Riding alone vs riding with someone-delimma.

[kerwink040]

..Lost a friend/rider today.
I'm a newbie rider (3 months) but I've clocked over 2000 miles in those 3 months. I've ridden hills, twisties, city roads (normal speeds) and just recently- freeways (75-83 mph) -to keep up with a friend/ group.

My friend likes to ride fast. He just returned to riding after several years of non-riding. We were to ride together, take trips, etc. all on motorcycles. He even got a special grip for his tank so his wife could hold on to it instead of him while riding.

This past weekend we were riding with a group and there were some racers. He rode with them most of the time, he left me behind. He wound up having a slight accident and when I rode up he was trying to recover from it. He and the bike are ok.

We talked briefly at work today and it seems that neither one of us wants to compromise our preferred riding speeds for the other. (I don't want to ride too fast cause I'm too new and it's not safe) so it looks like we wont be riding buddies anymore because of this.

I've been finding it difficult to find other riders that want to take it slow and gradually build up speed and freeway riding. Most motorcyclsits I know and have talked to seem hesitant and usually wont ride with me cause I'm new. So looks like I'm back to riding solo.

Have others/ newbies found this to be true for you?

[pchast]

I find it better to ride alone partly for the same reasons.
Otherwise I'm usually using the bike to run errands or
personal related trips not an organized ride...

Don't let it bother you. When you feel ready others will
be interested ingoing with you.

Pete

[madjak30]

Not to be a jerk or anything, but your buddy sounds like a bit of a squid...not a very good buddy if he can't calm himself down to ride with a friend...I just ride my own pace, if I'm riding with someone who wants to go faster...givver, I'll catch up at the next stop...and if there is too big of a gap, they are not my type of riders anyway...

Ride your own ride, it's up to you to make the ride enjoyable...

Later.

[Grey Thumper]

Not to be a jerk or anything, but your buddy sounds like a bit of a squid...not a very good buddy if he can't calm himself down to ride with a friend.

+1

Off hand, I think he sounds like a douche, to be honest. Sure, I can be in the mood to ride, er, at a "spirited pace", and during those times, I ride alone. But I don't mind riding at anyone's pace, especially if they're new to the sport, riding a new and unfamiliar bike, or just want company and/or a little encouragement. We were all new at this once, it wouldn't hurt to remember how it was, and be a bit more empathetic and supportive.

PS, nothing wrong at all with riding solo. I think it's generally safer than when riding with a group, especially for people who are new at it. You can ride at a pace you enjoy, build up your abilities gradually, and practise skills that would be unnerving in a group (swerving or sudden braking, for instance). I also think you get to know your bike better when you ride alone.

[agraebner]

I have had the same issues with people I have worked with over the years. Most of them no longer even have bikes because they totaled them. Its funny being told you don't know how to ride by people who cant keep a bike a year and that is riding only a few times a year even. I will set out on a ride with anyone and give them the chance however, it can turn in to me on a leisurely trip by myself if i have to push to keep up. My issue isn't that I'm afraid to ride a speed, I try to follow the law enough that I wont loose my license or have to try to out run the man, as most of them have done or tried to do. I cannot afford to get tickets and have my insurance raised too.

[madjak30]

+1

Usually when I ride with someone that is new, or that I have never ridden with...I let them lead and set the pace, we have a discussion before the ride and I tell them to ride what ever pace they are comfortable with...slow or spiritted...if they want to "blast" I let them go at it...but if someone is nervous, I just leave a 3 to 5 second gap so that they don't feel pushed...you don't learn if you are scared...

I find it better to just follow...plus, I usually have my POV camera mounted on my helmet...

It's always much safer to just ride your own ride...don't worry about keeping up or holding them back...if they are behind you and want to go fast, they will pass and go...or they will say something at the next stop...to which you say that maybe they should lead and you will catch up at the next stop...or decide to ride on your own...a friend of mine has just let them get out of sight, then turned a different direction when he felt people were not riding in a safe manor...

Watch out for you, no one else will!!

Later.

[Wrider]

madjak I'm with you on that. I usually ride faster than most people do (I'm more comfortable overtaking than being overtaken), so I almost without fail let others lead so they can maintain the pace they prefer. Otherwise I'm always checking my mirrors to make sure they're still there, or wondering if they want to go faster. When they lead I tell them whatever pace they set I'll follow, unless I'm not comfortable, then I'll meet up at the next stop.

[mogster]

On my return to biking after a long gap I was nervous & very aware my skills had slipped. I am fortunate to have an experienced & patient partner who has been very encouraging. I prefer him to ride in front & at first I got really nervous about "losing" him so would sometimes ride outwith my confidence zone to keep up. I know he was just trying to gently push me rather than being irresponsible.

Now when we go out I have the confidence to let him go ie if he wants a blast then he goes & waits for me up ahead. Or if we are on a return journey home we sometimes take different routes!

I have also found that going out on my own is really good & because I am making independent decisions about route speed etc I actually sometimes ride faster than with him.

As said above I think your riding "buddy" is a bit of a knob! Go out & about on your own & if you drop in a biker hangouts people will chat, then before you know it you will have new buddies.

Enjoy

[kerwink040]

Not to be a jerk or anything, but your buddy sounds like a bit of a squid...not a very good buddy if he can't calm himself down to ride with a friend.

+1

Off hand, I think he sounds like a douche, to be honest. Sure, I can be in the mood to ride, er, at a "spirited pace", and during those times, I ride alone. But I don't mind riding at anyone's pace, especially if they're new to the sport, riding a new and unfamiliar bike, or just want company and/or a little encouragement. We were all new at this once, it wouldn't hurt to remember how it was, and be a bit more empathetic and supportive.

PS, nothing wrong at all with riding solo. I think it's generally safer than when riding with a group, especially for people who are new at it. You can ride at a pace you enjoy, build up your abilities gradually, and practise skills that would be unnerving in a group (swerving or sudden braking, for instance). I also think you get to know your bike better when you ride alone.

Coolness. I'll start riding alone more. There are some skills I want to work on.

[kerwink040]

On my return to biking after a long gap I was nervous & very aware my skills had slipped. I am fortunate to have an experienced & patient partner who has been very encouraging. I prefer him to ride in front & at first I got really nervous about "losing" him so would sometimes ride outwith my confidence zone to keep up. I know he was just trying to gently push me rather than being irresponsible.

Now when we go out I have the confidence to let him go ie if he wants a blast then he goes & waits for me up ahead. Or if we are on a return journey home we sometimes take different routes!

I have also found that going out on my own is really good & because I am making independent decisions about route speed etc I actually sometimes ride faster than with him.

As said above I think your riding "buddy" is a bit of a knob! Go out & about on your own & if you drop in a biker hangouts people will chat, then before you know it you will have new buddies.

Enjoy

Thanks for the advice. Sounds good to me.