Criminally STUPID
THAT'S JUST GOOFY
In Cranberry, Pa., a man walked into Gordon's Mini Mart wearing a mask of the Disney dog Pluto and demanded money, but the clerk laughed him out of the store. Meanwhile, in Tsu, Japan, a 31-year-old man wearing a monkey costume tried to rob a con-venience store, but when he tried to take money from the cash register he couldn't grab it with his "paws."
TURN THE OTHER CHEEK
In Van Buren, Ark., Mark Thompson stole a car stereo from a car parked in front of a tire store, then decided to moon the empty store. He then fled, not noticing that his wallet had fallen out when he'd dropped his pants. Police found it later, along with another piece of evidence: a rather large "butt print" on the store's window.
DOOFUS du jour
In Charlottesburg, Va., Raymond Caldwell walked into a jewelry store on Valentine's Day and asked to look at a couple of diamond rings. While the clerk was getting them, Caldwell stuffed an engage-ment ring and two wedding bands into his pocket and ran from the store. He then went home, gave the rings to his girlfriend and proposed to her. When she found the rings didn't fit, Caldwell told her to take them back to the store to have them sized. She did, and after the clerk recognized the rings, police were called.
WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF?
In Moorhead, Minn., a man with a license plate that reads "TIPSY" was arrested for DUI, while in Hong Kong, Ho Heng-chau, 20, was found guilty of drug possession on a day when he chose to show up in court wearing a T-shirt that read "COCAINE" across the front.
SUPERSIZE YOUR SENTENCE
A Marathon, Fla., man, arrested following a fight at a local bar, told the arresting officer that if he drove him to McDonald's he would buy him two cheeseburgers in exchange for his release. He's now charged with trying to bribe a police officer