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You could wear a beard net like kitchen workers do or you could take a look at what the East Indian bearded men have on their beards.

Cant believe this actually a topic!!!!!!! Ok here I go...

1. Shove it all in your mouth and hold it there until you get where your going.

2. Tape it to your neck.
3. Dreads
4. Chin strap?
5. Glue it to a barbies head (while still attached to your chin) so it looks like her hair.
6. Lead fishing weights.
7. Hair gel or hair spray it in place.
8. Braid it to your chest hair. ( might cause a range of motion issue depending on how long chest hair is )
9. Have woman passenger sit behind you and hold it for you while your riding.. *or guy whatever your into*
10. Frabricate a chin faring to deflect the wind around your chin and neck!!!

Get a haircut and get a real job?
Naawww, didn't work for George Thorogood either....

Or join up with ZZ Top and have one of them fine, fine ladies they seem to always have to hand hold it down for you.

This isn't the funny farm but this whole topic reminds me of this joke:

There were two flea friends that decided to go to Bike Week at Daytona. The first flea got there early and was lounging on the beach when the second flea got there. The second flea was sniffling, sneezing and really sick. The first flea asks him why he is so sick. The second flea says, "I caught a ride in a biker's mustache on the way here. It was freezing, sleeting and snowing." The first flea say, "Next year, do what I do. I go to a college dorm, crawl up the leg of a beautiful woman and catch a ride in her hair." So next year the first flea again arrives early. The second flea arrives later and he is sick again - this year even worse. The first flea asks, "Why didn't you try what I told you to do last year?" The second flea says, "I DID - I crawled up a beautiful woman's leg and was quietly waiting in her hair. The next thing I know, I was riding down the road in a biker's mustache again.