Ok so I have been practicing with shifting and stuff while hubby is at work. I was so proud of my self because I am shifting so much smoother and I wanted to show hubby.
Well when he got home he said ok show me. So we geared up got on our bikes and before I was even out of the drive way he said keep up and took off. Well he was at the stop sign before I got her turned around. I managed to keep up and shift fairly smooth after we got on the road.
When we got back he said yeah you are doing better but... Then came the list of stuff I was doing wrong no good job no nothing just a yeah. I felt my bubbble burst.
I am glad he is teaching me don't get me wrong and as I have said before I would rather learn from him than any one else (barring the msf of course)
But is a Good Job!!! to much to ask?
Is this a guy thing that they think a little praise will swell our heads? LOL
Have a great one and ride safe
Deedee
LADIES - What would you do?
awww 
Guys are clueless sometimes. DH has done similar to me, and when I brought it up, it caught him completely offguard. Why guys are mentally challenged, I have no idea
Just tell him he hurt your feelings earlier, all you wanted was some support and a good job "that's awesome babe!", but instead he knitpicked you and crushed the happy you had from practicing. That should get you a backrub!
Guys are clueless sometimes. DH has done similar to me, and when I brought it up, it caught him completely offguard. Why guys are mentally challenged, I have no idea
Just tell him he hurt your feelings earlier, all you wanted was some support and a good job "that's awesome babe!", but instead he knitpicked you and crushed the happy you had from practicing. That should get you a backrub!
Also remember that guys can be pretty impatient-- he probably just can't wait for you to be out there riding with him all the time so he is getting anxious/picky. And he's probably forgotten how long it took him to gain proficiency.
And I agree with Shorts-- I'll bet he has no idea how he came across!
Sounds like you're doing great.
Have fun and ride safe,
JT
And I agree with Shorts-- I'll bet he has no idea how he came across!
Sounds like you're doing great.
Have fun and ride safe,
JT
2007 H-D XL883 Low
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KingRobb
- Legendary 300
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I snuck over here just to apologize fer yer old man...see thats how most of our dads taught us to do stuff...they telll you when you screw it up...quiet means you did good. We don't mean to leave out the good jobs...it just not the example we got for the most part.
Dyin'? Boy, he can have this little life any time he wants to. Do ya hear that? Are ya hearin' it? Come on. You're welcome to it, ol' timer. Let me know you're up there. Come on. Love me, hate me, kill me, anything. Just let me know it.
-Cool Hand Luke
-Cool Hand Luke
KingRobb wrote:I snuck over here just to apologize fer yer old man...see thats how most of our dads taught us to do stuff...they telll you when you screw it up...quiet means you did good. We don't mean to leave out the good jobs...it just not the example we got for the most part.
Hey, I can totally vouch for that. I too learned from my dad, I also picked up the same teaching style, which doesn't always work for everybody. I'm often short with DH when I'm showing him things and he points it out of frustration as I've raked him over the coals enough. He just doesn't click with that style as I am use to.
Good thoughts KingRobb, deedee's man may just be going about it the way he was raised going about it. I've been in those shoes.
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Loonette
- Site Supporter - Platinum
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I had a huge response started, but then decided that I would just come off sounding like some feminist jerk (and it wouldn't be the first time), so I'll tone it down a bit...
I agree with what's been said about communications. Let him know how it makes you feel when these sorts of things happen. If he still doesn't "get it" then there may be some deeper issues regarding respect to work on with him. Perhaps though, he was just being a bit careless with his words and he'll be able to pay better attention in the future. But it really is up to you to be open with him about your feelings, and then decide if he's working with that or not. I'd also suggest that you continue to practice, practice, practice on your own, and not try so hard to impress him.
Cheers,
Loonette
I agree with what's been said about communications. Let him know how it makes you feel when these sorts of things happen. If he still doesn't "get it" then there may be some deeper issues regarding respect to work on with him. Perhaps though, he was just being a bit careless with his words and he'll be able to pay better attention in the future. But it really is up to you to be open with him about your feelings, and then decide if he's working with that or not. I'd also suggest that you continue to practice, practice, practice on your own, and not try so hard to impress him.
Cheers,
Loonette
FIRST RESPONDERS DO IT WITH LIGHTS AND SIRENS!! 
Find 'em hot, leave 'em wet...
********************
2006 Mean Streak 1600
Find 'em hot, leave 'em wet...
********************
2006 Mean Streak 1600
+1 for what KingRobb said. I tend to do that myself.
DeeDee1, there is something you also need to remember. I went through the same scenario with my wife and daughters. All took the MSF class and passed with no problem. Then we went out to practice on the streets. Everyone claimed that I was a lot tougher on them than the instructors were. Not one of them liked this fact at the time.
