Wife says no to bike.

[Shorts]

3. How did he open up your marriage in here? Yes he did bring up a few things but he didnt open up his marriage. This makes me think you are controlling and not willing to negotiate (although the rest of your post does). By controlling I mean you want to know every website he goes to every post he makes everything he says to people online. Its kind of like you dont trust him for some reason and I dont want to know why you dont trust him.

Who whoa whoa! Slow down. Her intentions sounded purely offhand and comical. Don't make the mistake of making her out to be something she's not. In fact, sometimes I get sarcastic comments from my husband about my internet conversations. And he is surely far from controlling. It sounds as though you want to crucify her for something she's really not doing.

Madam, Jon did not marry your mother. If you can't deal with her that's your problem.

Again, there are sarcastic undertones to her comments about her mom in law (and I think any married person would certainly see the humor in it). I surely don't like to hear my mom in law complain about the choices my husband and I BOTH make and the risky activities we BOTH participate in, but she does and I do. I can't say enough how I tiresome the anti-firearm speech is. Not to mention the anti-motorcycle passive-aggressive jabs Let's face it, no one wants to conflict wih their mom in law. And pretty much taking the opposite side in any argument will result in conflict. The easiest thing to do is not even go there. I can see where John's wife is coming from not wanting to even explain that to his mom. And really, she shouldn't be the one who has to. Besides, mom in laws are scarey when you make them mad. Why be the one to do it?

And if you read through the whole post, you'll see that she said she's not opposed to him riding. Nor is she fearful of motorcycles. You know that whole thing about 'I don't wanna outgrow this bike and have to sell it and get another in less than a year' argument that most newbies use to justify a bigger cc bike??? Sounds like she doesn't want to do that either.

[CNF2002]

Its almost as if her mother doesnt want to "let go" of their baby girl and want her to do what they want her or think she should do not what I and/or my wife think we should do. I dont know though just guessing

So in other words she is just like every other mom I have ever met

Hey moms fret and worry and nag...thats their job.

[jonbailey19808]

I am still here. She did not beat me.

She was extremly nice and understanding. I dont want you thinking badly of her.

She is not controling at all. And i did want to be understanding of her feelings.

Yes i am guilty of buying new stuff alot but feel the bike i am picking out is going to be long term.

I am waiting untill after my MSF class to make any more decisions about the bike to buy.

I have tried alot of them and i like her to come with me and see how comftable i look on them. Her opinion maters a heck of alot to me.

Thank you for everyone's input so far. The bike i am thinking of is the GS500F Suzuki.

[JonBaileysWife]

thanks to most of you for seeing my post for what it was...

Jon actually sent me the link and asked me to read it and respond. I don't "stalk" him on the internet LOL!!!!

Jon is a GREAT and wonderful husband, father, provider and a man of true integrity that I have the highest respect for. Most of my comments were "tongue in cheek", just light hearted explanations of where I'm coming from. Jon loved my post and IM'd me as soon as he read it thanking me for putting my feelings in easy to understand terms. (we women tend to convey our emotion rather than the intended message).

As for Zoo, well I am really sorry that your wife left a bitter taste in your mouth. I don't mean to attack you, but since you cracked the whip at me...the bottom line, your marriage didn't make it, so perhaps your approach wasn't flawless. However, it takes a strong man to raise his kids alone and I think you deserve as much credit, if not more, than the single mom hero's of today. My best friend has a son with autism and I understand the challanges you face. SO, I understand why you'd feel bitter against a wife that you preceive to be a control freak.

Jon and I are ironing out the details of the impending bike purchase. He's enrolled in the Motorcycle Safty Course and we'll go shopping together after.

As to the my mom...yeah she's a control freak and she admits it and IS trying to put a cap on in. In fact, I JUST stood up to her last week when I said "Mom, how about you give your 37 year old daughter a list of what she can and can not buy and what is an acceptable number of pet's we're allowed to have..." (we bought a puppy for our 15 year old birthday and she wasn't happy about it). However, she DID lose her son on a motor cycle, so we have to be a little more gentile and understanding of her feelings. She's a great mom who raised her kids with love and understanding and she deserves the same in return.

So again, this was a wonderful thread. I thank you all for your objective and understanding posts.

Happy riding

[jonbailey19808]

O and we dont live in pike creek any more. We moved to Wisconsin.

[ShawnKing]

The bike i am thinking of is the GS500F Suzuki.

That's a good beginner sport bike. I've ridden them and they are nimble and fun.

