Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:17 pm
No, I haven't seen Saving Grace yet. I should probably find and watch it, I could use a laugh right about now..... a hoot would go down pretty well too..... 
FOR ME... it felt as if there would be less pain in gouging out my eye balls. It felt as if I couldn't release my clenched teeth to save my life. I felt that if one more thing was spoken in my direction, I might commit murder! I would cry and get the shakes every time I quit smoking. I would become paranoid and edgy beyond belief. Couldn't even drive to the store for fear I might run some ill-mannered driver off the road. Quite sad...blues2cruise wrote:What exactly does it feel like to be craving a smoke?
Having never smoked, I honestly do not know what the body (or the brain) is feeling that you get so depserate for a smoke.
What are your symptoms?
For me quitting was probably the hardest thing I've had to endure. I grew up with smokers, rode in cars with smokers - everyone in my family smoked. It was as normal to me as their heavy drinking was! When I was 9, I would sneak long butts out of the car ashtray and mess around with puffing on those. I started smoking (regularly) at the age of 13. At 15, I no longer hid the fact that I smoked, and started buying my own cigarettes with my lawn-cutting and baby sitting money. By the age of 20, I probably EASILY smoked around 2 packs per day. I couldn't start the car, polish my nails, eat a meal, whatever without having a cigarette. I did quit a couple of times along the way - for some reason not smoking during my pregnancies was easy. But as soon as my babies had weaned from the breast, I was right back at it. Almost as if it was my reward!!
When my kids were little, I smoked only about one pack a day (I know - not a good number, but less than two packs!!). "Scan" and I had long given up smoking indoors, so in order to have a smoke, we would take turns leaving the house to "take a walk - get some fresh air". Fresh air!! Ha! But the kids aren't stupid, and I was tired of being a hypocrite. I decided that I either had to quit smoking or quit lying to my kids. So I quit - I was 33 years old.
It's been just over 7 years now, and I don't miss it a bit. And I'm happy that Ohio placed a ban on smoking in restaurants and bars. There are few choices for dining in our town, and we would take the kids to this one particular restaurant for lunch, but eventually had to stop. My CHILDREN were coming home smelling like ashtrays - disgusting!! Business has not slowed at all for the bars/restaurants (after all, if everyone has the ban, it's not like people can go anywhere else that somehow allows smoking). People still enjoy a night at the bar - but the smoke stays outdoors.
I never stand in judgment of a smoker's need to smoke. I've been there and know better. But, having been a smoker that abstained from indoor smoking, I have no sympathy for the smoker who cries foul because they have to endure a slight inconvenience. It's small beans compared to what a passive smoker must endure. And I swear to god above, my stomach churns every time I see a car roll by, windows up, mom & dad puffing away with little ones in the back seat.
Anyway... I think it's human nature to turn to something for comfort and/or escape. We also tend to turn to things that help us belong. The problem with cigarettes is how terribly addictive they are. Even if you want to quit, it's darn near impossible. (But it is possible...) It wasn't easy for me to quit by any means. I've known people who can smoke at a party and then not touch a cigarette for a year. I want to kill those people. The fact that it was so hard for me, and that I have stayed away for 7 years, is all the reason to never venture down that road again.
Cheers,
Loonette
