You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 6:16 am
. . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.
. . . you call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
. . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.
. . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
. . . your X-Wing has a still in it.
. . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.
. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
. . . you use Jawas for drink holders.
. . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
. . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.
. . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
. . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
. . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
. . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
. . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
. . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
. . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
. . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.
. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.
. . . you have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
. . . you can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE.
. . . your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
. . . you have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
. . . the worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
. . . wookies are offended by your B.O.
. . . you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
. . . you have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
. . . you've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle.
. . . you've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon.
. . . you have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder.
. . . you feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
. . . you ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
. . . you have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
. . . you ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
. . . you have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
. . . you suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
. . . you use your lightsabor as a bug zapper.
. . . you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle!"
. . . you call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
. . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.
. . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
. . . your X-Wing has a still in it.
. . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.
. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
. . . you use Jawas for drink holders.
. . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
. . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.
. . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
. . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
. . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
. . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
. . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
. . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
. . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
. . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.
. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.
. . . you have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
. . . you can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE.
. . . your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
. . . you have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
. . . the worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
. . . wookies are offended by your B.O.
. . . you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
. . . you have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
. . . you've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle.
. . . you've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon.
. . . you have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder.
. . . you feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
. . . you ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
. . . you have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
. . . you ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
. . . you have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
. . . you suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
. . . you use your lightsabor as a bug zapper.
. . . you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle!"