Stupid Cager Tricks, Vol 1
Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 1:41 pm
I swear, I'm going to compile a list of all the stupid things cagers do and write a satirical 'cager documentary' if only for my own amusement.
Stupid Cager Trick #12: Highway Hypnotism
And there I was... (granted, this happened THREE times today, but I'll just do it once)
Apparently, whenever a cager is positioned fairly close a biker, behind him or her, in the second lane of any two same-direction lanes, they become susceptable to bright, shiny lights.
You, as a responsible biker, may check your mirrors and notice that, for no apparent reason, the cager has moved into your lane and sped up, giving you no more than a half-car length distance. This is surely because it has become unusually and inexplicably attracted to your tail light.
No less admirable, and really quite less, is the effect of a /blinking/ light. Upon lighting your turn-signal and turning back for a blind-check (and noticing the reasonable distance required to make a lane merge present) you begin to drift over to the desired lane.
Now, this is where you get trouble. Because what you might not know is that the combination of blinking lights and bikers doing blind-checks will cause the cager to enter a state of complete numbness, fully unaware that their foot has just pushed the accelerator through the floor.
If you're lucky enough to hear the cager coming upon you rapidly before you hit the white line, you'll stand a good chance of surviving the encounter.
(Damn guy on the highway today gave me a whole three-inch clearance. I gave him something entirely different.
)
Stupid Cager Trick #12: Highway Hypnotism
And there I was... (granted, this happened THREE times today, but I'll just do it once)
Apparently, whenever a cager is positioned fairly close a biker, behind him or her, in the second lane of any two same-direction lanes, they become susceptable to bright, shiny lights.
You, as a responsible biker, may check your mirrors and notice that, for no apparent reason, the cager has moved into your lane and sped up, giving you no more than a half-car length distance. This is surely because it has become unusually and inexplicably attracted to your tail light.
No less admirable, and really quite less, is the effect of a /blinking/ light. Upon lighting your turn-signal and turning back for a blind-check (and noticing the reasonable distance required to make a lane merge present) you begin to drift over to the desired lane.
Now, this is where you get trouble. Because what you might not know is that the combination of blinking lights and bikers doing blind-checks will cause the cager to enter a state of complete numbness, fully unaware that their foot has just pushed the accelerator through the floor.
If you're lucky enough to hear the cager coming upon you rapidly before you hit the white line, you'll stand a good chance of surviving the encounter.
(Damn guy on the highway today gave me a whole three-inch clearance. I gave him something entirely different.
)