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Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 1:58 am
by follow
blues2cruise, way to go.
So Bratcat....just ride, let him know it makes you feel good.
For me, it relaxes me after a long day of dealing with sick people, I sometimes ride to get things off of my chest and my Hubby knows this, so sometimes he goes with but sometimes he knows I just need my alone time.
Never feel bad, for feeling good.
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 6:33 am
by Triumphgirl
I have often rode alone. And I concure that time just passes you by. My husband has also scolded me as if I were a mere child. I gently and kindly remind him that I am a grown woman and have long since passed the age of having to explain myself or defend myself. Guess it depends on the man and the relationship.
You guys rock !!!!
Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:12 pm
by Bratcat
I would have never imagined the responses Ive gotten to my query, THANK YOU. The diferent opinions and points of views are impressive and it just goes to show that it pays to ask. I believe I have an appropriate solution. I am going to play "nice" my first inlclination was admittedly beligerent, but after reading everything thats been posted it made me realize that your ALL right. In my case I'll be using my phone more often and I will be more sensitive to hubby. He can't help being nervous and I can't help losing track of time when I'm out, what I can help, is being responsible to my family, because in the end it just wouldn't be any fun knowing that my actions or inactions have a negative effect on anyone. Mom told me once " that you have to choose your battles" I've never given the idea much thought until now.
again, Thank You
P.S.
Hey Blues,
Its cool.
Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 8:42 am
by Lion_Lady
So, bratcat. did you get hubby his own cell phone? (If so, the trick may be to make sure he CARRIES it damhik.)
P
Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:10 am
by Brackstone
Bratcat,
I think you made a good deceision. IMO with regards to marriage you pick and choose your battles. This, at least to me, would not seem like something to fight over.
Just remember if calling ruins your enjoyment of the ride then revisit the scenario and explain it to your husband.
IMO if you sort of give in to him for a bit in a month or two it'll probably blow over or he'll cut you some more slack.
As for the whole spat over a comment that was made? I think, in it's own way, it actually contributed to the Topic. If anything it further outlines the contrast between how people are different irregardless of sex.
Here on the great interwebs, and this forum in particular, we need to accept that our posts will be read by many different people. Even motorcycling can be divisive.
Let me summarize this by saying, you don't have to apologize for what you say, but you DO have to apologize if you hurt someones feelings when you said it.
Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:14 pm
by dean owens
i know it's a "slightly" old post but i'll throw something out there. and keep in mind that this is the internet and voice inflection doesn't come through at all. reading over my post i could read it in a really "angry" way. that is not my intent at all. just sharing.
my wife and i have had this sorta talk. i enjoy riding as much as the next guy/girl. and i love to just go for a cruise (when the dang thing is working). but i also realize that my wife can get worried if i give her a time or an estimation and completely blow it. for me it comes down to respect. when my wife and i got married things changed. we are now one. the things i do affect (or effect?) her. if i say i'll be home by 4:30 and don't show up until 6:00 without a call... to me that's disrespectful. she might have planned something for us... maybe to go out to eat. or maybe she's really needing me to get home and take care of the kids to give her a break. either way i've shown by being late that i really don't care what she thinks. i only care about myself having a good time. if something has come up, a simple phone call puts her mind at ease. my wife is not a worry wort. but as we know, we're not as safe on the two weeks as if we're in four. so she gets concerned if i haven't given her a heads up.
just saying... it doesn't have to be a non-trust factor. it doesn't have to be a control factor. it can be a concern factor. and when you're married the other persons feelings have to be considered. if not.... get ready for hard times ahead.
i'm glad you went the route of using technology to help put his mind at ease rather than telling him to get over it.
Posted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 3:11 pm
by blues2cruise
dean owens wrote:i know it's a "slightly" old post but i'll throw something out there. and keep in mind that this is the internet and voice inflection doesn't come through at all. reading over my post i could read it in a really "angry" way. that is not my intent at all. just sharing.
my wife and i have had this sorta talk. i enjoy riding as much as the next guy/girl. and i love to just go for a cruise (when the dang thing is working). but i also realize that my wife can get worried if i give her a time or an estimation and completely blow it. for me it comes down to respect. when my wife and i got married things changed. we are now one. the things i do affect (or effect?) her. if i say i'll be home by 4:30 and don't show up until 6:00 without a call... to me that's disrespectful. she might have planned something for us... maybe to go out to eat. or maybe she's really needing me to get home and take care of the kids to give her a break. either way i've shown by being late that i really don't care what she thinks. i only care about myself having a good time. if something has come up, a simple phone call puts her mind at ease. my wife is not a worry wort. but as we know, we're not as safe on the two weeks as if we're in four. so she gets concerned if i haven't given her a heads up.
just saying... it doesn't have to be a non-trust factor. it doesn't have to be a control factor. it can be a concern factor. and when you're married the other persons feelings have to be considered. if not.... get ready for hard times ahead.
i'm glad you went the route of using technology to help put his mind at ease rather than telling him to get over it.
You nailed it. I couldn't tell you hoe many dinners got ruined because of expecting someone home for supper and then they did show up or even call.
A simple phone call takes so little time and effort and yet prevents so much angst and upset.
Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 2:59 am
by dean owens
blues2cruise wrote:
You nailed it. I couldn't tell you hoe many dinners got ruined because of expecting someone home for supper and then they did show up or even call.
A simple phone call takes so little time and effort and yet prevents so much angst and upset.
well thank you. just call me dr. phil.
if only i could remember my own advice every time.
