Convincing MY father

[jddb87]

I would be nothing other then honest with him. I think i can warm him up to the subject at hand. We watch motorcycle racing all day. I mean i have a dirtbike, and i also woned fourwheelers (honda 400ex) and he knows im a very good driver on them. never wrecked ONCE on them and i use to race the ex. Watching speed channel with him all the time. i couldn't get a motorcycle behind his back, i would feel guilty. I guess i just need to talk to him slowly and work up a toleance, because before he would just yell at me at the idea, but im working on it. Also, by the chance of god he approves, what bike shold i get? im not too rich but not that poor, right in the middle. I was thinking about a buell firebolt.. i mean i know its 900 cc but it has only 92 HP twin cylender. 65 MPG (which would be great from college and back). Tell me what you guys think. Thanks a lot for all your support. I dont know if anyone has been in my situation, but the anticipation or the rejection is kinda exciting!


-joe

[torxim]

i'd just wait it out... when i was living w/ my parents / they were putting me through college my dad had the same opinion. i'm on my own now and just signed up for my MSF course and am looking for a gs500.



other thing, 'just' 95HP is pretty damn powerful for a first motorcycle

[NorthernPete]

My buddy bought his first bike and parked it at his best friends house for six months before he decided to tell his parents....thats always an option...not the most favored option...but an option nonetheless.

I did that....

[black mariah]

other thing, 'just' 95HP is pretty damn powerful for a first motorcycle

Notice where he mentions that he rides dirtbikes and has raced four wheelers before. It's apparently his first street bike. The prior experience makes quite a difference.

[bok]

he has prior riding exp. but 95 horse is still pretty powerful for a first street bike. when you have to start factoring in cages, dogs/cats/children, dirt/gravel, oil, stop signs and all the other stuff on city streets.

not saying he can't handle one, just saying it's not wimpy no matter what experience you have prior to that....

now as to the convincing Dad question...maybe bring up the subject of getting a track bike, and taking some motorcycle training to lead you to race riding. this is something he is interested in and has done...maybe even tell him that you have no intention of street riding (small lie) but when he sees you race he might accept that you are a decent rider and give in a little.

[Loonette]

Your situation has a lot of issues going on, doesn't it? It's always difficult to find a good balance when family or loved ones don't want you to do something about which you are passionate. Here's my take...

Parents are strange creatures. I know because I became one about 11 years ago. We want so badly for our kids to have a safe, happy existence, but the fact is... in order to be well-rounded humans, we need to have our own lives - our own experiences, our own mistakes, our own pains. I would never consider telling my kids, when they are adults, that they cannot do something of their own choosing. However, I will be able to tell them what things I will not tolerate in my presence. Or the things that I will not support for them.

Now your situation has a few twists. I would say out of respect for your father's feelings, you should wait until you are out of the house. Also, if your folks are supporting your education and supporting you with a roof over your head, then in a way they are paying for a bike too. By you having a financial cushion in other areas, you are able to buy a bike. Hmmm, that's not too cool. You really are young enough to wait a bit - I waited until I was 36 to start riding - believe me, you can wait a bit longer. If an adult wants to make adult choices that go against the wishes of their support system, then they should be 100% on their own first.

So let's say you decide, this Loonette lady is crazy, and you buy a bike now. I would at least keep it away from your father and don't talk about it. And I don't mean that you should lie about it either!! That's worse. But don't try to get your dad interested if he's so vehemently against riding. I know about this because I'm married to a guy who isn't particularly crazy about my tattoos. So... to keep him off my case, I try keep him as uninvolved as possible. It's still my body, and I'm going to decorate it the way I want to, but out of respect for my husband, I'm not going to pull him into that world. He can come visit that world if he wants to. Same with your dad. If he knows you have a bike, but you don't go on and on about it, he might slowly just let things be as they are.

Don't try to use a lot of logic. When folks get all angst ridden, like what is happening with your dad, they're operating more out of irrational fear. It's his raw emotions talking to you. He had a horrific experience, and is truly scared to the core that it may happen to you. And we all know that it could. We're all eligible. So don't try to give him a bunch of safety stats or stuff like that. It probably won't matter.

