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mgdavis wrote:Hmmm, amazing what I've learned about myself. Apparently I have some sort of deep-seated mommy issues.
.....

And I'm a man-mean.

Or as I like to term it... male.

Shorts wrote:

Loonette wrote:

Shorts wrote:...I hate seeing it too - women doing their thing in public. Whether they are covered up or not, it's still uncomfortable.

Doing her thing?! Again... making it sound like she's squatting down and taking a dump on the floor in front of you. Do you become uncomfortable when a mom feeds her 6-month old baby food from a jar? It's just food - the best food for a baby. It could only make someone feel uncomfortable because they are either totally ignorant to the benefits of natural feeding or they have a sexual hangup. What a shame.

And if a dude is suffering from an Oedipal complex, then I would bet dollars to donuts that he was not breastfed.

lol Ignorant - tread lightly. I am a woman. I intend to breastfeed. I was breast fed. Have plenty of friends that breastfeed their babies - in front of me no less, in their homes. I am a health major. I'm pretty sure "ignorant" is a term that I am not.

Tread lightly? No thanks. And I said "either/or". So if you're not ignorant, then perhaps you have a sexual hangup. If you really think about it, what else could it be? And that's not a dig directly at you - it's exactly how western folk have been raised to think. We're all subject to it - some of us are trying to change those puritan ways of dealing with things like breastfeeding.

Shorts wrote:"Do her thing" is pretty much short and sweet phrase I use for any activity.

Nice try - this "activity" (breastfeeding and/or pumping) is one that you're classifying as something she should be ashamed to do in public. So short and sweet, you're not really meaning that breastfeeding is like "any" activity. If so, then you'd also expect her to go into hiding while playing a tennis game, or driving her car (or doing "any" activity).

Shorts wrote:If a woman does need to feed the baby when she's out, it's pretty considerate to go to a more private area - whether you expect someone to walk into an office foyer or not. For example, when out with friends with babies, it's easiest to walk into a clothing store and go sit in a dressing room stall. As per original post, they mom could have gone into the more private women's area.

Maybe the rest of society should just get over it and show some consideration for the mom. Again, I don't think a breastfeeding mom should have to hide away just because some people are uncomfortable. I personally don't think the entrance to an office is an ideal place to breastfeed or pump (simply because of the surprise factor), but I think it was pretty clear that there is such little volume at the OP's office on that day of the week that she must have assumed nobody would be coming through the door - probably had cozy chairs and whatnot. I can't say for sure - I wasn't there. And the original poster still hasn't mentioned what it was he meant by "Women's Lounge" - again, if he meant the toilet room, that's disgusting. Do you eat lunch in public bathrooms? (oh, and a lot of dressing rooms aren't much cleaner than a bathroom) And he did mention that she had her "business" covered, so it seems kind of immature and almost weird to me that he is so angry over this.

Good luck to you in your future breastfeeding endeavors - I can almost guarantee that your attitude will change once you're standing in those shoes. You're a go-getter, I've-got-rights kind of gal, and I can't imagine that, when your baby is crying out for food, and you're stuck somewhere in public, you'd pay too kindly to some stranger sending you looks of shame for feeding your child. (and in reality... most people are much happier that you take a step at quieting your child quickly as opposed to waiting until you find a hideaway)

Shorts wrote:

ceemes wrote:
Never could understand why people in North America freak out over the sight of a woman breast feeding her kid or using a pump to store excess milk in public. Then again, I never understood why people freak over human nudity to begin with.

Seem's only the human animal is ashamed of his/her natural state, nude or of their bodily functions.

Nudity. That's a pretty complex thing as far as the psychology goes - factors such as how one was raised, their life experiences with sexuality, religion, all that plays a role. I highly doubt any one of those conversations/threads would go well. So, probably best not to even go there.

Great thing about these forums though... we're all allowed to "go there" as long as we keep it civil. Anyone want to talk about routine (and totally unnecessary) infant male circumcision? I'll go there...

mgdavis wrote: I'm upset that this woman put me in a position of compromise through her choice of a non-private area to preform a, in my opinion, very private procedure. In todays litigious society this incident could have the potential to put me out of a job, if she were to decide that I took to long to figure out what was going on and get out.

I was upset because this is my place of work. She is an employee here. The womens employee lounge does, in fact, include chairs, table, lockers, etc. It includes a restroom, in a separate room. It is a clean, private, women-only area that would have been much more appropriate.

I didn't see this post before I made my previous post. It's a silly notion to think that this breastfeeding woman would take you to court for sexual harassment, much less to think that it would even stand up in any court of law. Have you ever seen a case such as this? Such paranoia.

And lounge or not - OK - apparently your place of work has a nice women's lounge, and as I said before, even I would have chosen a real lounge over the foyer, but considering it was Sunday, she must not have expected anyone to come in. Still, you're taking this to such extremes, especially with the whole "compromising position" scenario.

I don't think he is taking it to extremes. His position on the whole harassment thing is my take on the uncomfortable part as well. Unless you'd like to go into psycho-sexual therapy with me and we can find out...

The military stomps it into everyone(dependents, civilian personnel and AD), all the time about sexual harassment and how gray the area and how thin the line is. I know this, I work for AF Services, my husband is AD Navy. There is no messing around whatsoever. This goes for same gender or opposite gender. When the emphasis is put that heavy on a topic, it does spill into all areas day to day. Discomfort in those situations is not just a made up thing because someone "has issues". Those concerns that arise are the first warning, heed it.

