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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:06 am
by totalmotorcycle
I love a good newfie joke. They are the nicest people and really don't mind the jokes as they smile and laugh about it...
I'm a small part Newfie myself.
Mike.
Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:49 pm
by Kal
Interestingly they are all jokes I've heard made about the Irish...
Paddy & Murphy get an Aer Ligus flight to New York to see some relatives. An hour into the flight the Captain comes on to the intercom.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are experiencing some technical problems with one of the port engines. There is nothing to be concerned about, this model Airbus was designed to fly on only 3 engines but will be arriving at JFK a hour behind schedule. The air hostesses will be supplying complimentry drinks with our apologies."
Paddy and Murphy chink their glasses and settle in for a nap. A little while later the Captain is again making an annoucement.
"Ahem Ladies and Gentlemen we have had to cut one of the starboard engines to trim the plane. There is nothing to worry about but we will be two hours late into JFK. Please accept another drink with our compliments."
Paddy tells Murphy how he didn't want to see one of his nephews anyway while the hostess refills his glass. It dos't last long before a very harrassed sounding Captain is back on the intercom.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just shut down the second port engine. We will be arriving at JFK roughly 5 hours behind schedule"
Murphy turns to Paddy and gesturing at the final engine says "Jeez Paddy, if tha one shuts down it'll be quicker to walk"
On the subject of Canadian jokes, I have a Canadian colleague who came out with
Two guys went to the fights last night and were shocked when Hocky broke out.
and finally
God is putting the finishing touches to the world. St Pete ambles up and say's "Hey God, whatcha doing?"
God explains that he is planning a country. It will be vast with incredible natural resources. It will be land that is truely god's country with majestic views and deeply spiritual places. He will people this land with the nicest people he can find who will be deeply respected and be reknown as being the politest nation on earth. God explains that he will call this country Canada.
St Pete agrees that is truely a magnificent plan but has some misgivings. "God truely this land looks beautiful and its people seem blessed, but maybe they are too blessed should Canada not have a downside?"
"Ah Peter" say's God "you should see who I am giving them as neighbours."
Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:58 pm
by Ninja Geoff
Kal wrote:"Ah Peter" say's God "you should see who I am giving them as neighbours."
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Why don't the English build computers?
They can't figure out how to make them leak oil!
Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:08 pm
by Sev
GeoffXR200R wrote:Kal wrote:"Ah Peter" say's God "you should see who I am giving them as neighbours."
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Why don't the English build computers?
They can't figure out how to make them leak oil!
That's AWSOME!
Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 8:22 pm
by jmillheiser
Bah oil leakage, who needs that.
Just stuff a Lucas electrical system in that computer, even better than leaking oil.
Ask any old britbike, british car, or land rover owner about the prince of darkness.
Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:28 pm
by Wizzard
jmillheiser wrote:Bah oil leakage, who needs that.
Just stuff a Lucas electrical system in that computer, even better than leaking oil.
Ask any old britbike, british car, or land rover owner about the prince of darkness.
That is so true . Funny thing is that I thought the same thing when I read this for the first time .
Regards , Wizzard
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 3:23 pm
by Kal
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:33 pm
by Ninja Geoff
touché
Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:36 pm
by blues2cruise
A Newfie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a
diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and
repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should
have lost at least 5 pounds." When the Newfie returned, he shocked the
doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS! "Why, that's amazing!" the
doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The Newfie
nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jumpins', I t'aut I were going to
drop dead dat 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skippin' !!!!!"
haha
Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:22 am
by biker_rach
jmillheiser wrote:I take it there is supposed to be some type of local "dialect" spoken in Newfoundland? Kinda like people from Ontario ending every sentence with, eh?
hahaha wow, I didnt know that all of canada was summed up by ontario now. Crazy, eh?
Newfies are just about the nicest people you will ever meet and the best thing about Newfie jokes is that most of them are made up by Newfies. They have a good sense of humour and arent too proud to poke fun at themselves. I love newfies and the maritimes, eh