In the end, you'll have to face this with him. But be honest with him and be responsible for your choice. You need to be happy with your life for a very long time, but you also should try to be respectful of your father's life. Well, I think just you coming here with the question shows how much you care about his feelings. Now you have to follow through with a plan that will show how much you do care. Good luck, and keep us posted.

Cheers,
Loonette

[jddb87]

Thanks for all your support. Theres more to the situation that you guys dont know. He didnt want me to become a car mechanic (which i did) and since he is payin for my college education (which i am not taking for granted) im goona do what he wants me to and that is become an athletic trainer....so after i become that then im goona go back to get my automotive technician degree. That is also another story. But i appreaciate all your support and wisdom.

-joe

[FreeRide]

jddb87,

Like to chime in and add my comments........ I know where you stand and how you feel. I too am a full blood Itialian descendant(and proud of it) I'm 53 y/o and lived w/my parents till I was 30 y/o,but paying my parents monthly some of my paycheck so I didn't feel I was a sponge to them. Even though I was in my late 20's and my younger brother who was married had bought his second bike and told me I should buy one so we could take rides together. I posed the same question you did and got the same response from my parents. Age doesn't seem to matter much when you're living under their roof. They expressed deep concern for my safety and said just because your bro. has a bike doesn't mean you need one too and he knows how to ride. I didn't challenge them any further.I knew better because I went against their advise during my late teen years and learned the hard way And Loonette hit the nail on the head. My mom has a saying which I learned long ago , "Good things come to those who wait"

[Lion_Lady]

Alright here's the deal. I have been infatuated with motorcycles ever since i can remember. My Father lost his leg in a motorcycle accident when he was 23 years old ( he is now 58 tomorrow). In the hospital, they had 13 surgeons doing open heart surgery cause a rib went into his heart, and they had to amputate his leg all in the same time. He was at a stop sign in NYC and a guy drove right through him in an SUV going about 60. It was unpreventable. He obvously says that there will never be a motorcycle in my life while he is alive. When he was young, he use to race them back in italy, and his blood runs through my veins . . .
-joe

I'd say that unless you can get dad to understand that his accident WAS preventable, you're doomed to doing this on the sly. Not to discount his pain and suffering. But there is a LOT more understood/accepted about the part that a RIDER plays in keeping him (or her) self from getting hit by a car, than was realized 30 years ago.

If he'd watched his mirrors, and kept his bike in gear, he MIGHT have been able to get out of the way of the idiot driver. My guess is that he stopped in the CENTER of the the lane when he stopped, so he would have had even less time to react if he'd seen the car coming.

You won't change his views overnight, but you can keep pecking away. . . His viewpoint is based on very real fear for your safety. The only way you're gonna get anywhere is to keep hammering away with YOUR focus on riding safe and not becoming a target.

Good luck!

Pam

[RTR]

Back when I was 17. My best friend bought a bike. Which got me interested. I turned around and I bought my first bike. It was a Honda Interceptor 750. By the end of the first week. I had something like about 500 km on it. I was also attending my best friends funeral. Result of a bike accidet. Needless to say. I lost all interest in biking right there and then. It took my 14 long year to realize I was missing out on something my friend and I shared. I should have continued on riding with his memories with me.

However, when I got my second bike 14 years later. It was only 4 months into that riding season, when I almost got reunited with my friend. I was sideswiped by a Mercedez doing about 140 km (according to witnesses). Luckily for me I only suffered a broken leg. That only knocked my out for a season.

During my recovery, I realized that when it is your time to be called. It don't matter where you are or what you're doing. Motorcycling is something I loved. I lost that love only to have found it again. Just wish I can have my friend and those 14 years back.

Moral you have to do what is best for you. If that is riding then ride. If it is to respect your fathers wishes then be respectful. You indicated it is 3 years until you move out. 3 years is a lot shorter than the 14 I went without a bike.

Good luck with either choice you make.

In memory Dale Currie 1969-1987

(If I hijacked you post. I apologize for it.)