That might help but if she's got it in her mind that bikes are dangerous, because her brother died...that's a hard fact to get over.
Do you have kids? Are you planning to? In her mind bikes might be toys, dangerous toys that people die on. Its not like you've ridden your whole life and this is who you are, you want to get into it for the first time.
I disagree with the whole 'you are your own person'...you are married so you have to consider her feelings. Compromise. Maybe you can get a scooter.
If my wife was sitting at home biting her nails whenever I went out for a ride, I couldn't do it.
Wife says no to bike.
I gotta back Zoo up on his you are your person even in marriage thoughts, but that doesnt work for everyone. i agree with it and luckily my girlfriend does too, but sadly not enough people do. ifyou wanna keep her dont force the bike on her. my girl was against it for long time, so i bought one anyway, knowing she wasnt going to leave me i knew that if i got it i could get her feelings to change. it also helps that our finances are separate and i get to waste my money how i like. so my advice is:
1) push the subject enlough to make her get the idea
2) dont make her leave you
3) understand that while you are married, you are allowed your own hobbies and such
4) stress the ways you can be safe.
5) take the MSF, itll calm her down
6) think about the future, if kids are going to happen soon then consider how important riding is to you. i have already set up life insurance in case i happen to die. (im 19)
7) get a less powerful bike, get one that she wont be afraid of.
dont wreck, it will scare her away forever
9) once you are on the road, no tickets that will scare her too. (i was in the doghouse for awhile after my first)
10) get all the gear, make the helmet DOT and Snell approved then stress that to her
11) get a one piece, explain how difficult it is to get out of it and she will think its safe.
12) have her follow you to see just how safely you ride.
13) dont let her ride with you in traffic at first. (i took my girl out for her first ride in the city and as we approached a light this guy tried to whip in front of me, then slam the brakes to keep from going through the light. this scared her and she didnt come close for about two months. it was a very narrow miss and it was within the first minute on the bike.)
14) get something that doesnt look fast, it can be just as long as looking at it doesnt intimidate her.
15) take your time, you have the rest ofyour life to spend with her and the bike they will learn not to hate eachother, but it might be awhile.
16) GOOD LUCK!!!
1) push the subject enlough to make her get the idea
2) dont make her leave you
3) understand that while you are married, you are allowed your own hobbies and such
4) stress the ways you can be safe.
5) take the MSF, itll calm her down
6) think about the future, if kids are going to happen soon then consider how important riding is to you. i have already set up life insurance in case i happen to die. (im 19)
7) get a less powerful bike, get one that she wont be afraid of.
dont wreck, it will scare her away forever9) once you are on the road, no tickets that will scare her too. (i was in the doghouse for awhile after my first)
10) get all the gear, make the helmet DOT and Snell approved then stress that to her
11) get a one piece, explain how difficult it is to get out of it and she will think its safe.
12) have her follow you to see just how safely you ride.
13) dont let her ride with you in traffic at first. (i took my girl out for her first ride in the city and as we approached a light this guy tried to whip in front of me, then slam the brakes to keep from going through the light. this scared her and she didnt come close for about two months. it was a very narrow miss and it was within the first minute on the bike.)
14) get something that doesnt look fast, it can be just as long as looking at it doesnt intimidate her.
15) take your time, you have the rest ofyour life to spend with her and the bike they will learn not to hate eachother, but it might be awhile.
16) GOOD LUCK!!!
"Life's like an hourglass glued to a table"
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Z (fka Sweet Tooth)
- Site Supporter - Gold
- Posts: 909
- Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:41 am
- Sex: Male
- Location: Florida (Miami)
With all due respect to your wife, im sorry she lost her borther. I can see why she worries, but if he died in a car accident would she prohibit you from driving a car? I don't know that there is anything that you can do. I also had major safety concerns, and changed my mind after I saw him wearing gear and taking the MSF class. Do gear and instructions save you from death? no nothing does but it's a precaution. I since then took the class as well and have my own bike. I'm not sure what to tell you, but I can tell you that with the correct information she MIGHT change her mind. She needs to be reasonable... good luck... 
