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Posted: **Fri May 16, 2008 12:25 pm**

Check out this clip. It's an exercise that should be done in all our schools and a whole lot of work places...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2AJ7Vcxk3w

What do you think?

Posted: **Fri May 16, 2008 2:59 pm**

Being teased taught me to have a thick skin. I'd rather have that than be a whiney little "dog" who complains at the first sign of adversity. It also taught me to not put up with the "poo poo" of others and to stand up for myself. And HELP the "little guy" stand up for themselves. How else are they going to learn to do it?

Posted: **Fri May 16, 2008 4:35 pm**

Ninja, five or six years ago I would have agreed with you. Speaking in generalities from my observations and experiences, most of the people who looked down on me in high school now check out and bag my groceries every other weekend. I didn't care what they thought back when we were in high school and I sure as hell don't care now.

However, (and i could be biased since i'm now older) today I think kids have become more emotionally and mentally unstable. Kids just don't seem to shrug off the trivial things anymore. An exercise like the good doctor's post could go a long way in reducing bullying, teasing and harassment. Think of a generation of idiot bullies working minimum wage jobs and a much larger emotionally unstable lot of adults. Unfortunately, kids just can't handle the BS anymore. I think unchecked bullies will have a much more devastating effect on others than they have in years past.

Just my .02

Posted: **Fri May 16, 2008 5:41 pm**

koji52 wrote:
However, (and i could be biased since i'm now older) today I think kids have become more emotionally and mentally unstable. Kids just don't seem to shrug off the trivial things anymore. An exercise like the good doctor's post could go a long way in reducing bullying, teasing and harassment. Think of a generation of idiot bullies working minimum wage jobs and a much larger emotionally unstable lot of adults. Unfortunately, kids just can't handle the BS anymore. I think unchecked bullies will have a much more devastating effect on others than they have in years past.

Just my .02

That's what I started thinking as well. Todays students, from elementary all the way through college are so easily influenced by media, music, internet sources it seems like it'd be worth a shot to give them better things to receive rather than the trash they normally intake. They spend their time jumping from emotion to emotion and don't know how to deal with each one when their face to face with it because so much of their communication is through online or texting. And I think everyone here on the internet can understand how its much easier to say things to a little text box than it is to actually have that conversation with a real person standing in front of you.. They're out of touch in relationships

Posted: **Sat May 17, 2008 2:48 am**

Yes, I have noticed these things too. My sister in law, who is only ten years younger then me, seems so out of touch. As is her boyfriend. Like Shorts said, the just jump from over dramatic emotion to over dramatic emotion. They are more narcissistic too. Don't even get me started on the fact that she is graduating high school this year yet she is unable to carry on a halfway intelligent conversation.

When she was 16 and I convinced her that BBQ grew on trees. I "poo poo" you not. She ended up asking her grandparents if they had a BBQ tree and the grandparents called my wife asking us about it.

So this may be a generalization as I only have a single example to follow.
(thanks sev for the use of your sig.)

Posted: **Tue May 20, 2008 2:24 pm**

Every school and every workplace...teachers, managers and parents too...everyone should go through that exercise.

I have been teased relentlessy all my life...It did a lot of damage to my psyche and my self esteem. It has been a long hard road to build up my self esteem and I don't know if my self confidence will ever be strong, but I'm working on it.

When people say mean things or make fun of you, it does a lot of long term damage.

Posted: **Tue May 20, 2008 5:24 pm**

Never more that twice.

Posted: **Tue May 20, 2008 7:33 pm**

I've taken martial arts since a young age since my parents wanted me to learn discipline and self defense second. Over the years seeing new students come and stay and me leaving the school and going into another one I found that the arts do encourage plenty of discipline. It seems as if we were all taught to treat each other like brothers or sisters. Quite nice in this day and age.

From the start we are taught to be respectful of the teacher, others and ourselves. We then were taught to just focus on ourselves and not get into it with anyone else since using our skills should be a last resort.

When I was 15 circa late 2000 (23 now) I was picked on by a group of kids at school but I just walk on by without a care. Then one shoved me and another grabbed my schoolbag. Feeling trapped I defended myself and went on to break one arm on each person in the group who went after me. The reason was to get them immobilized so I can leave without further damage but the police showed up and being the nice guy I stayed only to get in one hell of a trouble. I was allowed to return to my zoned school on some very odd terms that I stop taking martial arts and pay for the kids medical bills.

The bullies parents all stated that their kids are good kids and that I provoked them to show off my fighting skills. They were minorities, and in NYC you have to respect them (asians like myself don't count).

Prior to that I was in a private school (late 1999 - june 2000) for one year before being expelled for a bully starting a rumor on me having a gun since I was the silent shy type. I was pushed shoved and made fun of but I just took it and walked away. Then one day I had enough of it since the bullies thought it'd be funny to spread a rumor about me since I was the silent guy and it was a year after Columbine. When I was poked and prodded by officials I had so much anger but was somewhat successful in dissipating it. Then the next day those idiots come back and wouldn't let up and made me late for class so I began to yell the crap out of them punching a dent in the locker then I was told to calm down then detained by the principal (I was subservient to my elders).

