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NorthernPete wrote:Id buy it...does the spray on sun come with warming features for -40?

I think the earlier versions of that would have the nasty side effect of instantaneous melanoma

Friday
Miles: 9,858
Mood:
Confession #82- I don't fear nature.

I spend alot of time on my commute studying traffic. It often gives me something to write about. Otherwise I would have run out of topics long ago and I would have to start showing pictures of nude cheerleaders instead. Change the name to Confessions of a Commuter to Fox Network. Then eat some slim covered dirt from a cowpie and ask you to vote on me. The prize being a cake full of bugs.

Apparently that's entertainment. Good luck, people.

I possibly left open my can of "November 8". The day was quite lovely. But as I was riding along, I realized something that I had never noticed before. No one has their window down. Its gorgeous, the temperature is perfect, the air is clear, and everyone is stuffed in their cars with the air conditioning on.

What?

Folks in my area complained last summer about their electric bills. Cooling their homes was costing them $500 a month in many cases. Hello! Ever think of opening a window and turning on a fan? Do you know what airflow is? Quit complaining about fuel (electric) prices rising and conserve. My bill was never more than $150, not because I own a smaller home or have solar panels on my roof, but because I don't lock down my house and crank the A/C at 70 degrees all freaking day. What do you expect, the government to give you a credit because poor you can't afford the products you waste?

Did anyone ever think as a child, "When I grow up, I want to have so much stuff that is actually owned by the bank but makes me look rich so that I can't even afford to pay for gas in my car because my budget is so tight and I'll have no choice but to complain to a nanny government to help me because I'll be too stupid to make good consumer choices." Not me. Nor my friend. Yet there he is in a Hummer. On the side of the road. With a plastic red gas can.

I once knew a couple that bought a $250,000 house, they owned an old SUV that they used exclusively to tow their financed boat with, a brand new Mercedes and a brand new Corvette. They were complaining pretty loud when gas prices hit $4.00 a gallon. Gee, I wonder why? I wouldn't be surprised if they lived in their SUV by now, because its the only thing they actually owned. Their monthly interest payments probably exceed my yearly income.

As I was saying, none of these people had their windows down. I wonder how many of them never even go outside? They get in their car in their garage, drive to work, park in the underground garage and take the elevator to some floor and sit in a cubical. If they have windows that is the extent of nature they will see during the day. Then they go home the same way.

I was watching my neighbors the other day with my trusty telescope...err, I mean, I glanced over at my neighbors house the other day and noticed that they come home, drive into their garage, and shut the door before they even get out of their car.

I'm going to take the initiative. Every morning I am going to walk out into my front yard and scream "hello world!", mutter printf() semi-colon, and then leave for work. Who's with me?

Monday
Miles: 9,878
Mood:
Confession #83- I think music is a scam.

So tomorrow sees the release of the new Zune, Microsofts attempt to nibble at Apple's mobile music market. I want to thank Microsoft. Not only did it envy the ipod, a completely useless and ridiculously overpriced device that doesn't do anything except play expensive music downloaded from an online store and maybe from a few CDs you might own, but it went and built another one.

Why would I buy one? Okay, I wouldn't buy any mp3 player over $100 anyway, let alone an ipod, but why wouldn't I buy the Zune? It's got a few features over the ipod, including a useless wireless feature that allows me to send time-limited songs to other Zune owners. Lets look at that for a second. I've got a Zune, and I want to let you listen to a song I have. One, you need to have a Zune. What are the odds of that? And two, you can only listen to the song I send you 3 times. So if you are standing right there, why don't I just hand you my freaking Zune and let you listen to the stupid song?

It has a bigger full color creen. That's so fantastic. Wow. What does this screen do? Well it shows you a menu and a album graphic of the song you're listening to. Great feature. Suck my battery life by showing me a stupid picture while I listen to my Zune that's probably in my pocket anyway! Ditch the big screen for a little LCD menu and you'd double your battery life. Nevermind sacrificing time to listen to music by adding visual features on a device thats sole purpose is to listen to music.

What a useless toy. Only teenagers will buy this because they're too stupid to know any better. Ooo...shiny! They will all say.