Breast feeding in public is not really a goal I'm trying to achieve, like winning a race. Its not really on my mind or what I'm worried about. Just another thing that'll come up when its time. Until then, eh. Besides, its hard enough to keep the other two hands from pawing at me all the time. Like I said, I'm around breastfeeding mothers, friends of mine - not a problem. Hell I was in for child delivery and the days following, I saw a lot of, well, a lot. An unknown lady, breastfeeding in public is still uncomfortable. Refer to middle paragraph.


Can anyone say "Hank Hill"?

Whether you want to say that I have "hangups" or mommy issues, or what the h*ll ever, I don't care. I think that considering the fact that a mom is whipping out her sweater kittens, which is generally considered a private part of the body to be seen in PRIVATE, even if it's to feed the kiddo, this should still be considered something that should be taken care of in private.

An earlier poster mentioned that this is a natural act, part of the natural process of the human body, and thus, should not be considered unusual to be seen in public. Well, taking a dump and draining the lizard are both natural body processes, and you get ticketed or taken to jail for doing such things, now don't you? You are only doing something natural, rather than producing food, you are producing waste that must be expelled from the body otherwise you might get infections and die. How about we all just start dropping our pants and doing our business in the middle of lobbies.

I'm really kind of fed up with all of this cr*p about "oh it's a natural process, you must be a pervert with a deviant mind if you find it to be offensive." Get over yourselves, your baby can wait the couple of minutes until you get to someplace more private. You don't have to be ashamed of what you are doing (although, I have to say I find it kind of gross, but that's just me), but just be a little more considerate of those around you. H*ll, I go to the bathroom when I blow my nose and that's no more unnatural than this is.

A touchy subject isnt it? My wife breast fed our little guy, although never in a public area. The local mall had a "nursing room" which had some nice chairs, a lockable door and what not. But if a mother chooses to do breast feed in public, power to her. Just know that you will get a few looks, maybe some negative comments. But in the end, youre doing whats best for your child.

I personally wouldnt think it all that sexy, The little one latched on tends to take away any sense of sensuality. thats just me though.

They have the right to breast feed where they like, you have the right to look away if it bugs you.

NorthernPete wrote:A touchy subject isnt it? My wife breast fed our little guy, although never in a public area. The local mall had a "nursing room" which had some nice chairs, a lockable door and what not. But if a mother chooses to do breast feed in public, power to her. Just know that you will get a few looks, maybe some negative comments. But in the end, youre doing whats best for your child.

I personally wouldnt think it all that sexy, The little one latched on tends to take away any sense of sensuality. thats just me though.

They have the right to breast feed where they like, you have the right to look away if it bugs you.

And I (or others, rather) have the right to stare to their hearts content as well.

I think only in America and Arab nations where exposing body parts are taboo. Go figure, this is due to religious moral craptalk.

Europe and Asia seem to be fine with the watermellons and butt being exposed (watch some of their TV sometime)

Besides, what about National Geographic where animals are shown feeding their young through nursing, aren't we all animals anyway?

Though some folks actually like having moral values and a faith. Some think its crap, others embrace it and live rather happily.

But that's right, because you're against it, you'll put down and antagonize others who don't share your same view

I guess the fanatics have ruined things for your average person...religious freaks, feminists, PETA...I mean, really!

beardking wrote:I'm really kind of fed up with all of this cr*p about "oh it's a natural process, you must be a pervert with a deviant mind if you find it to be offensive." Get over yourselves, your baby can wait the couple of minutes until you get to someplace more private. You don't have to be ashamed of what you are doing (although, I have to say I find it kind of gross, but that's just me), but just be a little more considerate of those around you. H*ll, I go to the bathroom when I blow my nose and that's no more unnatural than this is.

I'm fed up with this "omg my eyes I'm offended at what I am choosing to look at!!" crap. Just because you choose to be offended doesn't mean other people should have to change their completely justified behavior. This also goes for things you can change the channel on or turn the station.

You walk in on someone, you're startled, they're startled, you both say "oh excuse me!" and you continue on with your daily lives. You don't have to keep looking beyond that. I don't see the problem with this. Producing food for a baby and then feeding said baby with food is a lot different than producing waste as a natural process. For some reason, eating in public is allowed. Expelling waste (thankfully) is not. If you have a problem with either, try and get some laws enacted.

I understand that seeing this can be uncomfortable. But I think most of us can stand to be a little uncomfortable for a few brief seconds when we're in public, vs the option of a mother being in pain and a child being hungry. I don't think that sexual harassment as the result of seeing this would really be an issue, though, unless you were acting like Buzz. If you're out in public..that's obviously not a worry. If this is happening in work - whether you're taking the opportunity to enjoy looking at boobies or not, Buzz, what you're proposing is creepy. But unless you're stopping what you're doing to stare/get close/grope/attempt to be fed yourself, there would be no cause for a case in what you have described. The laws here, anyway, are pretty clear about what needs to take place for a sexual harassment case to be taken seriously. It involves an issue, documentation/training/talking about said issue, then re-occurances of said bad behavior has to continue before anything goes anywhere. I have no idea how the military handles it..just what I've been trained on here (in MA).

I realize that there are real issues here but I can't resist...Quick someone save us from the boobies before they hurts us!!