I now have been holding grudges against those two incidents ever since even thought I tried doing the right thing I got punished and not the bullies. My parents were fed up with me and I just became a loner since life taught me that interaction leads to trouble.

Another story (outside of school) begins on 1999 where I met a few girls and they began hanging around with me and my friends (a first). Being the shy type I refused to make out with one of them one night and regretted it to this day (still haven't kissed a girl) since I then started to have a crush on her. Then on Sept. 12, 2001 I was just taking a nice calm walk and wanted to be with just my thoughts. While walking I run into that girl and her boyfriend. She says hi and I, being choked up for some reason probably from the events, couldn't get the words to come out so I acknowledged her nodded my head and walked on. On my way back I encounter the both of them again and this time her boyfriend starts spouting off insults and racial slurs claiming I disrespected his girl. The next day I meet up with my friends who heard what I had done. I was the bad guy, the arsehole if you will. Later I see the girl and her boyfriend again but when he confronted me I told him to F* off then he tried swiping me but I blocked then grabbed his arm punched him in his center and threw him to the ground (he was a big guy too so I should be happy) but then she slapped me and told me to get the F* out before she gets his boys on me. It's like she didn't even know me. From that point on my friends lost all respect for me and thought I tried to hard to be cool. Yup, her boyfriend was the cool "gang" (some local crew) member and my friends were also friends with people in the gang.

I've now got little self esteem and entered into Shaolin martial arts to regain respect for myself. So far it works pretty well but only for a few hours. Once I leave and go home and start listening to music I begin to think about how much my life could have been better if I just took the punches and I sink to a nice low till the next meet in Shaolin.

So that's my story on how I dealt with things but failed. I left out a bit of details so if your confused by anything let me know since I don't want to make this post any longer. Besides it is late here and I want to go back playing GTA IV. I'll edit some other time.

Posted: **Tue May 20, 2008 11:43 pm**

JC Viper wrote:I've taken martial arts since a young age since my parents wanted me to learn discipline and self defense second. Over the years seeing new students come and stay and me leaving the school and going into another one I found that the arts do encourage plenty of discipline. It seems as if we were all taught to treat each other like brothers or sisters. Quite nice in this day and age.

From the start we are taught to be respectful of the teacher, others and ourselves. We then were taught to just focus on ourselves and not get into it with anyone else since using our skills should be a last resort.

When I was 15 circa late 2000 (23 now) I was picked on by a group of kids at school but I just walk on by without a care. Then one shoved me and another grabbed my schoolbag. Feeling trapped I defended myself and went on to break one arm on each person in the group who went after me. The reason was to get them immobilized so I can leave without further damage but the police showed up and being the nice guy I stayed only to get in one hell of a trouble. I was allowed to return to my zoned school on some very odd terms that I stop taking martial arts and pay for the kids medical bills.

The bullies parents all stated that their kids are good kids and that I provoked them to show off my fighting skills. They were minorities, and in NYC you have to respect them (asians like myself don't count).

Prior to that I was in a private school (late 1999 - june 2000) for one year before being expelled for a bully starting a rumor on me having a gun since I was the silent shy type. I was pushed shoved and made fun of but I just took it and walked away. Then one day I had enough of it since the bullies thought it'd be funny to spread a rumor about me since I was the silent guy and it was a year after Columbine. When I was poked and prodded by officials I had so much anger but was somewhat successful in dissipating it. Then the next day those idiots come back and wouldn't let up and made me late for class so I began to yell the "crumb" out of them punching a dent in the locker then I was told to calm down then detained by the principal (I was subservient to my elders).

I now have been holding grudges against those two incidents ever since even thought I tried doing the right thing I got punished and not the bullies. My parents were fed up with me and I just became a loner since life taught me that interaction leads to trouble.

Another story (outside of school) begins on 1999 where I met a few girls and they began hanging around with me and my friends (a first). Being the shy type I refused to make out with one of them one night and regretted it to this day (still haven't kissed a girl) since I then started to have a crush on her. Then on Sept. 12, 2001 I was just taking a nice calm walk and wanted to be with just my thoughts. While walking I run into that girl and her boyfriend. She says hi and I, being choked up for some reason probably from the events, couldn't get the words to come out so I acknowledged her nodded my head and walked on. On my way back I encounter the both of them again and this time her boyfriend starts spouting off insults and racial slurs claiming I disrespected his girl. The next day I meet up with my friends who heard what I had done. I was the bad guy, the arsehole if you will. Later I see the girl and her boyfriend again but when he confronted me I told him to F* off then he tried swiping me but I blocked then grabbed his arm punched him in his center and threw him to the ground (he was a big guy too so I should be happy) but then she slapped me and told me to get the F* out before she gets his boys on me. It's like she didn't even know me. From that point on my friends lost all respect for me and thought I tried to hard to be cool. Yup, her boyfriend was the cool "gang" (some local crew) member and my friends were also friends with people in the gang.