Your wife has valid concerns, even if they don't necessarily apply to you. While in theory, I agree that a spouse shouldn't stand in the way of doing something you love in most cases, there are exceptions.
She's already lost someone she loved in an accident. She's seen the inpact it's had on family and friends, and I bet she would never wish it on anyone, much less want to take any chance to repeat it. It doesn't sound to me like a control issue, but one that has her facing losing someone else she loves.
While I feel very sorry for the situation you're in, I hope you take things slow with her, and realize that it may be something she can never get over. Work on taking the MSF course and see if she'll join you, even as an observer. Tell her that's all you want for now. Then you can revisit the bike issue.
Good luck
She's already lost someone she loved in an accident. She's seen the inpact it's had on family and friends, and I bet she would never wish it on anyone, much less want to take any chance to repeat it. It doesn't sound to me like a control issue, but one that has her facing losing someone else she loves.
While I feel very sorry for the situation you're in, I hope you take things slow with her, and realize that it may be something she can never get over. Work on taking the MSF course and see if she'll join you, even as an observer. Tell her that's all you want for now. Then you can revisit the bike issue.
Good luck
01 Vulcan 750
05 Rebel
05 Rebel
Re: Wife says no to bike.
Is it possible to have your wife join you on the MSF course? She might be more likely to "let" you ride if she knows how to herself.jonbailey19808 wrote:What do you tell your wifes/gf's about safety?
But it's going to be tough. I understand her fear for your safety.
I'm lucky - my wife bought me a bike and then bough herself a Suzuki GS500F.
Shawn King
Your Bike Life
http://www.yourbikelife.com
2008 Yamaha FJR 1300A
Your Bike Life
http://www.yourbikelife.com
2008 Yamaha FJR 1300A
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dr_bar
- Site Supporter - Diamond
- Posts: 4531
- Joined: Mon May 23, 2005 4:37 am
- Real Name: Doug
- Sex: Male
- Years Riding: 44
- My Motorcycle: 2007 Yamaha Royal Star Venture
- Location: Surrey BC, Canada
+1rnr262 wrote:Your wife has valid concerns, even if they don't necessarily apply to you. While in theory, I agree that a spouse shouldn't stand in the way of doing something you love in most cases, there are exceptions.
She's already lost someone she loved in an accident. She's seen the inpact it's had on family and friends, and I bet she would never wish it on anyone, much less want to take any chance to repeat it. It doesn't sound to me like a control issue, but one that has her facing losing someone else she loves.
While I feel very sorry for the situation you're in, I hope you take things slow with her, and realize that it may be something she can never get over. Work on taking the MSF course and see if she'll join you, even as an observer. Tell her that's all you want for now. Then you can revisit the bike issue.
Good luck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Four wheels move the body.
Two wheels move the soul!"
"Four wheels move the body.
Two wheels move the soul!"
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Bachstrad37
- Legendary 300
- Posts: 427
- Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:40 am
- Sex: Male
- Location: Duluth, MN
Every motorcycle tragedy I personally know related to lack of gear. I agree with others here that gear is one of your main focus. Second is alcohol. You'll find it statiscally consistent that one or both of those items play a key role in how badly motorcyclists fare.
I had the same issue in dealing with my mother. Her brother (my uncle) crashed his chopper and now have a brain of a 5 year old. He's now in his 50s and loss 99% of his mobility and 99% of his rationale/speech. He was drinking, T-shirt, shorts, sneakers, speeding, and driving in the rain. The bike slipped from under him and he slid into a 20 foot ravine only to be discover by a passing car hours later.
You don't want to be THAT guy, my uncle. Instead of your wife, I had to deal with my mother although it was my decision whether I'd ride a motorcycle or not. It's your decision to make as well. But you do have to be considerate to her needs. Take it slow and be SURE to address every safety aspect short of not riding with her. Patience is your personal challenge. Persevere it while addressing the safety precaution of MSF, gear, alcohol, and riding condition WITH her. She may snicker at first, but be persistent. It's very important to your marriage that you keep her informed and have her blessing.
