Friday
Miles: 9,787
Mood:
Confession #78- Look at me, I'm a stupid moron!
I'm riding to work this morning and I know that winter is finally here. My hands are freezing, by the way, due to wearing my only-pair summer riding gloves. It's difficult to write. Anyway, I'm riding to work and I stop at this stoplight along my route near a bus stop. There's a guy standing there holding a steaming cup of coffee. Its 50 degrees out, the sun is shining, there's no wind, and I just finished riding 65 on the freeway for 20 minutes, so I'm a bit nippy. But now that I'm in the warm city, I feel great.
This guy on the other hand is dressed in tall winter boots, puffy padded pants, a heavy ski jacket with scarf, fat cotton gloves, and a beanie pulled down over his ears. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet and rubbing his side with one hand, drinking coffee from the other. And I'm sitting there thinking,
are you freaking kidding me? Be a man, you pansy! See the 20 year old girl behind you? She's in flipflops and a tank top and drinking a cherry icee thinking to herself "I would never sleep with this guy, but that biker is hot." And then she flashed me. But you missed it because your turtle neck was over your face.
I saw this bumper sticker on the freeway. Slapped on the back of some new car that didn't even have a plate yet. It's one thing to ruin your car with a stupid bumper sticker, but if you really have to have a slogan glued to your car, try not to choose one that makes you look like a stupid moron.
It said, "I have the right to smoke" no doubt prompted by our city's recent decision to ban smoking from public restaurants and bars.
I've heard all the arguments about their right to smoke. It boils down to one thing, "I have the right to kill myself." I have two responses to this argument.
Number one. Your right to kill yourself costs taxpayers money in hospital bills and other expenses.
Number two. You're full of it.
Show me one smoker laying in a hospital bed an hour from death surrounded by his family who says, "I sure am glad I had the right to kill myself early. I didn't really want to have to watch you dumb kids grow up any longer than I had to."
Puh-lease.
Its not about freedom. Its about the government protecting its citizens from corrupt money-grubbing corporations. You think anyone wants to smoke? Give a 10 year old kid a cigarette and ask him to smoke the disgusting thing for 50 years, alienating nonsmoking friends, waking up at midnight in coughing fits, and dying a horrible painful death at 45. Yeah, right. The kid chooses it because the corporations advertise how cool it is, adult it is, and stick in ingredients that make you addicted.
If anyone was smart enough to do research on what cigarettes really are and think for themselves, no one would choose early death. Take the trans fat fiasco. Trans fat is an artificial fat that your body can't metabolize, so it sits in your body and clogs up your arteries. Corporations use it because its cheap, and figured you stupid people wouldn't know any better. Well now the truth comes out and New York wants to ban it. So what do the genius citizens do? Protest their freedom!
I have the right to kill myself.
Then you know what happens? These idiots turn 50, are an inch from death, and clog the court system with lawsuits against the corporations for killing them. Or their kids do it for them after they're dead. No one whined about the government forbidding the use of aesbestos, or certain cancer-causing brain-tumor-growing death-making pesticide chemicals on crops. But as soon as the government threatens to change the taste of your french fries you're all up in arms. Maybe we should just let all the corporations make whatever poisons they want, and advertise that they are harmless all they want. It would be great population control, if only we could get rid of any and all free health care (oh, and voluntarily consuming poison will also void your health insurance, my rates are high enough thank you...you want to kill yourself, you can pay cash if you suddenly want to extend your life). So as soon as you vote to ban free health care and close off hospitals to paying customers only, I'll vote for your right to consume poison. Deal?
Anyway, the government wouldn't have to step in on this if you stupid people wouldn't keep eating fast food 3 meals a day. Eat a carrot or something for pete's sake. You're all fat, stinky slobs that need a nanny government to take care of you because you're too stupid to do it yourself. And your mother told me you were a mistake. And you're ugly.
So, you could say that I disagree with that bumper sticker.
