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A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The
counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately.

The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze. The counselor then turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf."

This morning on the Freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac
doing 65 mph w/her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a
couple seconds & when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which
knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using
my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the
coffee between my legs, splashed, & burned Big Jim & the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my
trousers, & disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!!!

For those inquisitive ones...

Boob Flash

thats evil..using the word watermellons like that....shame on ya...

dr-bar, that's funny.

The Flu Shot.....


Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

Ok, so someone wanted an Xmas elf smilie...


I cheated...

Hey, that's not the face on the one I sent you.