A New Rider But an Old Friend

[blues2cruise]

blues...ryethil is a lady. haha

I realized that after I posted it. LOL I fixed it.

[jaskc78]

Will you marry me? J/K.....

will you teach me the secret to your super duper packing techniques?

[blues2cruise]

Will you marry me? J/K.....

will you teach me the secret to your super duper packing techniques?

Sure. With or without a crate?

[jaskc78]

well, i need to pack a small tent, 2 sleeping bags, a loaf of bread and jar of peanut butter, 3 gallons of drinking water, 2 gas cans, 3 bottles of moonshine, a smidge of bubble gum, a carton of cigarettes, and still be able to ride 2-up on a ninja 250.

.....and there needs to be room for a poodle, too. just in case.

what ya got for me?

[Greg .]

ryethil,

I don't know you as well as jaskc78 seems to, so I wasn't going to be as forward and I wasn't thinking everything that jaskc78 was, but ...

I was certainly struck by your 'control issues' that were VERY evident in your post.

[Wrider]

Ryethil, I've been through a VERY similar dilemma with my sister.
She was dead set on getting a 2008 CBR600RR for her first bike. She extremely strong willed too. The only concession I could get her to make (I would not have let her ride a 600 for a first bike) was to let me put limiter plates on it. After looking at insurance rates and such she ended up on a Ninja 250 and is now learning what a motorcycle can truly do. (The acceleration literally scares her on a 250.)
Point is that sometimes you have to let a person be their own person. I've learned that the hard way the last few years with women I've dated and my hard-headed sister. It may not make you happy, but sometimes you have to let them be themselves.
My best advice is to look at the situation this way:
You trust her with your life, so trust her with her own.


Now as far as the guys in your group, I know that type of guy, and women do flock to them. Kinda weird isn't it? I tend to get into debates with them (not arguments) about how women should be treated and we usually come to the understanding that they're just more aggressive in their approach than most other guys, but still have the same basic principles.

[mazer]

I dont get what the issue here is.
Is it that she is growing without you or in spite of you?
What is the control part you write about??
Here is my thing. Teach who wants to learn, help them to be the best they can, help them see where they need to do better and support them from there.
That she is hanging out with people who you dont approve of is probably more the issue. Are they helping her to be a better person? Is she getting something out of the relationship with the people you dont get along with? Maybe she is. Maybe she see's something in them you are unable to see.
Is she over 21?
So she gets a big bike, she learns early on that you were right, and she sells it and gets a smaller one. So what. No harm no foul. Or she gets on the bike she wants and loves it knowing all of what can possibily happen. Then you all ride off into the sunset on really big bikes.
If it was a relationship I was in, and my loved one wanted a HUGE bike and I was scared about the possibilities and lack of control she might have in handling the beast, I would be paying for an advance motorcycle safety course plus some just for her in order to help her be safe.
Facts are facts and you can die just as easily on a 250 as you can on a 1200.
It is hard to let people we know and love grow. Sometimes they WILL grow away from us, and we never know when we introduce those who we care about to something risky if something bad might happen or not.
I hope you are strong enough to support your friend in whatever decision she makes, and that you are there to support her as a new rider. As for hanging out with people who are not so cool, maybe you can let her know how you feel and hope she understands where you are coming from and will be able to see those people for who they are. If not, deal

[Ryethil]

Okay, first of all, Thanks to everyone who replied to my post. What you might have thought were vicious comments were the very thing I wanted to hear and the party they were meant for sort of woke up to something I couldn't tell her for she wouldn't listen. Thank you, again.

First of all, tonight was the first time the two of us could read your posts together and like I said it opened her eyes. While bikers and their lifestyles is attractive the few, it comes with a cost and she was confronted with did she want to pay it? She hasn't so far because while I didn't restrict her partying, I kept her safe (possibly too safe) and didn't let connection with the club besmirch her reputation.

Now she wanted to be a club member. One of the prerequisites is learning to ride and she was going to be a badass biker. The gurls were so infatuated with her learning to ride and how I might be so mean as to deny her the chance to learn to ride a motorcycle, they broke one of the basic laws of belonging to the club. The guys did the same thing and I got an apology from the chapter president tonight when he was visiting. If he hadn't, I would of called him out on it.

See, if you are a member of the club in good standing then you get the privlages of being a club member but you are constrained by the by-laws of the club also. My partner never became a member of the club but had enjoyed the benefits of the club without paying any dues.

Another way to put this is that she didn't want to lose the priviledges of being born in to a family of means but also live the lifestyle of woman biker. I had protected her and took the heat from her family for everything. This matters little for me since I'm stone cold. Her family knew this and didn't dare call me out on this. Just talk about me behind my back. It was if I was being pushed into the position of "Husband". I just took it and things went on.

My parner is bent the same way I am. She is or was a debutant type who was pushed/forced to marry someone who she tried to love. It didn't work out and her ex-husband was extremely abusive. She got no support fom her family and she was seriously abused. She asked for help and I gave it. He and his friends took beating as I called in favors and others accepted. The divorce she wanted started proceedings the next day.

I know this is way too much information but since allmost everyone thought I was a black hat in this, I just wanted to square things.
So where I'm going with this is that why did she want to learn to ride? If it was because she wanted to ride then I would suport her in anyway possible. If it was to be a club member than she would have to pay her dues and I could no longer protect her in the same way.

Actually it was as I feared. She wanted to be a more of club member but that I would still keep her safe. But even though I'm screwed into a hopital bed, she realizes she wants to learn to ride because she wants control and not be my b*tch. She relizes that she expected ttoo much from me and now wants the real me not the white knight. I hope that this makes our relationship that much stronger. And she'll learn to be a real partner.

Now to motorcycles...

She is going to take the MSF course and passing it is going to be a requirement for future plans. I gave my permission for Club members to help her learn to ride. She will wear full gear while she's learning and after will wear gear just because. I'm afraid of this last part for the ladies don't have a lot of use for gear themselves and think it's a tool of the insurance companies. This is why I was afraid of club members teaching her with out my imput.

The bike she wants is the XL1200N Nightster. It's 2009 with 665 miles on it. It was treated gently, possibly too gently. I'm a little worried about the bike being too much, too soon. But the club members think that it will be just the thing for her and they'll give her their undivided attention.

Like a big kid, she 's already talking about the Big Twin she wants and I told her no because I couldn't get "training wheels" big enough fot it.

So anyway, I'm not as evil as everybody thought. I really do have control issues but the kind that I'm afraid for her safety. BTW, she's already looking sideways at the ST. But she got a while before that...

[fireguzzi]

Why do you keep spelling it gurls? Is it like your club thing to say it that way? Just wondering.
What club are you a pert of if I may ask. Are you like 1%ers or something? Just wondering because you mentioned getting some dude beat up or something and I guess I assumed it was club members. Or was I wrong. Just wondering because you kinda come across as being some kind of badass.

Your partner should sign up and give her take on this, (to me odd because I never met anyone with a like attitude) situation.

Man I need to go to sleep.

You know how your eyes start burning when you stay up too long?
Sucks
goodnight.

[Social Distortion]

i was gonna comment, but i think i got carried away somewhere.....and forgot what my point was....
good luck....