The Queen, Footballers and the Shark
Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:00 pm
Out on her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea
air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow
- clearly being menaced by a very large shark.
Through her binoculars she could see it was Christian
Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from
the jaws of the 20 foot beast!
The queen ordered the captain to change course to try
and save the poor man, but she knew the yachts top
speed would never get them there in time.
At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men
wearing white tops sped into view. One of the men
took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its
ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two
reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and,
using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into
the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared
for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling.
It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.
On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about
the rescue and said,
"I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I
thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the
world cup. But I see that the England team are true
heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship
to other countries."
She knighted them and sailed away.
As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was
that?!"
"That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules
the Commonwealth and knows everything about our
country."
"Well," Rooney replied, "she obviously knows puck all
about shark fishing.
How's the bait holding up??"
air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow
- clearly being menaced by a very large shark.
Through her binoculars she could see it was Christian
Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from
the jaws of the 20 foot beast!
The queen ordered the captain to change course to try
and save the poor man, but she knew the yachts top
speed would never get them there in time.
At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men
wearing white tops sped into view. One of the men
took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its
ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two
reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and,
using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into
the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared
for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling.
It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.
On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about
the rescue and said,
"I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I
thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the
world cup. But I see that the England team are true
heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship
to other countries."
She knighted them and sailed away.
As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was
that?!"
"That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules
the Commonwealth and knows everything about our
country."
"Well," Rooney replied, "she obviously knows puck all
about shark fishing.
How's the bait holding up??"
