Warm Beer

[slimcolo]

Why do the English drink warm beer??


















Lucas builds fridges too.

[Johnj]

Did you ever notice that hot beer and cold pizza are at the same temperature?

[Nibblet99]

ok I'm english... wth is Lucas???

[Johnj]

Back in the day Lucas Electrics made all the electrical components for all British bikes like BSA, Norton, Matchless, Triumph. When ever there was an electrical problem with these bikes, much swearing was directed at Joe Lucas. The problem was the British bike had a positive ground unlike the Harleys and other bike running around.

Did you know Joe Lucas was awarded an Iron Cross during WW2. I rode Triumphs during the 70s and 80s

[mydlyfkryzis]

Actually, it's even more ironic.

Joseph Lucas was a pioneer in electric Lighting for automotive applications.

Here's a good summary: http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1255562

He is known among us older gearheads as The Prince of Darkness.

If you ever owned or repaired older English vehicles (Austin, Jaguar, Triumph) or English Motorcycles, you may also know him as the inventor of the short circuit.

On of the problems with the older English cars is that they did not use a chassis ground like us Americans. They ran a separate ground wire (Early cars were positive ground too). The problems started when a ground wire broke or became corroded. Since the electrical device (say your headlights), couldn't find a path to ground through the ground wire, they would find a path through something else, say your windshield wipers. So when you put your headlights on, they would come on really dim, and your wipers would start moving very slowly across the window. It was frustrating trying to find the bad ground. When you removed the dashboard, you would find what appeared to be hundreds of wires. The ground wires were the ones that ranto a common point, which is usually wherre you started. The common ground point often wasn't that well grounded.

The Lights and generator/alternator systems (lucas) were also fragile. Between the wiring and the fragile electrics, it was very difficult keeping everything running. It was also difficult keeping the car from erupting into flames. The unintended ground path usually caused the wirng to heat up and set the car on fire. (It might be why Jaguars were the "HOT" cars in the 50's and early 60s)

[mydlyfkryzis]

Here's a collection of common jokes from the above website:

A Collection of Lucas Jokes

* The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

* Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim the "sudden, unexpected darkness"

* Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.

* Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

* Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

* The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off. The other three switch settings - Smoke, Smolder and Burn.

* The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

* "I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou...

* If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

* Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo - It sank!

* It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they meet too much resistance.

* Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, as they all look the same ?" "He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

*Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.

* Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

* QA called and told the Engineering they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer.

* Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

* Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: " Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."

* Why do the English drink their beer WARM? Because their refrigerators are made by Lucas

[RoadRocket]

Joseph Lucas ..... The Prince of Darkness

Lucas were nowhere near as bad as Italian electrics in the 70s. People used to buy second hand Lucas switches from motorcycle breakers to fit onto Ducatis and Laverdas.

[bebopin64]

* Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.

HAHAHA i like that one.


on a second note. ever try to make a 1952 MG wipe rain off the windshield? you dont know what the hell is gonna happen. i had it restored and replaced all the electronics.