Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:13 pm
I was so glad to get out of work this evening. I'd had a bad day. 'Bad' in the sense that I felt like cr*p all afternoon and could hardly motivate myself to do anything at all. I struggled on through several pointless, socially irrelevant tasks, escaping occasionally from the stuffy, overheated atmosphere of my hermetically-sealed office onto the stairwell to breathe some real, non-synthetic air. At twenty past four I decided I couldn't stand it any longer, and left. (I work flexi-hours, thank god. I can do that.)
Outside it was a pleasant, mild evening. The roads were a bit busy but I felt good just getting out in the (moderately) fresh air. What a relief to be back in the real world - or at least the nearest approximation to the real world there is in Stevenage!
I must find another job.
I just gotta get out of this madhouse. I cannot believe so many of my colleagues take their work seriously. I've got to the stage where I cannot even look at a stuffy, jargon-laden, government report without finding my eyes closing. The language has had evey drop of living juice squeezed out of it. I could perhaps cope with it if the writers had even the slightest notion of grammar, or how to write in clear syntactical prose. But they don't. I swear the paper they print it on is impregnated with centuries of boredom, sweated out of the brains of deskbound Whitehall clerks. They are a race apart. They must be. In my head I have this vision of a herd of pale pinstripe-suited creatures, reared in specially maintained government pens. I imagine they are all four foot six inches tall and bred for docility. Their wide, round faces are aglow with a look of benign stupidity.
It's been a bad day!
As the Daytona and I queued up at the first roundabout (behind rows of other consenting adults) I had the pleasant thought that no-one had tried to kill me on the road for quite some time, now. That was quite a refreshing idea, and it began to put me in a better mood. Out here in the fresh air, with the Daytona whirring expectantly beneath me, I felt all right with the world. It was just all the rest of the cr*p.
But on the way out of town, in the short stretch of road between the second and third roundabouts, my improving mood vanished. A driver in a blue Vauxhaul, pulling out of a short slip road onto the main carriageway, either didn't see me, or saw me and decided he didn't care. He was sitting at a dead stop in the filter lane to my left as I approached. Then, just as I drew level, he signalled quickly and accelerated straight out into my lane. I swerved away from him as far as I could, but there was another car to my right, so I slammed on the brakes. In the few seconds that followed, my arms and vocal chords got more exercise than they had previously had all day.
I gunned the throttle to get ahead of the maniac and rode on.
Breathe deeply, Hud! Settle your thoughts!
My thoughts settled back down quietly and I focused back on the road, but my nervous system kept firing, all the way to Corey's Mill, at the edge of town.
At Corey's Mill there were two long stationary lines of traffic waiting for the lights to change on the big A1(M) roundabout. The lanes here are wide and filtering is a breeze. I ran up between the lines of stationary traffic with another biker behind me until I was just a few cars away from the the front of the queue. The lights changed. I slowed, to squeeze back into line. All the vehicles moved forward in an orderly way - except for one. A white van (what else!) chose that moment to drift heavily sideways straight into me - he wasn't even attempting to change lanes, he just drifted in. For a moment I thought I was going to end up as the ham in a ham sandwich. I braked, the biker behind me braked harder and we narrowly avoided an intimate four way encounter.
Beyond the A1(M) roundabout is a fast stretch of dual carriageway. I rode it in a... shall we say, 'excited' manner, and had still not recovered my equanimity five minutes later as I arrived back in Hitchin. I was wound up enough, and distracted enough to take a wrong turning a couple of hundred yards from my house. (It used to be the right turning until they made mine into a one-way street. I now have to go in the opposite direction and enter my road at the other end). It was a case of old habits taking over while my mind was elsewhere. It meant I had to go down to the Woolpack roundabout, go round it, and double back.
But you know, the fact that a bike's indicator light is signalling that its rider intends to continue round a roundabout, is clearly not sufficient for some people. This guy in a Corsa had seen me enter the roundabout and had decided that despite my signal I couldn't possibly be intending to go all the way round. So he sailed merrily out straight in front of me, till we both came rapidly to a halt, eyeball glued to eyeball. Whereupon he smiled and politely indicated that I should continue. I politely indicated back my opinion of his good manners (We Brits have ways of doing this) and carried on home with my eyes cast firmly up into the top of my head.
Bugger! Was I was glad to get into the house and put the kettle on! I was very relived to see that the 'DB' was out. (That's K. You remember him from a couple of posts back? He's staying with me again - yes, he's hit yet another temporary homeless episode in his eventful young life. Di and I nicknamed him 'The DB'. It stands for 'The Dear Boy.' We also refer to the central heating timer as the DB, because it is just as chaotic and chancey as K himself.) I don't think I could have coped at that moment with listening to him obsessing over the details of his personal life. I needed some personal time myself to deal with the events of the day.
I am not generally accident prone - I have never broken a bone in my life. Nor am I prone to paranoia. And I'm not superstitious either, but in my shaken-up state I did begin to wonder if Fate or Nemesis, or something of the kind might not be taking a hand in this.
And so I might, because as I stuffed my gloves into my lid and pushed my lid onto the corner shelf, the telephone rang.
I picked up the receiver.
"Where's Skid?" a shrill young, female voice demanded.
"Who?" I said.