I had the same issue in dealing with my mother. Her brother (my uncle) crashed his chopper and now have a brain of a 5 year old. He's now in his 50s and loss 99% of his mobility and 99% of his rationale/speech. He was drinking, T-shirt, shorts, sneakers, speeding, and driving in the rain. The bike slipped from under him and he slid into a 20 foot ravine only to be discover by a passing car hours later.
You don't want to be THAT guy, my uncle. Instead of your wife, I had to deal with my mother although it was my decision whether I'd ride a motorcycle or not. It's your decision to make as well. But you do have to be considerate to her needs. Take it slow and be SURE to address every safety aspect short of not riding with her. Patience is your personal challenge. Persevere it while addressing the safety precaution of MSF, gear, alcohol, and riding condition WITH her. She may snicker at first, but be persistent. It's very important to your marriage that you keep her informed and have her blessing.
2003 VN1500P Kawasaki Mean Streak
2009 Yamaha Nytro FX
2009 Yamaha Nytro FX
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JonBaileysWife
- Rookie
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Mon Jun 12, 2006 10:44 am
OK, Jon's WIFE'S turn LOL!
Thanks to MOST of you who considerd my feelings. Yes, my brother died, after 5 escrutiating days, as a result of a brain bleed from not wearing his helmet. That was 21 years ago.
I read most of the posts through and here's the deal....
1. I am NOT anti-motor cycle and I do NOT control my husband (at least I don't let him know i do Hahahaha!).
2. WE BOTH bought BRAND NEW Yamaha 50cc mopeds 6 weeks ago! Already, he wants to trade up to a motorcycle!
3. I'm not even against JON having a motorcycle, but since we've decided to open up our marriage on this forum, he will admit to being obsessive about something, getting it, then wanting something better almost immediately. I JUST want to make sure that this HUGE purchase will be "enough" for him for a while.
4. We live in a small town, so if he wears the proper gear, yadda yadda, all should be fine and good...heck, I'd like to ride on the back!
5. HE HAS TO BE THE ONE TO EXPLAIN THE MOTORCYCLE TO MY MOTHER!!!!! I take ALL the flack from her when we make a decision she doesn't approve of and he doesn't get involved.
SO, in closing, MY TERMS ARE: Get the bike if it will make you happy for the long term AND you are willing to face your mother-in-law with that decision!
Oh, and for the "you are your own person" people...you're obviously NOT married and if you are, don't get too comfortable, cuz you won't be for long. Marriage is about making decision together for the mutual good of the entire family.
Peace
Thanks to MOST of you who considerd my feelings. Yes, my brother died, after 5 escrutiating days, as a result of a brain bleed from not wearing his helmet. That was 21 years ago.
I read most of the posts through and here's the deal....
1. I am NOT anti-motor cycle and I do NOT control my husband (at least I don't let him know i do Hahahaha!).
2. WE BOTH bought BRAND NEW Yamaha 50cc mopeds 6 weeks ago! Already, he wants to trade up to a motorcycle!
3. I'm not even against JON having a motorcycle, but since we've decided to open up our marriage on this forum, he will admit to being obsessive about something, getting it, then wanting something better almost immediately. I JUST want to make sure that this HUGE purchase will be "enough" for him for a while.
4. We live in a small town, so if he wears the proper gear, yadda yadda, all should be fine and good...heck, I'd like to ride on the back!
5. HE HAS TO BE THE ONE TO EXPLAIN THE MOTORCYCLE TO MY MOTHER!!!!! I take ALL the flack from her when we make a decision she doesn't approve of and he doesn't get involved.
SO, in closing, MY TERMS ARE: Get the bike if it will make you happy for the long term AND you are willing to face your mother-in-law with that decision!
Oh, and for the "you are your own person" people...you're obviously NOT married and if you are, don't get too comfortable, cuz you won't be for long. Marriage is about making decision together for the mutual good of the entire family.
Peace