Total Motorcycle Community Forums

What kind of guitar is sitting there?

Have you thought about volunteering your time? One of the best things that I did when I was a teenager was volunteer at a soup kitchen, and volunteer to help out the elderly. Its hard to have an appreciation for your life if you don't know a different life, and volunteering can help you achieve that.

Who cares if you aren't awesome at martial arts or guitar? You don't get that way by wishing you were, you get that way through lots and lots of hard practice. Do you belong to a dojo? If so, why aren't you heading over there when you have free time to work on your moves? Why not get some guitar lessons if you feel stalled out on your own? I used to play guitar, and when I would plateau for longer than I was comfortable with, I'd sign up for lessons again to get someone to help me move forward.

You're 24 now, so even though you may be upset with your parents for not allowing you to do things when you were younger - dwelling on it doesn't help you. At some point you're going to have to get over what happened when you were a kid.

Do you read much? I moved a lot as a kid (we're looking for a house and when we move there, that will make my 25th move). As a result, I didn't always have friends for a period of time while I had to adjust to the new place and figure out how to make friends with them. Fortunately, because I loved reading as much as I do, I didn't really give a damn when I didn't have friends because I had something to do - read. And if you want to talk about expanding or blowing your mind, there are a lot of amazing books out there.

People telling you to quit whining may sound harsh, but really it's the conversation we have to have with ourselves all of the time. I hate getting up in the morning and struggle quite severely with it. But I have to kick myself in the "O Ring" to get out of bed every day - not because I dread life, but because I hate waking up. Heh. But whining about that to people won't get me anywhere. Feeling sorry for myself because I haven't set any goals for myself won't do me any good either.

What I'm hearing from you most of all is that you feel directionless. This is very common when you're in your 20s. The thing is, your whole life up until you hit college or so, people are setting goals for you. Go to school, keep your grades up, do your chores, blahblahblah. Now that you're an adult, the only person who will set your goals for you is you. If you want to pick up a skill, that's up to you to do it.

I did not go to college and instead self-taught myself computer crap from the time I was 13. I'm still in that field now making a lot of money. Plenty of people I work with also self-taught themselves.

JC Viper wrote: My freakin' guitar is just sitting here and I can't play it because I'm so damn lame at it......

Hey, I'm sympathetic to your plight, but this line is the one that struck me as odd. If you've got nothing but time, pick it up and play the damned thing. Stuck on the farm, as a kid, with parents who wouldn't haul me to sports, I spent a LOT of time (3 hours a day) learning to play the f'n thing. Sports, mechanics, life........none of it comes easy. If your lame at it now, you're bored, and you've got nothing but time, give it the effort. Show up for jam sessions as the crappiest player there and learn from the other players. Get good at it (time and effort). Get in a band. Meet girls (they love that stuff). Make friends because of the music. It worked for me and 23 years later I still have the same friends. It took a lot of effort in the beginning but if you are bored and have got the time on your hands, make it happen. You may never be the best guitar player (I never was) but anyone can get good enough to be able to fit in with a group of guys who are equally "good enough", to get gigs and have a lot of fun. This all will take time and effort and if you are looking for something easy to happen in a few weeks, you are going to be disappointed.

Other words of advice: If you suck at guitar, bass is easier, but not as fun to play by yourself. For this reason there are not many bass players and a decent one can gig with a different band every weekend.

Being broke in your 20s with no commitments is something that looks mighty appealling to some of the older people on the board. The grass is always greener, enjoy what you've been dealt and make the best of it.

Sounds to me like you have a lot going for you. I mean you arent bitching about not having enough food to eat, or a warm place to sleep. Stop cryassing and embrace life. Dont get me wrong...we all have times that we feel like poo... the thing is when you get over it, it is usually cuz you just quit cryassing and start doing something. It doesnt even matter what. DO SOMETHING.

And hey it will warm up soon....riding season is coming....we could all use a little road therapy about now.

Ok, I tried breaking into my parents place to steal the car so that they would call the cops on me last night. Turns out part of me can't go through with it.

Look, you missed the part about my parents making sure my sister gets a better life and are making up to my older brother. With me they told me I'm on my own.

Sure I've get to eat but for how long? I don't want to waste my youth just reading, studying and all that boring stuff. I wanted to start things younger so that I could be awesome at something at this age so that I wouldn't be such a gosh bore to be with.

