Total Motorcycle Community Forums

blues2cruise wrote:Bitchin in Hitchin

The weather was nice
but he stayed inside.......

<<snerk!!!!>>

Did he see this? I think you should PM it to him, Blues!!

jstark47 wrote:

blues2cruise wrote:Bitchin in Hitchin

The weather was nice
but he stayed inside.......

<<snerk!!!!>>

Did he see this? I think you should PM it to him, Blues!!

Bitchin in Bed!
The true story of a lost afternoon.



My marrow has freeze-dried,
My blood has grown stale,
My hands are all trembly,
(My feet look so pale!)

My bones have grown weary,
My youth, it has fled -
Oh how much more cosy
To linger in bed:

To linger, and wonder
What langours I missed
In my days of hard riding
And nights getting pissed.



But something is calling,
Oh what can it be?
The smells of burnt fossils
Are calling to me!

Hot odours of rubber,
Sensations of speed
Ah, they're fuelling the fires
Of that cruel inner need.



But it's five above freezing!
That's right! - only five!
If it drops down to zero
I might not survive.

And besides I am ailing -
Even Di would admit
That my frail life's now dangling
Above the foul pit.



Still! My eyes aren’t too bloodshot;
And my guts feel... alive
(Could it be just a head-cold?)
Perhaps I’ll survive!

If I jumped in my leathers
And jammed on my lid
Do you think I’d feel macho?
Yay! I'd feel like a kid.

I’ll bloody well thrash it
The bed bugs can wait.

Wha…t!!! It’s dark and turned frosty
It’s bloody too late!


Arse!

jstark47 wrote:

blues2cruise wrote:Bitchin in Hitchin

The weather was nice
but he stayed inside.......

<<snerk!!!!>>

Did he see this? I think you should PM it to him, Blues!!

No need to....he saw it and responded.

sv-wolf wrote:

jstark47 wrote:

blues2cruise wrote:Bitchin in Hitchin

The weather was nice
but he stayed inside.......

<<snerk!!!!>>

Did he see this? I think you should PM it to him, Blues!!

Bitchin in Bed!
The true story of a lost afternoon.



My marrow has freeze-dried,
My blood has grown stale,
My hands are a-tremble,
(My feet look so pale!)

My bones have grown weary,
My youth, it has fled -
Oh how much more cosy
To linger in bed:

To linger, and wonder
What langours I missed
In my days of hard riding
And nights getting pissed.



But something is calling,
Oh what can it be?
The smells of burnt fossils
Are calling to me!

Hot odours of rubber,
Sensations of speed
Ah, they're fuelling the fires
Of that cruel inner need.



But it's five above freezing!
That's right! - only five!
If it drops down to zero
I might not survive.

And besides I am ailing -
Even Di would admit
That my frail life's now dangling
Above the foul pit.



Still! My eyes aren’t too bloodshot;
And my guts feel... alive
(Could it be just a head-cold?)
Perhaps I’ll survive!

If I jumped in my leathers
And jammed on my lid
Do you think I’d feel macho?
Yay! I'd feel like a kid.

I’ll bloody well thrash it
The bed bugs can wait.

Wha…t!!! It’s dark and turned frosty
It’s bloody too late!


Arse!

eat, work, poop, work, sleep

Tennif Shoe wrote:eat, work, poop, work, sleep

So glad you mentioned the 'poop', Tennif. I've got to that stage in life where you start to worry about people's bowel movements.

Sheesh!



( )

sv-wolf wrote:

Tennif Shoe wrote:eat, work, poop, work, sleep

So glad you mentioned the 'poop', Tennif. I've got to that stage in life where you start to worry about people's bowel movements.

Sheesh!



( )

the topic is what i did today just being honest

sv-wolf wrote:

Tennif Shoe wrote:eat, work, poop, work, sleep

So glad you mentioned the 'poop', Tennif. I've got to that stage in life where you start to worry about people's bowel movements.

Sheesh!



( )

Reminds me of the story of the 3 old fellows sitting in a retirement home discussing various bodily functions that don't work as well as they did when they were young.

The 1st gent was lamenring about his inability to have a good pee anymore. "When I was a young man" he lamented, " I could pee a stream so strong and hard, I could put out a raging campfire, but now the best I can do is dribble out a few squirts and they usually end up on my shoes due to a lack of pressure. I'd dearly love to to be to pee again like I did in my youth."

The 2nd gent piped up "Hah, a weak stream of "pee" is nothing, try dealing with weak and irregular bowel movements mixed in with consistent constipation. When I was a young man, my bowel movements were so regular, the local train station manager could set his clocks by them, and one good poop and I was good for the day. Now however, I am so irregular and constipated that I feel bloated as a beached whale, and lets not talk about the cramping. And when I do go, the best I can pass looks like rabbit pellets even after straining and grunting for what feels like hours. I would cheerfully kill anyone for one good bowel movement."

The 3rd gent after listening to the first two jumped in. "you know, I have no problems at all with either peeing or pooping. In fact it's quite the opposite. At 6AM on the nose, I have a good long pee that empties my bladder completely and at 7AM without fail, I have a bowel movement that cleans me completely."

After the first two gents finished calling him a lucky bas tard and other less kind and gentle names, he continued on, "Yes, I've no problems in those regards, however I just wish I could wake up before 8AM. Seems no matter what time I go to bed, I always wake up at 8:15AM on the nose."


And what did I do today? Nothing much except mark another day off my calender, counting down the days left till they remove this boat anchor wrapped around my arm. 10 days to go.

ceemes wrote: Nothing much except mark another day off my calender, counting down the days left till they remove this boat anchor wrapped around my arm. 10 days to go.

Then you get to deal with one weak arm that smells funny and looks smaller then the other. Pale too. Peeling skin. All kinds of good stuff like that. Dont try to use it too much at first either, it'll be sore. Did I mention the funky smell? Well...goodnight Ceemes.

fireguzzi wrote:

ceemes wrote: Nothing much except mark another day off my calender, counting down the days left till they remove this boat anchor wrapped around my arm. 10 days to go.

Then you get to deal with one weak arm that smells funny and looks smaller then the other. Pale too. Peeling skin. All kinds of good stuff like that. Dont try to use it too much at first either, it'll be sore. Did I mention the funky smell? Well...goodnight Ceemes.

Just get some Axe and spray, they seem to get rid of a lot of my funky smells (like the one from a wound on my finger once I removed the band aid after 3 days).