New Element discovered..
Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 6:41 am
New element discovered...Seems that this new element exists practically everywhere, but because it is inert, no one recognized it until a major research institution was given a mega-dollar government grant to determine why everything slows down around all governmental bodies.
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of the new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."
Governmentium(Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action and reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause an action that would normally take less than a second, to take over four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but rather undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since every reorganization will cause more morons to combine with neutrons to form isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium but differentiates itself by having only half as many peons and twice as many morons.
Remember too that the most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity...
__________________