When the wife says "NO" ??

[sapaul]

You could also tell her how much you would like her to be involved in your motorcycling, she could ride pillion with you, wash the bike, grease the chain, plan the trips, buy the gas and just leave you to do the driving.

[PhilD9er]

There's no winning the argument, bro. Motorcycles are dangerous. So, you have to buy a bike, and put her on the back of it. She will be converted in 2 minutes.

Then get her a bike, and ride together. There's no argument that will do.Just ride. Sure, it's f'ing dangerous. So is life.

[brbolin]

My wife was the same way when I first mentioned it to her. She then thought I was just joking about wanting one. Once she saw how serious and devoted I was to it, she got behind me on it. Granted, I haven't actually bought my bike yet (hopefully this week), but she's 98% behind me on it. No matter what I do, there will always be that little 2% that's not going to be there.
Anyway, I bought a couple of books, went to dealerships and told her I wanted to sign up for the class. Once she knew I was willing to take the class (only $75 here, so it wasn't too big of a deal) to "learn" the basics, she told me she was behind me. Once I get one, I hope she's LITERALLY behind me...once I get comfortable enough to have a passenger.
Oh, also...once I finally managed to get my wife into a dealership, her guard went down, too. Once she saw how beautiful the "right bike" was, she was sold.
All I can say is, show her how devoted you are to it, read all you can, take the MSF if you can (even if you've ridden in the past!), and include her in all of your decisions on it. I don't recommend, myself, the "buy it then "surprise" her" option. Granted...if you're like our pastor, you'll only be in the dog house three days, but you never know. That's a chance I wouldn't be willing to take.

[Spiff]

Hell , ya got just as much chance of dying in your own bed . Of course dying in my sleep is my preferential choice

Yeah, dying in bed is my preferred way to go, too.

Mind you, it won't be while I'm sleeping!

[Lion_Lady]

You'll do the most to win her over by showing how serious you are about learning to ride. Take it slow, let her tell you what she is most worried about. Don't beat her with the auto wreck statistics. The simple fact is you are more at risk on a motorcycle than in a car. Period.

You have to show her that you'll be doing everything in your power to stay as safe as possible. Sign up for the MSF course and keep her involved in the learning process. Start out on something a bit smaller (USED?) than your perceived 'ideal' while you get your legs. You've got to build up her trust in your concern for being safe. She'll still worry, but it should make it easier.

You'll do more damage to your relationship than you can know by just 'telling her' you're going to do this and disregarding her concerns.

P

[cb360]

Make a deal with her and tell her that you plan to get professsional training (msf) and that you'll gear up EVERY time you get on the bike with boots, gloves, long pants, leather jacket and full-face helmet. It has been statistically proven by the Hurt Report that riders who get training and wear the proper gear have a better chance of avoiding accidents and coming out of accidents in better shape than those who don't get training and wear the proper gear. It's still more dangerous than a car but you CAn mitigate that danger.

[cb360]

Trouble is, the wife says NO WAY. I treasure my marriage above all and would never buy one without her buy-in.

Just tell her you already have a mother. You're a grown man and as long as you're not breaking any marriage vows you're good to go. All she's doing is promoting resentment and animosity.

That sounds good in theory, but in reality... it doesn't really work that way in many marriages. At least in my house "I've already got a mother" wouldn't really pass as an effective debating tool for allotment of family resources and time budgeting. My wife was against it too until I took her to Thailand and she got the bug herself by riding around a tiny island on a little scooter.

[Robkhb]

Or just do what I did: Talk about motorcycles every day, buy motorcycle magazines, watch motorcycles on tv and just generally annoy the crap out of her until she gives in because she is just so tired of hearing about it.

[Kal]

I think I can safely say for the overwhelming majority of us on here that a passion for Motorbikes are part of who we are, regardless of other differences.

The exact way you do it will come down to how your relationship works and of course everyones relationship is different but I suggest you tell her you love her, take the courses, buy the gear and show her you are taking the risks seriously.

She may not want to attend the MSF course, but take her with you so she can watch and when you get off the training bike grin like a 5 year old in a sweetshop and give her the biggest hug of your married life.

She may never be happy with your choice to ride but she loves you so she should eventually come to terms with it.

Maybe I'm still young enough to be dumb but I strongely believe that a shorter packed life is preferable to a long boring one.

Actually, I know I'm still young enough to be dumb. I'm in the 'When I go I want to go far and wide, leave a smear' camp. Hopefully not until after my son is grownup though

[ZooTech]

That sounds good in theory, but in reality... it doesn't really work that way in many marriages. At least in my house "I've already got a mother" wouldn't really pass as an effective debating tool for allotment of family resources and time budgeting. My wife was against it too until I took her to Thailand and she got the bug herself by riding around a tiny island on a little scooter.

He's an adult, he probably works (if he doesn't that's another story entirely), and while there is definitely a certain amount of accountability to one's spouse to bear in mind, as long as he's taking care of his business I see no reason to let her stand in the way. He's not asking for a night on the town with the hot new secretary at work, he's simply showing an interest in riding motorcycles. If she can't be supportive and understanding then that's a sore spot waiting to happen. As a married guy, he owes a certain amount of himself to the union he shares with his wife...but he's also an individual, and she can either get her own bike, pillion with him, or do her own thing while he's out riding.