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Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2006 6:50 pm**

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, ''I like both.''

''Both?''

Engineer: ''Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.''

Posted: **Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:11 am**

What do engineers use for birth control?
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Their personalities!

Posted: **Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:21 am**

Except 'audio engineers'...we get all the chix

Posted: **Tue Sep 19, 2006 5:11 pm**

Reminds me of a joke told by a friend who doesn’t lurk/post on here....

It’s the annual Automotive Engineering Awards for Motorcycle Excellence. Engineers from companies around the world attend, meet and mix with their colleagues in other companies.

Alcohol of all types is consumed in large quantities until eventually a Triumph engineer finds himself using the toilets at the same time as a Honda engineer and Yamaha engineer.

The Honda engineer finishes and starts to wash his hands. With his hands under the water he says "At Honda we ensure that each component is thoroughly cleaned down before it is fitted to the motorcycle."

The Triumph engineer rolls his eyes.

His colleague from Yamaha steps up to the basins and lovingly lathers every millimetre of his skin. "At Yamaha all tools are thoroughly cleaned before work to prevent contamination of our product during construction."

The Triumph engineer zips himself up and leaving the toilet says "At Triumph we don't "pee" on our hands."

Posted: **Tue Sep 19, 2006 10:27 pm**

Why do engineers wear rings?

It's used as a depth indicator, so they don't hit the brain when picking their nose.

Posted: **Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:25 am**

SuperRookie wrote:Except 'audio engineers'...we get all the chix

People will add engineer to anything. Audio engineer, sanitation engineer...

Posted: **Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:38 am**

storysunfolding wrote:
SuperRookie wrote:Except 'audio engineers'...we get all the chix
People will add engineer to anything. Audio engineer, sanitation engineer...

Yep... I only count the one's who's degree says the actual words "Engineering". Or if they have their professional engineering license.

//I'm an engineer.. I don't pick my nose, and I have no problems with the ladies. so bah!

------------------------------------------------
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you`re an engineer -- you`re in the wrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they`ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how`s it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We`ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there`s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You`ve got an engineer? That`s a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I`m keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I`ll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

Posted: **Fri Sep 22, 2006 4:21 pm**

How do you tell an extroverted engineer from an introverted engineer?
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The extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

PS>..I am a Mechanical Engineer. That's how I know!

Posted: **Sat Sep 23, 2006 7:15 am**

mydlyfkryzis wrote:PS>..I am a Mechanical Engineer. That's how I know!

Gee, so is my daughter, her hubby is a Chemical Engineer, Gas & Oil

Both are kinda over the edge extroverted, My daughter is down right outspoken....LOL.

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An Engineer's love life

An Engineer's love life