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A Warning For Our Edmonton Brothers and Sisters.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:50 am
by ceemes
This was too good not to pass along......do you know where you bike is or who has been visiting it late at night? :laughing:
Judge puts brakes on car lover's public acts of affection

Karen Kleiss
The Edmonton Journal
Saturday, November 24, 2007


EDMONTON - An Edmonton man who finds the curves of the 2007 BMW 328 impossible to resist was sentenced to time served and two years probation Friday.

The 45-year-old man pleaded guilty to three charges of indecent exposure for repeatedly climbing on top of cars in public and masturbating on them.

A psychiatric evaluation submitted in court Friday said the man is aroused by classic cars, such as the 1967 Camaro and the 1955 Chevy Bel Air.

"(He) announced that he is specifically sexually attracted to 'the roof top ... it's curved like a woman's body, the sex appeal, it felt good,' " psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Woods wrote in the report, noting the man is also sexually captivated by motorcycles.

The man was born with an under-functioning thyroid gland, which was left untreated and has led to minor mental retardation. The condition is also known as cretinism. He told his probation officer he was high on the fumes emitted by a permanent marker when he committed the crimes, said a pre-sentence report submitted Friday.

On March 22, he went to the Home and Garden show at the Northlands AgriCom and was caught pleasuring himself on top of the $50,000 BMW sedan.

A clean-up crew had to be called, but there was no damage to the paint surface of the BMW.

On May 24, the man was caught again on top of a 2005 green Mini-Cooper that was parked in the lot at a local Boston Pizza.

Finally, on June 12, he was charged when a citizen called police after witnessing the man pleasuring himself on a 1991 Buick Century.

Woods found that the man is at a low risk to sexually offend against people. However, he said the man was highly likely to offend again in the same way.

"(His) risk of sexual recidivism falls within the high range," Woods wrote.

"It is important to emphasize that (his) patterns of sexual offending is rather predictable and non-diverse, and is likely to involve the impetuous, spontaneous, unrestrained and ill-considered exposure and self-stimulation of his genitals in the presence of a motor vehicle that he finds sexually enticing."


kkleiss@thejournal.canwest.com

© The Edmonton Journal 2007

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:59 am
by slimcolo
I've been FCUKED by Harley before but I guess thats not the same. This man is in Edmonton and clearly suffers from lack of sunshine, that or he's just a perv.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:09 pm
by fireguzzi
weird man

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:14 pm
by Wrider
Y..Y..Y..You mean this isn't normal??? No wonder the guy I sold my bike to got all grossed out... :laughing:
Wrider

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:54 pm
by zed
fireguzzi wrote:weird man
Nah, think about it.
Does your bike ever nag you?
Does your bike come with a mother-in-law?
Does your bike get angry when you look at other bikes?
Does your bike ever ask you where you've been all night?
When you want to go for a "ride", does your bike ever have a headache?

Of course I would never go this far with my bike!

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:12 pm
by JC Viper
What rider doesn't fondle the knobs on their bikes???

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:32 pm
by badinfluence63
what happened to freedom of expression. If you don't like or agree don't look :laughing:

Oh right this is Canada. Kick his "O Ring"! :P

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:13 pm
by slimcolo
But it wasn't his car! I would be pissed off if it was my car.

Re: A Warning For Our Edmonton Brothers and Sisters.

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 12:02 am
by Seetrout
ceemes wrote:
Finally, on June 12, he was charged when a citizen called police after witnessing the man pleasuring himself on a 1991 Buick Century.
OK the Beemer, the Mini, I can almost see.
BUT A 91 BUICK ANYTHING? :yikes:

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 12:04 am
by badinfluence63
But it wasn't his car! I would be pissed off if it was my car
What! :shock: I would f'ing kill him. I would cure him of his illness in one swift body slam, head first off the hood.

I thought he was just happpy about his BMW.