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An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this
time?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old ma thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a
prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give ma this luxurious
fur coat,
title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings
certificate.
For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the
sparkling new
Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a
membership
to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye
all to
spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Glory be! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a
Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"