"Skid. Who the fu*k are you?"
"Well, who are you for that matter?" I asked.
"Don't p1ss about with me, you f*cking, prickhead," said the voice. And the receiver at the other end slammed down.
Now, I know the universe is having a big joke.
Outside it was a pleasant, mild evening. The roads were a bit busy but I felt good just getting out in the (moderately) fresh air. What a relief to be back in the real world - or at least the nearest approximation to the real world there is in Stevenage!
I must find another job.
I just gotta get out of this madhouse. I cannot believe so many of my colleagues take their work seriously. I've got to the stage where I cannot even look at a stuffy, jargon-laden, government report without finding my eyes closing. The language has had evey drop of living juice squeezed out of it. I could perhaps cope with it if the writers had even the slightest notion of grammar, or how to write in clear syntactical prose. But they don't. I swear the paper they print it on is impregnated with centuries of boredom, sweated out of the brains of deskbound Whitehall clerks. They are a race apart. They must be. In my head I have this vision of a herd of pale pinstripe-suited creatures, reared in specially maintained government pens. I imagine they are all four foot six inches tall and bred for docility. Their wide, round faces are aglow with a look of benign stupidity.
It's been a bad day!
As the Daytona and I queued up at the first roundabout (behind rows of other consenting adults) I had the pleasant thought that no-one had tried to kill me on the road for quite some time, now. That was quite a refreshing idea, and it began to put me in a better mood. Out here in the fresh air, with the Daytona whirring expectantly beneath me, I felt all right with the world. It was just all the rest of the cr*p.
But on the way out of town, in the short stretch of road between the second and third roundabouts, my improving mood vanished. A driver in a blue Vauxhaul, pulling out of a short slip road onto the main carriageway, either didn't see me, or saw me and decided he didn't care. He was sitting at a dead stop in the filter lane to my left as I approached. Then, just as I drew level, he signalled quickly and accelerated straight out into my lane. I swerved away from him as far as I could, but there was another car to my right, so I slammed on the brakes. In the few seconds that followed, my arms and vocal chords got more exercise than they had previously had all day.
I gunned the throttle to get ahead of the maniac and rode on.
Breathe deeply, Hud! Settle your thoughts!
My thoughts settled back down quietly and I focused back on the road, but my nervous system kept firing, all the way to Corey's Mill, at the edge of town.
At Corey's Mill there were two long stationary lines of traffic waiting for the lights to change on the big A1(M) roundabout. The lanes here are wide and filtering is a breeze. I ran up between the lines of stationary traffic with another biker behind me until I was just a few cars away from the the front of the queue. The lights changed. I slowed, to squeeze back into line. All the vehicles moved forward in an orderly way - except for one. A white van (what else!) chose that moment to drift heavily sideways straight into me - he wasn't even attempting to change lanes, he just drifted in. For a moment I thought I was going to end up as the ham in a ham sandwich. I braked, the biker behind me braked harder and we narrowly avoided an intimate four way encounter.
Beyond the A1(M) roundabout is a fast stretch of dual carriageway. I rode it in a... shall we say, 'excited' manner, and had still not recovered my equanimity five minutes later as I arrived back in Hitchin. I was wound up enough, and distracted enough to take a wrong turning a couple of hundred yards from my house. (It used to be the right turning until they made mine into a one-way street. I now have to go in the opposite direction and enter my road at the other end). It was a case of old habits taking over while my mind was elsewhere. It meant I had to go down to the Woolpack roundabout, go round it, and double back.
But you know, the fact that a bike's indicator light is signalling that its rider intends to continue round a roundabout, is clearly not sufficient for some people. This guy in a Corsa had seen me enter the roundabout and had decided that despite my signal I couldn't possibly be intending to go all the way round. So he sailed merrily out straight in front of me, till we both came rapidly to a halt, eyeball glued to eyeball. Whereupon he smiled and politely indicated that I should continue. I politely indicated back my opinion of his good manners (We Brits have ways of doing this) and carried on home with my eyes cast firmly up into the top of my head.
Bugger! Was I was glad to get into the house and put the kettle on! I was very relived to see that the 'DB' was out. (That's K. You remember him from a couple of posts back? He's staying with me again - yes, he's hit yet another temporary homeless episode in his eventful young life. Di and I nicknamed him 'The DB'. It stands for 'The Dear Boy.' We also refer to the central heating timer as the DB, because it is just as chaotic and chancey as K himself.) I don't think I could have coped at that moment with listening to him obsessing over the details of his personal life. I needed some personal time myself to deal with the events of the day.
I am not generally accident prone - I have never broken a bone in my life. Nor am I prone to paranoia. And I'm not superstitious either, but in my shaken-up state I did begin to wonder if Fate or Nemesis, or something of the kind might not be taking a hand in this.
And so I might, because as I stuffed my gloves into my lid and pushed my lid onto the corner shelf, the telephone rang.
I picked up the receiver.
"Where's Skid?" a shrill young, female voice demanded.
"Who?" I said.
"Skid. Who the fu*k are you?"
"Well, who are you for that matter?" I asked.
"Don't p1ss about with me, you f*cking, prickhead," said the voice. And the receiver at the other end slammed down.
Now, I know the universe is having a big joke.