Total Motorcycle Community Forums

Dude.

Im kinda missin ole noodle, ish hed post up something.

Enh...I'm all right, in a four-wheeled way, I guess.

Blah.

I feel kind of weird posting on a motorcycle forum when I quite frankly am not going to be riding a motorcycle for the second year running. It really sucks. Honest and for true, I feel a little pang each and every time I see someone on a bike this summer.

Y'all see I've changed my avatar...THAT's what I am this year, a friggin' minivan daddy. Uck. If there's a bright side to it, at least I get my wife's car now that she's got the Grand Crapavan. (her name for it...I can't really get behind it.)

A Volvo.

Yeah, the collective gasp from all motorcyclists everywhere...I heardja. "OhGodAVolvoCageOvlovHeadStuckUpTheirButtCagerCagerSlowAssedSafetyPigMoron!" I know. Maybe this is pathetic on my part, but the car has a sunroof, and I crank open that roof and all 4 windows each and every time I drive, unless it's raining. I'm trying to get a LITTLE of the old feeling I get when I ride...all chilly and damp and inhaling all the roadside smells.

Yeah, I fail miserably, but I tell myself otherwise.

So...I'm around. Not too often, and I don't have that much to say anymore, but I'm around.

Well, good to hear from ya.
Who knows..........................

Bike for Sale....Cheap

No, not mine. The "new guy" at work dumped his bike a couple of weeks ago. I guess he was on the highway between Kalkaska and Traverse City (sure, I could have said 'between Kookamuuger and Teenarga City' but I used the real city names, even though y'all won't really know the difference) when the car in front of him slammed on their brakes...he locked up his brakes, slid his bike, high-sided and got spit over the bike. I guess he almost got run over by the car behind him.

So, he showed up at work with bandages on both forearms, limping around like he had a splinted leg, with one hand really swollen. He said he landed on forearms and knees, slid, rolled, etc. He e-mailed around a couple of pictures of the road rash...yucky. I guess since it was hot, he'd traded his leather jacket for a t-shirt and leather vest. I asked him at lunch (as he was having someone else open his Coke) if he was getting back into riding.

"Naw. That's enough for me. I'm out," he said.

I dunno. I wrecked my bike when I was 23, and I never had a single hesitation about rebuilding the bike and riding it again. Of course, I didn't have any kids and Greg (probably not his real name, as far as you know) has four daughters. Could influence a decision. I also don't know if "Greg" has been riding forever or if he just got a good job, got a bike and decided to ride in summer vacationer traffic.

At least now, a coupla weeks later, he's beginning to walk like a normal person again.

we need noodle. noodle is good noodle is wiiise.

For those poor, deluded souls...

...who think Noodle The Four-Wheeled is good, wise, and or other flattery things. I offer observations.

Bacon is the perfect food. It's good hot. It's good cold. It's good with eggs at breakfast. It's good on a sandwich for lunch. It's good on pizza, in chicken or around steak for dinner. It's good all by itself. It's good in salad. You can crumble it up and put it on anything to make it better. You can save the drippings from bacon, cook other food in it, and make THAT food taste better. It's perfect.

Tourists can't drive for poop. I live in Touristville, and they're all here. There's as many license plates from Ohio and Illinois as there are from Michigan. Yesterday, I was behind someone who actually put on their left blinker...then turned right. I thought that was just something that people made up to one-up someone. A half-mile before them, some dips#it in a Navigator pulled a Yooey (U'ey?) right in front of me, and barked their tires getting out of the way on the shoulder before I flashed by at sixty per.

Porsche...The Common Exotic Car. I see a Porsche every single day. Not the same one, either. Today I saw two -- When I was walking from the parking lot into work, a black Boxter drove past me. On my way home I saw a Cayenne. For a car with performance to match a Lamborghini Murcielago or a Ferrari F430, a Porsche 911 is a raging bargain, and a non-exotic exotic. $80k for a mass-produced Porsche, or $200k+ for an Italian wonder that I swear is bred hydroponically in a black warehouse or something?

Oh, and it's pronounced "Porsh-uh," not "Portch." Two syllables. It's German. Yeah, they pronounce things weird. F'rinstance, "Germany" in German, is pronounced "Deutschland." (I guess the "G" is silent.") "Deutschland," in turn, is pronounced "Doytch-land." Go figure. They invented sauerbraten -- perfectly good pot-roast with mustard and vinegar dumped all over it. 'nuff said.