I've now got little self esteem and entered into Shaolin martial arts to regain respect for myself. So far it works pretty well but only for a few hours. Once I leave and go home and start listening to music I begin to think about how much my life could have been better if I just took the punches and I sink to a nice low till the next meet in Shaolin.

So that's my story on how I dealt with things but failed. I left out a bit of details so if your confused by anything let me know since I don't want to make this post any longer. Besides it is late here and I want to go back playing GTA IV. I'll edit some other time.

You did what you had to do, nothing more. You felt threatened, you acted accordingly. I got teased up down left and right when I was younger, too, but luckily I live in a simpler place and there's not a whole lot of minority groups. My father's advice was "tattoo 'em", and once I started defending myself, things got better.

Most people don't understand the martial arts, and don't understand people that defend themselves. They're always looking for the victim. It's easy to point out that someone's a martial artist and then use that knowledge against them. It's a sad fact.

Seems like you got unlucky and got screwed around by the system and lying parents. It's happening more and more recently. Helicopter parents, neglectful parents, and gangs. Lots of gangs. Suddenly you can't stand up for yourself, you have to act subservient.

In elementary school, we were taught that if you even TOUCHED the kid that was attacking you, you'd end up suspended as well. Fear of suspension was drilled into us from day one, and when it came time for me to get picked on all through middle school, junior high, and the beginning of high school (I ended that "poo poo" real quick), I wasn't prepared. My mother told me to just ignore it and don't do anything.

Luckily, my dad was the one that was raised in this area, the same school system. He told me to fight back. It may be a different day and age with everyone coddling their kids WAY too much, but it's still a little middle of nowhere school. By high school, I had beaten enough kids down and grabbed enough by their windpipes to get them off my back.

But that's coming from a mostly white country school. Gangs? So glad I live where I do. Gangs just breed violence, ignorance, and what they call "respect" is mentally challenged. It's all just an excuse to think you're cool, make money off of drugs, and hurt innocent people.

Know what sucks? Most people don't care.

Were I in your situation, I'd get the hell out of NYC. It does not sound as though the city is ready for a person such as yourself. People are dumb, and cruel, and most of those higher ups with good intentions look at the situation wrong. No matter what you've done to protect yourself and your interests has fallen apart. Your friends must not be real friends if they're scared of what a local gang is going to do. That girl must not have been a nice or even respectable girl if she was hanging around with a gangbanger.

Think of it this way, JC: You're alive. You have something that makes you feel better. Most of those people you've interacted with are going nowhere in their lives and will probably end up dead or homeless. Respect yourself, damn it. You've done nothing wrong. You defended yourself and people played the system, or people got scared and abandoned you. The real crimes here are that people get away with acting like bullies, and that parents and kids all play the innocent card instead of doing the respectable thing and account for their mistakes.

How the hell does one person get in trouble for injuring three people? That situation is kind of obvious, at least in my view. Eugh, get out of the city, let it rot in on itself without you getting caught up in it.

Posted: **Wed May 21, 2008 1:57 am**

koji52 wrote:
However, (and i could be biased since i'm now older) today I think kids have become more emotionally and mentally unstable. Kids just don't seem to shrug off the trivial things anymore. An exercise like the good doctor's post could go a long way in reducing bullying, teasing and harassment. Think of a generation of idiot bullies working minimum wage jobs and a much larger emotionally unstable lot of adults. Unfortunately, kids just can't handle the BS anymore. I think unchecked bullies will have a much more devastating effect on others than they have in years past.

Just my .02

I think one of the main reasons the instability and emotions run higher is due to the parents eagerness to sue and/or complain about trivial issues and winning.

If a child fails to apply him/her self then flunks a grade, the parent(s) sue a school district for embarrassing or lowering the self esteem of their child. Divorce parents do everything within their power to favor their kids for fear of being the "bad" parent. Parents allow their kids free reign and an easy path to adulthood with limited repercussions for their actions. All they need to do is whine and the parent(s) will back them up instead of telling their kid to face the problem, deal with it and/or apply themself to do better.

The end results are not beneficial. When a child becomes an adult, they learn the same behavior and expect life to be a breeze by whining and threatening legal action. When a child becomes employed and requires discipline from their boss, they are not accustomed to this action, lose control and in many cases, become postal and may shoot up the place. Teaching a kid self discipline and facing the realities that life isn't always filled with roses, will provide a solid foundation for their overall growth. They will then be able to shrug off minor, and even major setbacks due to their ability to face a problem head on.

Now, this doesn't mean I favor bullying or teasing. I protected a few kids from bullies in my high school years. But if I had a child who was being bullied, I would work on teaching him/her why the bully is doing so and how to respond. Then, as was mentioned by Viper, I was also involved in the martial arts and find it to be one of the best learning experience and confidence builder for everyone, and would offer the opportunity for my child to do the same, especially in cases where physical contact is unavoidable.

Overall, today's society is raising a bunch of weak "kittycats". Teach them you can't control the actions of others. But you can control how you react to them.

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Were you ever teased, harassed, bullied???

Were you ever teased, harassed, bullied???