Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 11:26 am
(Dammit, Jim, can't we vote this moron off the board?)MotoF150 wrote:ur wife IS NOT worried about ur saftey, shes NOT worried about you getting hurt or even killing yourself on a bike, she worried about you being out there alone and picking up and flirting with other women, that whats shes really thinking and worried about but she never tells you that!
Moto, you haven't a clue - so don't bother telling people your farcical, fictional view of the world.
As a man, involved in a long-term relationship with a very loving woman, I can tell you a whole helluva lot about marital communication.
The original poster's wife was expressing very sincere, honest emotions.
When I began my own quest, my other half and I spoke extensively.
To be honest, I think I expressed more concerns about the potential dangers than she. However, I've built up a lot of trust (and vice versa) so we effectively made decisions _together_.
When I vaccilated on the course, she basically said WE as a FAMILY would work to find the money to make the course happen. I have vowed that I will take my child on the back of the new bike, but ONLY if she has all the proper gear and ONLY when I am totally confident in my own bike-handling skills.
My other half doesn't like to drive, so when we're in the cage together, she lets me take the helm. She knows I'm a careful, safety-conscious driver - and she knows I'll never put my daughter in danger's way.
That's the kind of thing the original poster's wife wants to know - to feel. He has to engage her in this process.
And, to be honest, many guys - even guys my/our (40ish) age - are still nowhere near as responsible or forward-thinking as women, ESPECIALLY MOTHERS. Few men will ever, in my opinion, understand the bonds and mindsets of motherhood. It would be a helluva waste to have some child's father injured for life or worse, because of an ill-thought decision: that's her thought process.
So, the original poster must engage his other half, MUST promise to be safe and sentient at all times, MUST take a course. (Must. Vow that you will not step on a bike without a course: show her you're a mature, forward-thinking individual).
DO NOT get a bike that does not reflect sentience. I'm after a DL650. An 1800cc cruiser or 600cc sportbike is, after all is said and done, foolishly stupid for a new biker... so you ought to not only not get one, but tell the wife that you're not going to get one because it's foolishly stupid. Provide her the evidence to demonstrate that you're making a conscious, sentient, thoughtful decision.
As for your wife's friends, they may be engaging in some kind of challenge within themselves. Maybe they view a biking man as a sign of the woman surrendering her hubby to the wilds: disempowering. It's clear that those friends are providing information, but how accurate? The original poster, in my mind, ought to take the information provided and counter it with factical information, facts like:
* Many accidents happen with lone riders failing to negotiate a curve in the dark.
* Many accidents happen with drunk riders.
* Many serious injuries happen with individuals that do not wear appropriate protective gear.
- and other stuff about young rider with big bikes.
Acknowledge the dangers, then provide evidence that you're willing to avoid and mitigate those dangers: promise NOT to ride for four to six after consuming ANY alcohol. Promise to buy solid gear (encourage the wife to choose the gear with you) and promise to ride within safe speeds at all times. Maybe set out some kind of performance standards: if you get a speeding ticket, you have to stay off the bike for two months. If you get a second speeding ticket within a year of a first ticket, you sell the bike: that should provide you with incentive to be safe, and provide the wife with a sense that you are not about to go off and kill yourself just for the helluvit.
And - what the hell - maybe up the life insurance policy, just in case: such demonstrates, in my mind, more maturity.
