Passed MSF... looking to buy a bike but one problem.

Message

300zxer · #1 Unread post by **300zxer** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:08 am

well I know this doesn't relate to many of you vets, but I passed the msf with my dad and he wants to start riding like me. However, my mom is not to excited about the idea(btw they are divorced). Right now the three of us split my college tuition and if I get a bike there goes her help. ( i rode a ninja 250 at the course and i loved it and i think thats the bike Ill buy)

I can probably talk her into letting me ride, I just need your help. She says it is way to dangerous . Ive been telling everyone I know Im gonna start riding and it seems EVERYONE has a story about there brother/friend/person they knew who crashed/got hit by a car/ etc etc while riding a motorcycle and it is really discouraging to set up arguments for my case when all i think about are those strories. THe only thing I tell my mom is my msf instructor has been riding for 30 years and has not wrecked into a car. It just seems like some people are totally against motorcycles.

#2 Unread post by **cb360** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:51 am

The only thing you can do is arm yourself with knowledge and tell her that the injury statistics decrease for those who have had professional training and wear the proper gear.

Or you could pay for college yourself.

Or you could finish college and then get a bike.

flynrider · Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:49 am

Well, you've got a problem. Mom says it's way too dangerous. Well, the definition of "too dangerous" is subjective. One thing you'll have to overcome is the fact that motorcycling is a much more dangerous way to get around than driving a cage. The increased risk is the price you pay for having all that fun. Your best bet is to show your mom that you are responsible about riding. Emphasize your training. Explain how the protective gear works. Do your best to show her that you will be a safe and responsible rider. If she hasn't already made up her mind, you might convince her. If not, then find another source of income for college.

archanis · #4 Unread post by **archanis** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:08 am

last but not least, if your good at this sort of thing, play the emotional card, but only after you represent all the facts. it would be a good idea to show her statistics in your favor, but drop one or two in there that go her way.

example, tell her you know that using a motorcycle instead of a cage is more dangerous, but also point out that you think you are responsible enough to handle the responsibility, point out gas prices, milage, point out every advantage to a bike you can think of, and tell her that a 250cc isnt some 'fire out the exaust flaming crotch rocket of doom' to use my moms words. tell her its a stable low end bike you can use to get you around.

when im talking about the emotional card, DO NOT say something like 'i just thought you might understand' if your losing. this shows that not only are you not responsible enough to get the bike, but shows that you watched one too many sitcoms as a kid

say something like 'im realy sorry you feel that way' push comes to shove, your going to have to hoof it for yourself sometime, and your parents cant always support you be it financialy or otherwise. if she dissagrees, just become a little more independant. if she realises that your going to get a bike with or without her help or consent, it kinda shoves her into a corner. while its not the best thing to happen, sometimes its unavoidable. the outcome is one of two here. she helps you with college, or she doesnt. ether way, good luck.

embries · #5 Unread post by **embries** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 12:05 pm

Same thing happening to my roommate. If she says well I know so and so who had a wreck on a bike, ask her how many people she knows who've had car wrecks and were injured. I'd say, personally, that it's roughly the same. I actually know way more people who were seriously injured in car wrecks than on motorcycles. Provide other statistics like you're 40 times less likely to have an accident on a motorcycle than in a car (never mind the fact that if you have a wreck it's 10 times more likely to be serious). My roomate's dad was not convinceable so he got a job and got a bike and got a student loan to cover both school and the bike. His dad has now decided to help pay for school again once he realized that the person he was helping was actually an adult who had to make choices for himself and that trying to take away school (which nobody really wants to do anyway) as punishment for doing something "fun" was a pretty dumb idea in the first place. It'd be like when you were younger your mom saying, well if you go play with your friends, then I'm not going to make you do your homework (wtf!)?!?

peterman · #6 Unread post by **peterman** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 12:07 pm

just tell her that if she won't do this for you then you won't driver her around when they take away her lisence. I would use this as a last resort and maybe even a bluff. Knowing moms though they like to call your bluffs even when you aren't bluffing.

ask her if you can get a scooter and if she likes that idea better then just get a motorcycle and tell her its a big scooter.

oldnslo · #7 Unread post by **oldnslo** » Mon Oct 17, 2005 1:28 pm

This is extremely harsh, but since Mom is blackmailing you by witholding tuition support, ask her if she ever wants to see her grandchildren when you and your future spouse produce them.

Ninja Geoff · Mon Oct 17, 2005 4:50 pm

Or... Just don't tell her. What momma don't know...

300zxer · #9 Unread post by **300zxer** » Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:30 am

oldnslo wrote:This is extremely harsh, but since Mom is blackmailing you by witholding tuition support, ask her if she ever wants to see her grandchildren when you and your future spouse produce them.

haha
all of your replies were good... I'll try to convince her, then play some emotional game and sooner or later buy one... what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Tue Oct 18, 2005 6:54 am

Don't give up but don't nag her either.

Arm yourself for a reasonable discussion: emphasize your training, the importance of proper gear, continued education (yours) through reading m-c books and websites, further training as warranted like lots of parking lot practices of the msf skills & more experienced rider courses later on, get familiar with some stats and your responses to them (make your responses positive/good ones), explain the diff between the bike you are considering (that's being respon already!) and the power of the ones you are not looking to get as a first bike, get other stats of a person's higher likelihood of getting injured/killed doing (find other stuff) versus m-cycling. Keep the discussion level-headed and if it looks to start getting off-track & emotional, put it aside for later.

Also, do you drive and have you been responsible as a car driver over the time you have been licensed? Point that out if it is in your favor. In fact, point out anything that has shown her that you have been a respon person in the past. Also point out that for many, m-cycling has made them into better, more attentive drivers. Do you know other m-cyclist friends and are they respon people that she knows? Get them on board. Hopefully too, some of her negativity isn't a result of her being mad at your dad for doing this with you or getting you into this.

Many people that are negative are usually not motorcyclists themselves and don't know squat about them except for what they hear from other non-riders or media stories (usually accidents only). I assume this is the "everyone you know" group you've been talking to. Get used to that - it'll never end even long after you've been riding for years.

You are being responsible already by letting her know what you are planning, after all, you could have just gone ahead & got a bike and not said anything.

Good luck & if all else fails....what she doesn't know....

(She should not be blackmailing you anyways.)