Music is a scam. No, I don't mean the music industry. I mean music. It's all one big scam. Music is supposed to be something enjoyable that I listen to. I don't care who sings it or what they look like, I don't want to waste my time sitting at some concert looking at people dancing that I can't even see who probably have a huge microphone attached to their face anyway. I just want to listen to something.

Musicians made a mistake. They put a suit between them and their fans. These days all music is digital. Use the internet, idiots! Ask you nefew, he could probably get your music on the internet for all your fans for about $30 within an hour. Why are you paying millions of your dollars to some schmuck who's entire job is to make it as hard as possible for your fans to listen to your music while paying as much as possible, and then taking a huge chunk of it themselves?

Is the internet not fast enough for you? Make a song, record it, and put it on the web. If it's any good, you'll have millions of listeners and people begging you by email to let you buy more of your music by the following morning. If the president picks his nose on TV, you can bet by the next day everyone in the world will know and there will be a dozen Flash cartoon parodies of it, a domain registered dedicated to displaying the video and 50,000 blogs mentioning the event.

Maybe if you can't spread your music on the internet or by word of mouth, its because it sucks. In that case, go work at Walmart.

What's this got to do with bikes? Well I'm thinking of listening to music on my mp3 player while I ride to work. On my $30 mp3 player. With music that I record free from the streaming internet radio stations. Want to impress me, Microsoft? Stop my computer from crashing every 10 minutes.

Tuesday
Miles: 9,898
Mood:
Confession #84- I am Scrooge.

Merry Christmas! Wait, what's that you say? It's not Christmas yet? Ridiculous! All the commercials have a Christmas theme. Radio stations are playing xmas music 24 hours a day. Stores are decorated with stockings and tinsel.

Huh? What turkey holiday? There's a holiday between Halloween and Christmas? Egads! You are right. What's with Thanksgiving? Doesn't corporate America care about turkey day? Does anyone even know why we celebrate Thanksgiving? In grade school I learned that it was an anniversary of the day the pilgrims met with the indians and they all had a big feast together and became friends. Then I got into high school and learned that the pilgrims docked their boats on the shore, mowed the indians down with muskets, set up a colony and gave all the natives horrible diseases that killed most of their population.

Certainly eating a turkey doesn't represent that. Unless of course you are a pack of turkeys, maybe. But the english never ate the indians (okay well once, but it was really cold, and who knew it would snow so much in the new world?). Maybe that's it. Maybe Thanksgiving represents when the pilgrims had no crops because it was snowed over and the indians came by to trade some beads and they were eaten. Then in 1920 they decided to celebrate it but with that "constitution" thingy and human rights activism just around the corner, they couldn't very well serve indians, so they cooked turkeys instead. Turkeys being the only dumb animal not regularly eaten already.

Let's just forget about Thanksgiving.

So Merry Christmas! And Happy New Year! Do you have a date for Valentine's Day yet?

Yay for turkeys!
hmmm... right.... you guys haven't had Thanksgiving yet.

I feel like an exception to your rule...though not entirely.

I drive a sporty cruiser. I wear *full* gear. Textile Jacket with armor pieces, Textile overpants with armor, Full finger gloves (wesh summer waterproof winter) Timberland Pro Workboots (I don't care that they're Timberland, they were the only boots in size 14 without those stupid hooks or some other horrible lace technology) I don't drive like a jerk (kind of afraid to on a bike) I plan on commuting to my new college when the weather warms up again. (45 minute drive, my schedule doesn't always line up with my fiance's so if i'm going solo, I'm taking the bike)

My bike isn't grossly overpowered. I drive a smallish car when I do drive my car.

I walk! Across town! Partially to save gas! Partially to exercise!

Becasue I am Fat Mr. McFatty or however you put it. But my breakfast today was broccoli, some brown rice, a banana and some skim milk. And I'm a member of a local gym! And I actually go!

So thanks for keeping us all in check. My saying has always been "It's funny because it's true"

\/\/

Thursday
Miles: 9,907
Mood:
Confession #85- I'm so sadistic.

