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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:37 am
by NightNurse
"Was this story worthy of being posted in TWO different forums? All I got from it is that your boyfriend needs to pay more attention to you"

Doesnt seem anyone else reads that section of the forums. I just wanted to see others opinions on this, see what other people would do (in case it happens again). If you dont like my posts dont read them. Thanks, now move along.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:43 am
by Shorts
All you guys screaming about testosterone, you should think twice. (BTW, those injections into topics are really getting old). The first piece of being able to defend yourself, or stand a fighting chance of NOT being a victim of some kind of assault is to be aware of who and what is around you, especially in a parking lot! If you get all the way to the point where an unknown person, in this case a male on female has got his hands on her, things just got real serious in a hurry.

This isn't a joke. This isn't playground bullying. This is real life where women can and often get molested, assaulted, raped, attacked, robbed, beaten and killed. You cannot be too careful. And to sit a think *this* instance is not any kind of thing to worry about, you are abdolutely wrong.

I have taken self defense courses/CCP class. Being prepared is not something to make fun of people for and call names. Being prepared is vital for survival. Knock on wood one never has to use what s/he has learned to fight for his/her own life. To put it into terms you can understand, it's like wearing ATGATT. You don't dress for the ride, you dress for the crash. It is the same thing for self defense.

With that said, you don't walk around beating people up and macing them for looking at you crosseyed. But there is a reasonable appropriate way to approach a person in order to converse. It isn't hard. This guy crossed the line. He put himself in a threatening position whether he realized it or not. He should have gotten maced. You can bet he'd never do that stupid stunt again and the cops wouldn't do a thing to you as you were threatened and he put his hands on you. Justified, on several levels.


Loonette had a good example with the bike vs car and the windows. That's spot on. Nalian said it very well too.


This thread has crossed several lines. But I didn't like the fact that being prepared to defend yourself was being looked at as over the top. I do think beating a dude up for looking at your bike is uncalled for.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:48 am
by NightNurse
Thanks Shorts. People act like I was going to kill a person for looking at me funny.

1. It was late at night in a parking lot
2. The guy was much bigger than me
3. He touched me, scared the crap out of me
4. Im a new biker, it wasnt like I was could just zip out of there, in a parking lot full of potholes, and gravel...
5. I felt threatened

Therefore, he would have deserved to be maced, or kicked in the nuts for that matter.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:18 pm
by jonnythan
NightNurse wrote:Thanks Shorts. People act like I was going to kill a person for looking at me funny.

1. It was late at night in a parking lot
2. The guy was much bigger than me
3. He touched me, scared the "crumb" out of me
4. Im a new biker, it wasnt like I was could just zip out of there, in a parking lot full of potholes, and gravel...
5. I felt threatened

Therefore, he would have deserved to be maced, or kicked in the nuts for that matter.
You would have absolutely, 100% been in the right to mace or otherwise incapacitate this man.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:47 pm
by ANDS!
jonnythan wrote:
NightNurse wrote:Thanks Shorts. People act like I was going to kill a person for looking at me funny.

1. It was late at night in a parking lot
2. The guy was much bigger than me
3. He touched me, scared the "crumb" out of me
4. Im a new biker, it wasnt like I was could just zip out of there, in a parking lot full of potholes, and gravel...
5. I felt threatened

Therefore, he would have deserved to be maced, or kicked in the nuts for that matter.
You would have absolutely, 100% been in the right to mace or otherwise incapacitate this man.
Wow. I think some of you DEFINITELY need to consult local ordinance (city, county, state).

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:56 pm
by Shorts
ANDS! wrote:
Wow. I think some of you DEFINITELY need to consult local ordinance (city, county, state).
What do you think they teach you in self-defense classes and CCP classes? You think they just say beat the "poo poo" out of anyone you want?

You are right, you do need to know the letter of the law, but because you choose to be active in your self defense does not mean you're an outlaw. The implication of such is insulting! :evil: Do you know the letter of the law?

packing.org for your individual state laws.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:00 pm
by PatArmyRet
I agree with NN.

You grab someone, you invaded space. Implied threat.

The right to self defense with appropriate force is allowed.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:12 pm
by ANDS!
According to her, he didnt grab her - he put his hand on her shoulder. "Appropriate response" is the key phrase here. She gave the person the correct response. Macing them, or worse PHYSICALLY assaulting them - would not have been.
Do you know the letter of the law?
With dealing with ex-offenders and public defenders day in and day out, I think I can call an "assault/harrassment" when I see one. This wasnt harrassment, it was some fool playing smooth. If some of the facts have been left out (smelled alcohol on his breath, he had a weapon on his hip, etc.) - then you change your response accordingly; but going from 0 to 60 off of that, is going to get MULTIPLE people in trouble. Period. Self-defense Im sure teaches how to gauge situations, no?
The implication of such is insulting!
You know what they say about implications - you make an IMP out of you and me.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:16 pm
by jonnythan
ANDS! wrote:his wasnt harrassment, it was some fool playing smooth.
It wasn't harassment, no. It *is* assault, though.

Suggestively touching a smaller woman you've never met alone in a dark parking lot would be viewed as threatening by a reasonable person.

Pepper spray would be completely justified.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:19 pm
by NightNurse
ANDS! wrote:According to her, he didnt grab her - he put his hand on her shoulder. "Appropriate response" is the key phrase here. She gave the person the correct response. Macing them, or worse PHYSICALLY assaulting them - would not have been.
Do you know the letter of the law?
With dealing with ex-offenders and public defenders day in and day out, I think I can call an "assault/harrassment" when I see one. This wasnt harrassment, it was some fool playing smooth. If some of the facts have been left out (smelled alcohol on his breath, he had a weapon on his hip, etc.) - then you change your response accordingly; but going from 0 to 60 off of that, is going to get MULTIPLE people in trouble. Period. Self-defense Im sure teaches how to gauge situations, no?
The implication of such is insulting!
You know what they say about implications - you make an IMP out of you and me.
I guess you can't read. " Looks at me, puts his hand on my bike, grabs my shoulder and says "Hey, can I get on your bike". " Taken from my first post...