What took them a while to catch on to was the fact that I had a lot more invested personally than the instructors. If I was complaining about something that they did it was because I was trying to give them a crash course in staying alive and safe on the streets. I had sometimes made them stop in the middle of a country road to correct what I thought was a dangerous action.
Evidently trying to pass on 40 years of riding experience to new riders all at once was not what they had envisioned. There is so much more to learn that what the MSF course teaches. This is not a critisism of the course.
DeeDee1, your husband may not take the approach that you would prefer but he is probably trying to help you along.
By the way, it is damn scary for a husband to watch his wife take on a challenge that has the potential to get her killed. We want to try to pad the odds in your favor as much as possible.
By the way, don't you dare scratch the bike!
DeeDee1, there is something you also need to remember. I went through the same scenario with my wife and daughters. All took the MSF class and passed with no problem. Then we went out to practice on the streets. Everyone claimed that I was a lot tougher on them than the instructors were. Not one of them liked this fact at the time.
What took them a while to catch on to was the fact that I had a lot more invested personally than the instructors. If I was complaining about something that they did it was because I was trying to give them a crash course in staying alive and safe on the streets. I had sometimes made them stop in the middle of a country road to correct what I thought was a dangerous action.
Evidently trying to pass on 40 years of riding experience to new riders all at once was not what they had envisioned. There is so much more to learn that what the MSF course teaches. This is not a critisism of the course.
DeeDee1, your husband may not take the approach that you would prefer but he is probably trying to help you along.
By the way, it is damn scary for a husband to watch his wife take on a challenge that has the potential to get her killed. We want to try to pad the odds in your favor as much as possible.
By the way, don't you dare scratch the bike!
I would be the old, slow guy. Just let me know where you are going and I'll try to get there before you leave.
Thanks guys. I did go out with hubby again after I had practiced on my own. He came home as i was out riding my circuit and caught up with me. I told him I was working on the stuff he had pointed out to me.
We went up to our favorite parking lot again and he got on my bike and showed me what i was doing then the proper way. He then said what you are doing could get ya killed. I told him ok I will practice doing it and then I practiced my starts and stops which he noticed weren't up to par to be safe. I noticed when i started doing it rght he had a big grin on his face. That made my happy go way up.
I think you all are right he just isn't big with the praise and he wants me to learn how to ride so that I don't get killed. I did ask him why he was grinning and he said because I was doing good. I guess I tend to forget that he wasn't given the good jobs much and thats his way to teach. I do know now that if i see that big grin on his face or if he gives me a nod of the head it is because I am doing good. If I am not I get the signal to go over to him and stop. So he can tell me what I need to fix. Or he just yells at me things like turn your head give it more gas...If we are out on the road like going to the parking lot his biggest thing is keeping up with him so that he can shield me from the other cars on the road. Not that I like that much cause its only him on his motorcycle and as we know mtorcycles don't win against cars.
I know guys aren't good at expressing themselves and i have a feeling he feels the same way I do when I watch him get on his bike and ride off. There is always that niggling fear though i know he is exprienced. it must be ten times for him because I am not experienced and he being the man feels the need to protect me and teach me right so that I don't do something stupid even though he is the one that got me into riding.
But anyway thanks again I think I will jut take the nods and grins as his good job. And when he tells me what I am doing wrong at least I will knwo when iget it right I will get that nod or grin.
Have a great one and ride safe
Deedee
We went up to our favorite parking lot again and he got on my bike and showed me what i was doing then the proper way. He then said what you are doing could get ya killed. I told him ok I will practice doing it and then I practiced my starts and stops which he noticed weren't up to par to be safe. I noticed when i started doing it rght he had a big grin on his face. That made my happy go way up.
I think you all are right he just isn't big with the praise and he wants me to learn how to ride so that I don't get killed. I did ask him why he was grinning and he said because I was doing good. I guess I tend to forget that he wasn't given the good jobs much and thats his way to teach. I do know now that if i see that big grin on his face or if he gives me a nod of the head it is because I am doing good. If I am not I get the signal to go over to him and stop. So he can tell me what I need to fix. Or he just yells at me things like turn your head give it more gas...If we are out on the road like going to the parking lot his biggest thing is keeping up with him so that he can shield me from the other cars on the road. Not that I like that much cause its only him on his motorcycle and as we know mtorcycles don't win against cars.
I know guys aren't good at expressing themselves and i have a feeling he feels the same way I do when I watch him get on his bike and ride off. There is always that niggling fear though i know he is exprienced. it must be ten times for him because I am not experienced and he being the man feels the need to protect me and teach me right so that I don't do something stupid even though he is the one that got me into riding.
But anyway thanks again I think I will jut take the nods and grins as his good job. And when he tells me what I am doing wrong at least I will knwo when iget it right I will get that nod or grin.
Have a great one and ride safe
Deedee