1) I play and practice on my Ibanez RG350 (which I spent my UPS job money on) and I still sound like garbage. I've been doing this for years. At this point I can't even consider playing with people cause I just suck (like my dad tells me).

2. I attend all martial arts classes when possible, which in NYC costs quite a bit. No such things as "dojos" here and these places have closing times. I practice at home and I am able to maim but I'm not trained for competition nor am I fit to be a UFC fighter (skull fracture from age 10). Looks like I can't be a bad boy the girls want.

3. Studying, reading... I've been doing that for years on end and can speak for quite a bit on different things that range from history to computer programming and genetics. This has driven me insane, I bore people and being educated means nothing without experience so no jobs.

4. Photography, oohh that'll impress people. Filmography... it works best when you have friends who are on board. Friends being the prerequisite.

Like I said, other people have it worse but I'm still alive and so far I see nothing but problems in my future despite putting my best efforts. Rejection from the military sucks "O Ring". I want to go out with friends, I need to be social again but I getting blown off is all I experience.

I've been riding, I've been working on my bike and the junker of a car my bro said I can have if I fix it. He's the only family I've got.

I'd rather be in jail at this point. Or if there's a god then some poor cancer patient can switch places with me. I always felt useless people should be killed off and I would be a hypocrite to go on living but I want to die honorably so suicide is a no go. It's clear that I brought no joy to my parents, or to people I've interacted with, I haven't solved anyone's problem, I can't help anyone. And yes, I've been trying to build myself a better life for years, no , no and no. I went from wanting to push the enveloped to licking them and mailing it.

I got a Rally License and no rally car, how much lamer can I get?

JC....you need to go to your doctor and ask he or she to get you some mental health help.
A psychiatrist or psychologist or even a counselor......

We are not doctors here on this site.....go get some professional help.

You need it. It sounds like you have clinical depression. There is help for that.

well I'll add mt two cents now.


Counselors are a waste of time and money, with your problems you really need to see psychologist or psychiatrist. About all a counselor will do is refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist then charge you $100 for the referal. (your Doctor or Priest can do this too and many Mental Health Pros will take patients w/o a referal)

This attitude of snap out of it and kick yourself in the arse to get going will work with a lazy fvck (DO NOT CONFUSE CLINICAL or MAJOR DEPRESSION WITH LAZINESS) but when you use that idea for depression and it doesn't work you just get more depressed, spiraling further down the worm hole like Alice in Wonderland.

Many of the suggestions in other posts may help, but are no substitute for Professional help. I have a few comments:

Church or Synagog - very good idea, aside from the spirtual aspect this may also give you somewhat of a social network as well as since of belonging, contacts made with other members of the congregation can be very helpful in other ways also.

Reading- It helps to read, not study but read something that is enjoyable, something that will let you have a temporary escape from your problems. (I prefer Sci-FI, but the key is what YOU like be it Sci-Fi, Horror Poetry or whatever) Reading a good book seems to cheer my up more than watching a movie or TV.

Find a group or club that is into the same things you like. (riding group, chess club...etc)

Get a hobby.

Get out of your house and DO SOMETHING (with depression it sometimes feels that there is a invisable wall keeping you locked inside) It may be better to do things with friends but even if alone get out and do something. DO NOT SIT & WALLOW IN YOUR DEPRESSION! (this only makes it worse) Go for a bike ride, test ride a new bike, go camping, go fishing, go hunting (I went last week & never took rifle out of scabbard but enjoyed the hell out of just being in the mountains), go for a hike -- GET OFF THE COMPUTER & OUT OF THE CITY FOR A FEW DAYS or even just an afternoon.

Help others- nothing makes one feel better about themselves than helping someone else.

Don't be alone- If you don't have any friends or a GF (even if you do) get a dog, cat, bird or even some fish.

Music- your not a professional musician, play your guitar for your own fun. (I haven't taken piano lessons since I was in 6th grade and I am now in my 40s, I still enjoy playing but really suck at it)

Think of the things to do in or around NYC, try something new. (I've never been there but) And NYC has public transportation (Having access to Public transportation would be great, I have only ridden a public city bus twice in my life and never a subway or monorail)

Museums
Concerts
Plays
Conney Island
Ellis Island
Long Island
Empire State Bld.
Zoos
Mars 2112
Subways
Apollo
Catskills
Lake Champlain
the Village
Sports (watch a game)
Food (any thing you want is there)
Casinos in Atlantic City


and like others have said if you feel the need to talk send a PM

JC, sent you a pm