I'm riding along this morning in traffic as usual on the freeway. As I approach an onramp with traffic merging onto the freeway and cars bouncing around to every lane I slow down to 10mph under the speed limit. I see a truck next to me pass, and behind him is a little gold car right on his tail. The driver is a pretty-boy in a suit with sunglasses, all mad at the world.

So eventually the truck has to slow down (no doubt angering the gold car driver even more) because, duh, there's chaotic traffic ahead. And the gold car whips out and get in behind me. With traffic all around I'm not about to go twisting around into other lanes so I endure is jerkism for a moment. As soon as he is clear, he whips around me, by me in the right lane, and cuts me off! So I blip my little horn at him to let him know he almost killed me, and he flips me off!

What a jerk. He's mad at the world for no reason. People need to calm down when they drive. Getting mad doesn't get you there any faster. Well, it made me want to mess with him. Because I like doing that.

So I give him a huge happy wave thinking "see ya soon!". You see, it doesn't take much to make a mad cager blow his top. There's absolutely no limit to how furious they can get for no reason at all. It's sad, but hilarious!

So I bide my time, staying in my lane while he darts into the right faster lane to gain some speed. I know (because I pay attention) that he's about to get jammed in a mile down the road, since my lane is steady traffic and filled up while his empty lane is about to meet another onramp. One would think after driving the same route everyday that you would learn the traffic patterns, but apparently not.

Eventually he gets caught, and I'm smoothly riding along in my lane. I come up next to him, slow down a bit and blip my horn so he looks over, give him another happy wave, and speed off. It did just the trick. He exploded! He flipped me off again and started screaming. I don't know what happened to him, but I like to imagine he's still stuck out there in traffic.

That's so great. I love messing with people who get road rage. In fact, it's probably one of the things that prevents me from having road rage...keeps me happy

You sir, deserve a cookie. A nice tasty cookie. I've found that to be the best tactic myself lately. I did get VERY mad one time early last week, but my life was seriously risked (i was even in my cage) and there was NO EXCUSE AT ALL.

but all the other times I try to be VERY polite and check out EVERYTHING.

\/\/

Monday
Miles: 9,907
Mood:
Confession #86- I'm cheap.

I was in a cycle gear shop looking for winter riding gloves. My current gloves are designed for summer, with good airflow and perforated edges. It's winter, its freaking freezing outside, and I don't want good airflow. I want hot coals duct taped to my clothes. Hear that, Santa? All I want for Christmas is coal. I bet that'll be a first on your list.

If I have to, I'll be really bad for the next month.

A few of the gloves fit, and they were comfortable and nice looking. But if they think I'm going to pay more than $30 for a pair of leather gloves, they have another thing coming! Heck, I bet the skin graft for my palms at the emergency trauma center will cost less than that. Plus, I hear they most often remove skin from your butt. Now wouldn't that be a great ice breaker when shaking hands with someone for the first time?

So sue me, I'm cheap. My gloves, cold as they are, will do just fine for now. Until after winter, maybe they'll have some on sale. Then come next Christmas, bam...I'll be set.

Take that, greedy corporate glove-makers.

I overhear this heavy-set guy in the store looking for riding pants. He's complaining because he can't find any that fit him very well. I feel bad for him, so I hand him my card. I've recently started an organization to combat the problems of obesity in America. It's called "The Better Way". My card reads:

"Hate diets? Try bulimia!"

My diet is going to be the new South Beach. Not only do you get to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and as much as you want, but you don't have to exercise and you only have to attend one meeting (held in a public bathroom at the local mall) for $10 and you get a free stick to shove down your throat.

It's a million dollar idea!

Okay, so my critics say bulimia is a horrible disease. Well sure, if you're 5' 10" and 90 pounds. But if you can't fit into your Ford Explorer, my diet is just the solution. We even have an alternative program if anyone is uncomfortable with the throat stick. It's a bottle of beer, wine, and scotch mixed together with milk and prune juice. Just drink 6 bottles after every meal and your body will take care of the rest.

Sure, you might end up an unhealthy alcoholic bum with stomach-acid-rotted teeth, but at least you won't get stuck in the tunnel slide at Splashtown.