We Can Dream, Can't We?
Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 9:21 am
Wouldn't it be great to turn on the TV and hear ANY US president, Democrat or Republican, give the following speech?
My fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is finished.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me are two lists. One list contains the names of countries which stood by our side during the Iraq war. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, Poland, and a few others comprise this short list.
The other list contains every country not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on this second list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on the second list will cease immediately and indefinitely. The money saved in the first year alone will nearly pay the costs of the Iraq war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third-world countries and watch government leaders of those countries grow fat from corruption. If assistance is needed to combat famine or disease epidemic, contact some or all of the countries from the second list. If they are going to take on the role of concientious objectors, helping the sick and starving is the least they can do.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect moneys previously dedicated to foreign aid instead toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a warning to terrorist organizations: If you attack us in any way, we will hunt you down and elimininate you and all your associates from the face of the earth.
I am ordering the immediate severance of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. We are withdrawing from NATO as well.
Bon chance, mes amis
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, and shredded or crushed. Diplomatic immunity is rescinded in its entirety. Representatives of foreign governments committing crimes in the US will be prosecuted in the same manner as any other US citizen.
Effective immediately, the US is abrogating the NAFTA treaty. US citizens working in NAFTA countries will have 30 days to leave those countries, after which time they will no longer be recognized as US citizens, and not allowed to re-enter the US.
We will begin drilling for oil in Alaska, which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. We must not allow ourselves to be held hostage by oil cartels. Environmentalists opposing this are invited to move at once to the country of their choice from the second list.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I don't care what they think.
Nearly a century of trying to help people around the world live decent lives has only earned us the undying enmity of every country we have helped. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. Our efforts have to be for us first.
To our friends on the first list, we offer our heartfelt thanks and appreciation for your support. You can count on us to offer support when you need it.
To the countries on the second list who did not see fit to offer support to us when we needed you, in spite of saving virtually all your lives in previous wars and conflicts, we will remember this war as an arena for you to demonstrate your respective national character, or lack of it.
Thank you, and good night.
I stole this from a Honda forum, but they stole it frome somewhere else. It's still a good bunch of ideas.
My fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is finished.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me are two lists. One list contains the names of countries which stood by our side during the Iraq war. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, Poland, and a few others comprise this short list.
The other list contains every country not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on this second list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on the second list will cease immediately and indefinitely. The money saved in the first year alone will nearly pay the costs of the Iraq war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third-world countries and watch government leaders of those countries grow fat from corruption. If assistance is needed to combat famine or disease epidemic, contact some or all of the countries from the second list. If they are going to take on the role of concientious objectors, helping the sick and starving is the least they can do.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect moneys previously dedicated to foreign aid instead toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a warning to terrorist organizations: If you attack us in any way, we will hunt you down and elimininate you and all your associates from the face of the earth.
I am ordering the immediate severance of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. We are withdrawing from NATO as well.
Bon chance, mes amis
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, and shredded or crushed. Diplomatic immunity is rescinded in its entirety. Representatives of foreign governments committing crimes in the US will be prosecuted in the same manner as any other US citizen.
Effective immediately, the US is abrogating the NAFTA treaty. US citizens working in NAFTA countries will have 30 days to leave those countries, after which time they will no longer be recognized as US citizens, and not allowed to re-enter the US.
We will begin drilling for oil in Alaska, which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. We must not allow ourselves to be held hostage by oil cartels. Environmentalists opposing this are invited to move at once to the country of their choice from the second list.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I don't care what they think.
Nearly a century of trying to help people around the world live decent lives has only earned us the undying enmity of every country we have helped. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. Our efforts have to be for us first.
To our friends on the first list, we offer our heartfelt thanks and appreciation for your support. You can count on us to offer support when you need it.
To the countries on the second list who did not see fit to offer support to us when we needed you, in spite of saving virtually all your lives in previous wars and conflicts, we will remember this war as an arena for you to demonstrate your respective national character, or lack of it.
Thank you, and good night.
I stole this from a Honda forum, but they stole it frome somewhere else. It's still a good bunch of ideas.