[bok]

That's a good beginner sport bike. I've ridden them and they are nimble and fun.

and makes a good hand me down to the wife when you decide you need to buy something new *tongue firmly in cheek*

[ZooTech]

As for Zoo, well I am really sorry that your wife left a bitter taste in your mouth. I don't mean to attack you, but since you cracked the whip at me...the bottom line, your marriage didn't make it, so perhaps your approach wasn't flawless. However, it takes a strong man to raise his kids alone and I think you deserve as much credit, if not more, than the single mom hero's of today. My best friend has a son with autism and I understand the challanges you face. SO, I understand why you'd feel bitter against a wife that you preceive to be a control freak.

It wasn't my intention to "crack the whip" at you. You assumed I wasn't married or that my marriage would fail based on my view of relationships, and I felt compelled to respond. I assure you, my divorce had nothing to do with anything I did. My ex was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about five years into our marriage and, instead of embracing it and seeking treatment, she decided to use it as an excuse to do whatever the hell she wanted to, all the while manipulating me because she knew I wouldn't give up on her easily. By the time the smoke cleared, she had cheated on me several times (how many is still unclear) and had turned to drugs (cocaine, ecstacy, etc). In the end the court system placed a restraining order against her (to prevent her from seeing the kids) which still stands today.

Now, granted, I was very bitter for a long time after our divorce, but to say that's what compells my beliefs now would be incorrect. It comes from observations of couples that I admire, couples that support one another as they pursue interests that don't appeal to both people. It shows a lot of love and devotion when a husband escorts his wife to some play or broadway show that he wouldn't otherwise be caught dead going to, and it also shows a lot of love and devotion when a wife supports her husband's "dangerous" hobby if it really makes him happy (of course, those are just examples so please keep the PC comments out of this!).

As for your situation, I think your husband grossly misrepresented the discussion taking place in your home and I, admittedly, responded accordingly yet inappropriately it seems. It sounds like you are a supportive spouse and are simply concerned about your husband's tendency to abandon new hobbies after spending more money than time pursuing them. In the end, I'm sure you guys will work it out.

[vulcanguy]

3. How did he open up your marriage in here? Yes he did bring up a few things but he didnt open up his marriage. This makes me think you are controlling and not willing to negotiate (although the rest of your post does). By controlling I mean you want to know every website he goes to every post he makes everything he says to people online. Its kind of like you dont trust him for some reason and I dont want to know why you dont trust him.

Who whoa whoa! Slow down. Her intentions sounded purely offhand and comical. Don't make the mistake of making her out to be something she's not. In fact, sometimes I get sarcastic comments from my husband about my internet conversations. And he is surely far from controlling. It sounds as though you want to crucify her for something she's really not doing.

Madam, Jon did not marry your mother. If you can't deal with her that's your problem.

Again, there are sarcastic undertones to her comments about her mom in law (and I think any married person would certainly see the humor in it). I surely don't like to hear my mom in law complain about the choices my husband and I BOTH make and the risky activities we BOTH participate in, but she does and I do. I can't say enough how I tiresome the anti-firearm speech is. Not to mention the anti-motorcycle passive-aggressive jabs Let's face it, no one wants to conflict wih their mom in law. And pretty much taking the opposite side in any argument will result in conflict. The easiest thing to do is not even go there. I can see where John's wife is coming from not wanting to even explain that to his mom. And really, she shouldn't be the one who has to. Besides, mom in laws are scarey when you make them mad. Why be the one to do it?

Obviously you are a female with those sentiments. I lived with a controlling in-law who brow beat my wife over every little decision she evermade !!!! She even tried foisting herself on me but to no avail and she hated it . then took it out on my wife, who is now my ex. I gotta tell ya the so called mother in law was a major wedge in breaking up our relationship . So don't preach to me how "scarey" they can be .

And if you read through the whole post, you'll see that she said she's not opposed to him riding. Nor is she fearful of motorcycles. You know that whole thing about 'I don't wanna outgrow this bike and have to sell it and get another in less than a year' argument that most newbies use to justify a bigger cc bike??? Sounds like she doesn't want to do that either.

[JonBaileysWife]

That's a good beginner sport bike. I've ridden them and they are nimble and fun.

and makes a good hand me down to the wife when you decide you need to buy something new *tongue firmly in cheek*

LOL Bok!! Sounds like you already KNOW us!!! Trust me, I'm hoping he gets a bike that I'll like so when I become a biker chick he can hand it down to me

Zoo, thanks for sharing what you went through. I hope you find the right lady to share your life with and who your kids will love and she will love them right back (if that's what you want of course )