Total Motorcycle Community Forums

Hello all...I just passed the motorcycle safety course this weekend and went and got my class M license at the DPS office this morning. I've been wanting to ride all my life and now is my chance. But there is one hangup...

My wife is 3 months pregnant and she is very upset that I would consider starting to ride when our first child is on the way. I'm willing to accept the risks that come with riding and I believe that having a family and big responsibilities like this will make me a more caution rider.

She is not about to hear anything of the sort. How do I help make her more comfortable with me riding? I told her I'd start out riding with groups of experienced riders and I would not venture into any large cities with a lot of traffic for a couple years until I could handle that kind of situation.

Any suggestions?

First off, welcome and congrats on passing the course and the baby!

With regards to reassuring your wife, I've found that explaining the precautions you will take to a concerned loved one has the best chance. They may still not agree with your decision, but at least they'll understand that you've done the research and are taking steps to minimize the risks. For example, mention that you will be getting full protective gear. Also go over some of the lessons you learned in the MSF about being doubly aware of your surroundings and rider visibility. Abstract concepts like "having a family will make me more responsible" doesn't really address the fear that a non-attentive cager will hit you.

I also wanted to address the statement you made to your wife about riding in groups. From what I've heard, riding in groups is not a great way to learn to ride safely. In my opinion riding alone, or with just one other experienced rider to get the feel of riding with others is safer before getting into a group situation, where the pressure to keep up and handling emergency stops will make it more risky (in my opinion). (Have you ever been in a group of cars following the leader? And that's with the benefit of 2 tons of steel around you) There are probably good riding groups out there that account for beginners, so this is a personal opinion

Anyway, my recommendation is to just make sure you give her concrete evidence of taking precautionary measures (gear, taking it slowly, what you learned in the MSF) and hope she understands, if not agrees, with your decision.

Your fellow newbie, avoidalliteration.

I hate to say it, but she is right. If you ride a motorcycle often, you will be killed riding it. That much is as sure as night follows day. Your responsibility is to be so vigilant and careful as to push that eventuality so far forward that you die of old age first.

Johnj wrote:I hate to say it, but she is right. If you ride a motorcycle often, you will be killed riding it. That much is as sure as night follows day. Your responsibility is to be so vigilant and careful as to push that eventuality so far forward that you die of old age first.

A little morbid, but I like the last sentence.

dataplex wrote: I'm willing to accept the risks that come with riding . . .

but your wife faces the consequences of the risks that come long with riding... should anything ever happen to you, she has to handle the results... no matter how cautious you are, that's a consequence she has on control over when you ride... i think that's where she's coming from - and it's probably pretty scary for her to think about a new-born without a father...

btw - congrats on the baby...

Johnj wrote:If you ride a motorcycle often, you will be killed riding it.

wtf kind of comment is that??

anarchy wrote:

Johnj wrote:If you ride a motorcycle often, you will be killed riding it.

wtf kind of comment is that??

keep reading....

+1 to avoidalliteration's comments. Get her involved in the process, be sure to point out all of the things you're doing to stay safe and keep the lines of communication open.

This is all just my opinion.

This is general topic that many of us have had with our wives, girl friends etc...

Some get it, some never will and some just need to be reassured it not your death wish and what your doing/ have done to push the chance out.

In your state your class may not be required, its not in mine. But I took a weekend safety class anyway because I know I needed it after too many years of not riding. I also will not take the kids for a round the neighborhood for at least a year or more. I also got some safety equipment that is not required for my own reasons. I plan on getting crash bars at some point on the bike but for now I have some extra reflective stickers on the bike and my helmet, again to push the chance out.

I don't know what you plan on doing but you may want to bring the wife in on what you plan on doing to be as safe as practical and within budget. That may mean full face DOT helmet, quality riding jacket, pants and boots before any saddle bags, pipes etc...

Then you may have to realize that in her state, all she can think about 24x7 is the baby and there is no reasoning or logic with hormones.

I have a couple of kids and have been through the 9 months plus. This is not meant as a slam on women but just mother nature doing what is the number one priority for the species. Reproduce. Sometimes you just have to wait till the hormones setting down after birth. It's most likely not her, but the hormones that make it a bigger deal than it should be.

This is all just my opinion.

Big B wrote:

anarchy wrote:

Johnj wrote:If you ride a motorcycle often, you will be killed riding it.

wtf kind of comment is that??

keep reading....

Johnj wrote:I hate to say it, but she is right. If you ride a motorcycle often, you will be killed riding it. That much is as sure as night follows day.

should i read further??




i agree with johnj's comment about being vigilant and careful with the goal of dieing of old age... but to say that if your ride often you will be killed - come on....