Community... Is it really???

[racer]

if you so not like the mood of being in the group, you can explore motoring for your own sake and hobby. or maybe then you should find a group which accepts you personally.

[ZooTech]

Rebecca,

You went in to the situation expecting them to make the first move. Perhaps you need to be more social and approach people and introduce yourself. Or, maybe the "group" isn't as organized as you assume and not everyone knows eachother so they feel just as out-of-place as you do. Bottom line is, you are correct to assume that most bikers go against the biker stereotype and are actually decent people...but human relations are human relations, regardless of what vessel you use to draw them together (classic cars, guns, motorcycles) and just showing up has never been an instant membership to anything. I say this from personal experience because I have never felt as though I belong to anything, but that has more to do with neuropsychology than social awkwardness. Next time you go, hit up at least a half-dozen people and ask them about the dynamics of the group. Ask how many of them are aquainted with one another. Make some small talk and inquire about any upcoming rides. Personally, had I been there, I probably would have ignored you too...even though I'm single and don't have anyone to make jealous...because without some preemptive action from you, how do I know "Hubby" or "Boyfriend" isn't watching from a distance waiting to start trouble? A single female walking around is usually something to avoid in this troubled day and age.

[BuzZz]

...because without some preemptive action from you, how do I know "Hubby" or "Boyfriend" isn't watching from a distance waiting to start trouble? A single female walking around is usually something to avoid in this troubled day and age.

This is something I noticed in the USA, but not in Canada. I've had 2 serious relationships with American women and both were fraught with such traps and complications. They seemed to thrive on it. I have never experianced it here with Northern Ladies. Then again, the American ladies seemed much more willing to participate in such activities themselves........

[old-n-slow]

I am going to give the group another chance because basically they are the ONLY group in this area (read small town here) and I know that I am very hesitant when meeting new people so I will go back. It just surprised me that they were not more open and/or friendly. There were a lot of woment there, most were passingers but several were riders although all but one were with husbends boyfriends etc.. Maybe it's the single girl rider complex, I don't know, men are afraid to talk to a female rider in case their girlfriend/wife gets mad and I don't know why the women wouldn't talk, the reasons could be endless. I will try once more, and I will even try to wear clothes that "fit in" with this group more. We shall see.

Becca

I find that when you get many people together they tend to gravitate to those they know, which may be why you were ignored. I ride with a group called the Southern cruisers riding club (SCRC) and when I first joined up with them they were friendly enough to greet me but that was about all. I had to make the first overtures and now --- they pretty well all know me and I them. If you're going to spend your life waiting for people to come to you you will not be as successful at meeting people as if you went to them. So in my opinion you have the right idea, go back, and keep going back. I can tell you from experience that the people in the group I ride with are absolutely awesome (once you get to know them) They are helpful beyond what I might ever have expected, to the point where I have to say that this is the best club I have ever belonged to......

[mysta2]

I agree with some of what zootech said. I belong to a local car club and yeah when new people show up it's not that they're avoided or ignored, they're just treated like anyone else in the group, if they don't talk to anyone else it's likily that no one else will talk to them (unless they bring something spectacular that everyone wants to know about) because we don't know them any better than they know us.

I doubt it was that you were unwelcome, you probably just weren't any more or less welcome than anyone else there.

being a woman you face a bunch of other hurtles or helps, it could be that the married men are afraid to open a conversation with you infront of the gf/wife (seems silly though) and the single men are intimidated (here's an example of my own insecurities... In daytona last year there were these two bikini clad girls laying on the beach next to thier Gixxers, which just made them that much hotter... I would have loved nothing more than to go up to them and start a conversation, but I just don't have that kind of confidence... at least not without any help)

[ronboskz650sr]

I'm sure you were noticed. Go on back if they do the kind of stuff you enjoy. I'm sure whoever noticed you the first time will eventually check you out, to make you welcome. If it takes a couple of tries, you decide if it's the kind of group you want to hang out with. In the meantime, you can be checking them out, too. Don't give up.

[Rebeccaatthewell]

I appreciate everyone's point of view and I do intend to try again, it is just hard for me to go to new places by myself I guess I am not the atypical rider and probally never will be Thanks for the input everyone.
Becca

[9000white]

ride by yourself for yourself.them posers suck they aint got a clue.they were all probably too busy admiring themselves to notice you.

[earwig]

Becca..... I am thinking that maybe a lot of the people there thought you were with a man and were afraid to talk to you... none of us like to talk to chicks only to find out that they have a big jealous boyfriend or husband. If you go a few more times and you are sure they they know are alone try showing some cleavage and smiling that will definately do the trick, hehe.

[ronboskz650sr]

When I was single, No such fear ever stopped me from approaching a woman I wanted to meet. Again, I think you'll be acknowledged if you persevere. People can be shy, nowadays. Besides, you're looking for riding friends. Maybe the person who pointed you this direction can go with you next time and introduce you around. Seems fair enough, don't you think? Best wishes with this...keep us posted!