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An Italian bike with electrical issues!? Who knew?

It spends much of it's sitting time on a battery tender, and now it won't start, actually, it wont even turn on. I turn the key and get nothing but a buzzing sound from one of the two ?relays? just to the left of the battery. This seems to be a new sound, normally I'd get a whirr from the fuel pump on turning the key and the gauges would light up and cycle... but none of that happens now. Anyone know what those two relays are for? I pulled all the fuses and swapped a few of them around to see if the problem would "move" but got no change. I pulled those two relays and swapped them (they're the same as far as I can tell) I used one of my other keys thinking maybe an immobilizer issue, but nothing affected the problem in any way.

I think you have a dead battery. When a relay oscillates (the buzzing), that indicated that there is not enough juice to keep the relay engaged. That would also explain why your fuel pump doesn't start and your gauges don't cycle.

The first thing I'd do would be to put a voltmeter on the battery.

12.47 volts across the battery and the Battery Tender tells me it's full. Good info on the buzzing.