My son was in a motorcycle accident today

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JC Viper · Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:12 am

I'm glad to hear he is pretty ok. This will help him grow as a rider in the future especially on how good gear helps to keeps things from getting worse.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Lion_Lady · Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:24 am

Wow!! So scary! And so wonderful that your son was wearing his helmet! Give him some time to heal, and lots of hugs to him.

I've got to agree with the others about NOT giving up riding (at least not making that decision while he's still shook up) just now. Don't argue with him, he'll dig in his heels. That fear/loathing is most likely a result of the very real and still fresh trauma and anguish.

Too many young men die discovering they're not immortal.

Talk to him about his view of what happened... how it unfolded, and what he did that probably put him on pavement. Then, start to ask what he could have done differently that would have changed the end result. He just might begin to consider getting back on the horse on his own.

P

motorcyclinmama · Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:08 pm

I had a long conversation with my son last night after changing all his bandages. I asked him if he would ride again, and he said yes. He told me it was the fear of what had just happened that made him tell us he was done riding. He said that he was scared though, because he didn't want that to happen again, because it hurt too much.

I am so thankful he is ok, but in a way I am glad he got hurt. It took away the sense of invincibility he had. I know to some that sounds cruel for a mother to say, but I mean it in the most loving way. Atleast he was only hurt and not killed. I have been so scared for him since he started riding. Even though my hubby and I ride we know the statistics for young riders. They aren't the best.

Every time we tied to talk to him he shut us down. I even took the MSF class with him, and we would only let him ride with us for the first 6 months (no one else). We warned him so many times, but he had to learn the hard way I guess. He has told me how lucky he feels though. He said he thought it was over for him when he knew he was going to crash.

He also told me he is going to talk to a couple of his friends who ride about wearing a full face helmet. He feels that above all else that is THE most important component of safety gear.

My husband and I discussed it. We will give his license back in about a month.
Again I love my baby, and I am SOOOOOO glad he is ok.

DRam · #14 Unread post by **DRam** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:21 pm

Sounds like things worked out very well. Your son is a lot more sensible than many youngsters I've known. Most have crashed, some a lot harder than your son, and then gone right back to riding as they did prior to the crash. Congratulations on raising a mature young man who learns from experience. Must be due to parenting skills. Good on you both.

follow · #15 Unread post by **follow** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:35 pm

What can I say but Merry Christmas...I am so glad you will have your whole family together and your son home with just a few bumps and bruises. All though he will have a forever lasting memory of this but I'm sure he will find it all useful when he chooses the right time to get back on a bike. For some an episode like this will make a person a more responsible rider.

carter · #16 Unread post by **carter** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 7:26 pm

Always bad to hear about an accident but good to hear that he walked away .... rather chased his bike.

flw · #17 Unread post by **flw** » Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:24 am

First, thank God he lived and is not disabled in anyway from it.

Second, there will always be dangers we cannot control like the dirt.

Third, there are people that learn from their mistakes and it sounds like your son could be one. Be glad.

There is nothing that can be done short of removing someones license to test for immaturity. As parents we make sure we educate them and harp on safety as long as we have breath. The rest is up to them.

Wolfey · #18 Unread post by **Wolfey** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:16 am

I want to say as a mom with a 17 y.o. son, I am so glad yours is okay. He's getting to that age where stuff's gonna happen, and I'd rather see a loved one learn a valuable -- albeit painful -- lesson and keep on digging living than to stay inside, afraid of taking any chances at all.

My son lives with his dad, who did not prepare him adequately for driving at all and handed him his license without requiring him to log all the hours in various conditions that Driver's Ed makes a student do. That is reflected in the 2 totaled cages, 1 wreckless driving warning, 1 wreckless driving conviction, and numerous crashes he's had; all that he's been blessed enough to walk away from, thank his guardian angels. I pray he learns from his mistakes. Now he says he wants a crotch rocket (his words.) I pray he doesn't get one until he goes at least two years crash-free in his cage. But I did say I would pay for his MSF course, maybe it will make him a better driver, period.

It's a difficult time in a parent's life when we have to admit to ourselves that we can't protect our child from serious harm anymore. They take the same risks that we do. That's a big pill to swallow. I really feel for you both, Mom and Dad.
It's gonna be alright, though.

ofblong · #19 Unread post by **ofblong** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:49 am

Wolfey wrote:I want to say as a mom with a 17 y.o. son, I am so glad yours is okay. He's getting to that age where stuff's gonna happen, and I'd rather see a loved one learn a valuable -- albeit painful -- lesson and keep on digging living than to stay inside, afraid of taking any chances at all.

My son lives with his dad, who did not prepare him adequately for driving at all and handed him his license without requiring him to log all the hours in various conditions that Driver's Ed makes a student do. That is reflected in the 2 totaled cages, 1 wreckless driving warning, 1 wreckless driving conviction, and numerous crashes he's had; all that he's been blessed enough to walk away from, thank his guardian angels. I pray he learns from his mistakes. Now he says he wants a crotch rocket (his words.) I pray he doesn't get one until he goes at least two years crash-free in his cage. But I did say I would pay for his MSF course, maybe it will make him a better driver, period.

It's a difficult time in a parent's life when we have to admit to ourselves that we can't protect our child from serious harm anymore. They take the same risks that we do. That's a big pill to swallow. I really feel for you both, Mom and Dad.
It's gonna be alright, though.

Sorry but my parents did the same thing to me. signed my permit took me to the SOS office with my paperwork got my liscence. NOT ONCE did I drive with them.

I have NEVER been in a collision accident. Have never got into any accident on ice. never gotten a wreckless driving of any kind. I can say I have gotten a couple 5mph over speeding tickets (was doing 10) and have hit a couple of deer to which you couldnt tell there was any damage on the vehicle. So requirement of logging all hours DOES NOT mean they will automatically be in accidents etc etc etc. heck I learned to drive a stick with the help of an instructor during the MSF course in a matter of 10 minutes. that was the bike. I tought myself how to drive a stick shift truck only 3 weeks ago and I figured it out in less than a minute (that would be how to drive it not necessarily how to keep it on the road as im still learning that by driving slow in bad conditions hehe).

Wolfey · #20 Unread post by **Wolfey** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 12:44 pm

ofblong wrote: Sorry but my parents did the same thing to me. signed my permit took me to the SOS office with my paperwork got my liscence. NOT ONCE did I drive with them.

I have NEVER been in a collision accident. Have never got into any accident on ice. never gotten a wreckless driving of any kind.... So [failing to fulfill the] requirement of logging all hours DOES NOT mean they will automatically be in accidents etc etc etc. ...that would be how to drive it not necessarily how to keep it on the road as im still learning that by driving slow in bad conditions hehe).

I agree that wrecking isn't an automatic outcome of failing to log all the required hours in the given situations such as night, rain, etc. You're absolutely right about that. And as an ex Shock-Trauma Tech in a volunteer rescue squad in a somewhat small county, I think it's awesome that no one's hit you yet, and that you're such a quick study to learn new things.

Also, you seem to have some sense about being careful. That's an important trait which has likely made a big difference between your driving history and my son's.

When viewed from the opposite direction rather, that my son has had a lot of wrecks, the fact that he didn't really complete driver's ed as he should have could be a contributing factor to his accident rate. It can be compared to a rider who just so happens to have been allowed to "sit out" and not do some of the exercises in the MSF course (wouldn't pass the course) or who didn't take it at all. Such a rider might have a higher than average accident rate, but it doesn't automatically mean he or she will, I agree.