her some women motorcyclists (I have a gallery), get her hyped up and inspired and you both take the class together. She doesn't have to buy a bike after taking the class, its just to let her see that they can be safely operated.

[doctorbabe]

I'm 38 and still have not gotten up the nerve to tell my Mom I have a motorcycle!! I'm just waiting for the day when my 3-year-old spills the beans about "Mommy's motorcycle"...

Oh thank goodness. I'm so glad I'm not the only one. My parents know I have an interest in motorcycles, and I think they know I have a license. What they don't know is that I finally got my first bike a few weeks ago. I feel like I should tell them, since I generally don't believe that 'withholding the truth' is a good thing. On the other hand, they'd both worry themselves silly. So for now my lips will remain zipped. It's nice to know I've got company.