I want something brutal. I realized it today on my way home. I want to drive something, whether it's a car, truck or motorcycle, that can only be described by the word brutal. Dodge Tomahawk brutal. Supercharged SVT Cobra R brutal. Calloway Corvette brutal. Yamaha V-Max brutal. Kawasaki ZX-14 brutal. Subaru Impreza WRX STi Spec-B brutal. I want the acceleration to hit like a sledgehammer wrapped in other, smaller sledgehammers that are, in turn, covered with broken glass. I don't want "silky." I don't want "sublime." I don't want "entertaining." I want brutal. I want to open the throttle and get slammed into my seat. I want to downshift and feel like I lit an afterburner. I want all the bumps to jiggle my fillings loose, and I want my glasses to fly off my face when I smash the brakes. Forget civility, forget compromise. Give me performance. Screw the upholstery, radios, power windows, sound deadening -- all fru-fru. I'd drive an FIA WRC rally car to work if I could -- they're street legal in Europe after all.

That's all.

HAHAHA you think YOU live in touristsville??? Come to Colorado Springs, Colorado for a little... Right at the base of America's Mountain, and the Air Force Academy, not to mention 3 military bases... Anything else I have to say???
And as for the brutal, I could try convincing my uncle to let you drive his Shelby Cobra GT500, you know, the 07 convertible version? hehe, Trust me, it's a LOT of fun to drive... He let me take the wheel for a short bit... and wow...
Wrider

Ah Noodle, please keep writing - love your thoughts

Family Sucks. Hers More Than Mine.

Yeah, time to blow out some cr@p about the in-laws. First, my wife's grandma. About two weeks ago we found out that my mother in law took grandma to the ER for chest pains and numb legs. After a couple of hours there, it turns out she had pneumonia, and they shuffled her up to the ICU for a day or two. They say if she hadn't been brought in, she wouldn't have lived through the night. So, like I said, they put her into Intensive Care, but only for about two days, then they moved her into a regular hospital room, then within three days of being admitted...they sent her home. And there she sits. They discontinued some of her meds, and when her newly acquired home-health nurse started asking where they were, and started being told that they'd been stopped, she asked,

"So, did they send her home to die?"

Gad. Did the hospital (where I happen to work as a computer nerd) send her home because she's 87 years old, on a fixed income, and part of a family of trailer trash? (sorry, but that part's soo true) Worse yet, did they do that and NOT TELL ANYONE? She just sits in her chair now, and her kids claim to be rotating the duty of staying with her on a weekly basis. Yeah, letting her five kids decide what to do is like leaving the decision to four ar-tards and a normal guy.

Next in the ongoing saga of the trailer-bound inlaws...my wife's cousin's dog got hit by a car. In front of all of them. In front of his 4 year old son. Sounds like the "adults" were out in the yard smoking cigarettes, the boy opened the front door of the house, the dog came streaking out, across the yard straight into the road where he got pile-driven by some guy doing at least 60. He flew into the air OVER the car, landed on the road and bounced three times. They guy never stopped or slowed down. The cousin chewed his kid a new @$$hole and made him feel responsible for the whole thing, and the dog has a completely pulverized front leg which is already infected.

Yeah, so far, so sad. But it gets worse. They can a) have the dog put down, or b) have the leg amputated or c) have the leg fixed. If they have the leg amputated the infection will be stopped, the dog will heal and be pain free, and will only need a week or so of antibiotics. If they have the leg fixed, though, it'll cost upward of $4,000, will require months of antibiotics, and if the dog even survives the surgery will be in pain for the rest of its life and need painkillers for the duration.

They're going with option c) Why? Because "Blakey" (the kid) will feel "guilty" if the dog only has three legs. Even if the four-legged dog spends the rest of its life limping around in a drugged, pain-hazed stupor. Buncha f$%king mo-tards they are. ( moron-re.tard...motard)

There. Wish it made me feel better to vent like this but truthfully...they're still there and nothing short of a Molotov cocktail is going to really solve my problems with my in-laws.


Umm... ameliorating image for y'all: Toddler with Pixie Stix. There.