SS1000 Motorcycle 1048 miles in under 24 hours in -3!
Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:40 pm
Am having a real issue putting the pictures in for some reason when I hit Img* it just flicks off!
Saddle Sore 1000 Challenge
Authenticated by the United Kingdom Iron Butt Association and Blue Knights Motorcycle Club.
Done with the help and many thanks to Nick Sanders for his kind words of inspiration and generous donations. You can find Nick's latest book 'Parallel World' a motorbiking trip of some 41 countries and the account of Nick's FINAL world trip by clicking the below link.
The date was Saturday the 31st January 2009 and I was supposed to do a 1000 mile motorcycle ride in under 24 hours on January 1st! A session of bad weather and bad news had made that impossible for me to achieve. Why was I doing this in winter you may well ask, the answer is simple, I’m a moron. One of those morons that never quite grew up and more important has no intention of ever fully growing up. I am one of those people that lack the ability to see danger and instead see an exciting adventure and opportunity to test myself.
The idea had come from another distance ride I had done to Kiev back last year and I was talking with the family about doing another to many a groan of ‘oh he’s at it again’. My family is well aware that once I get a fleeting idea in my skull it tends to end up as some half-baked crack pop idea that may mean my death. It is something that they have gotten used to over the years of my thrill and adventure seeking.
So it was that I was asked, why not do this one for Aiden? Aiden is my cousin and a very bright, curious and energetic young man of 12 years. He has the misfortune of having DMD (Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy) this means that he is now bound to a wheelchair. This disease attacks the muscles and basically to my thinking, steals a child of his childhood. The normal games and play for Aiden are not possible as he will not get to climb a tree or get chased by farmers for ‘borrowing’ apples.
So I we set up a web page and got donations, all in all over £1000 for the event, as I like to add a charity edge to things that am doing if I can. This was supposed to be done on Jan 31st but as I said the weather had turned nasty, nasty being -11! That’s just not doable for this kind of endurance ride and then my Uncle Wally became very ill. So we ended up waiting for the call on Wally as he had the last rights but the family was all there.
Wally passed on the 11th and then the funeral arrangements had to be met, thoughts of the ride had left my head and thoughts of the family was all that consumed me. There is much I could say about my Uncle but without knowing him you would never understand what I was talking about and I lack the ability to give him credit in words. He was just such a steady and dependable presence in a family full of volatile emotions. You could always rely on Wally to be the calm head with the sound advice, never taking one side or the other in an argument, unless of course it was about his much beloved football team Liverpool FC, then you could go and "fudge" right off! He passed at home while holding his wife’s hand before letting out his last breath and turning to his side for the final sleep.
I waited and waited for what seemed to me to be an age, I have no patience when it comes to going out and doing things and four entire weeks past the dead line was enough to have me checking daily on the weather forecast. For a chance, just a glimmer of a chance that I could beat the weather but all that came up was snowdrifts and freezing fog! Either of these is enough to put me off and be sensible but both! Yeah that was just going to be suicide or even worse...failure!!
So I kept watching the google news and the weather channel while I did my courses at work. I had been forced to take a stack of firearms courses due to my time off from the bike crash in May 2008. That left me with a broken right leg, smashed left hand, some busted ribs and a fear of hitting large four wheeled metal objects. But all that had healed now and I was more than ready to get back out there on adventures.
I was keen to try out the Honda XL1000V Varadero to see how she would feel over twenty-four hours and not the odd 120-mile blips to work. Then the day came, I was sick of waiting and the weather had seemed to let up for a while. By that I mean that the lowest I was going to have to deal with was -3. -3 I thought, yeah that was doable as I had done that across Poland, it was painful but it was not going to kill me. Just "pee" me off a great deal and this time I was aware of the signs that I have when entering hypothermia. I knew I was going to be facing that again but I was confident that I would pull out in time and warm back up over the 24 hours.
I woke up at 12 noon on Saturday and looked out the large back patio window and to the sky, it was cloudy but it was white cloud and I was happy with that as cloud cover means that less heat buggers off straight up. I wanted and would need every degree of heat that I could get. I had still not got around to getting heated grips on the bike nor did I have any Gucci kit like a heated vest etc.
"fudge" IT! Was the main thought as I went up to the bedroom and pulled the kit out of the top shelf. Taken out slowly and with some pride as I put out my layers on the bed before stepping back and looking at the array of black garb. Mix and match stuff from my black romper suit from the firearms section, black sweat shirt, black t shirt, black jeans, black Sparda padded pant, black Altberg boots, black buff x 2, black winter storm rider gloves and my pride and joy the black and sliver Shoei. I recall just sitting there looking at it all laid out and ready to play and I nodded solemnly before starting my ritual red hot radox bath.
It is in the bath that I gather my thoughts and motivation as to why I am doing things. It is here that I visualise the victory and what I am going to face to make it happen. I prepare mentally for the physical discomfort and closing my eyes and breathing in the heavy scented salts that soaked in my muscles I remind myself of better men than I. Granted that laying in the bath thinking of men is not my normal past time, just to get that straight!
There were a few things that I was not happy with, the fact that I had planned to get some photography done but not been able to get around to it meant again there would be a lack of pictures. Something that I was very keen to rectify after some sterling advice from Boris. I will be looking to get my "poo poo" published at some stage if even just for my own sake. Boris runs a well-founded website forum / magazine called Bike Me and can be found at http://www.bikeme.tv/. I have been reading the forum on there for a while and you are a biker looking for straight talking intelligence with a strong flavour of male humour, then I very much advise a visit.
Click picture for link.
I had posted to a lot of forums on my write up about a ride to Kiev and back and I had a great deal of feedback. Some outstanding advice and some advice that I thought people could shove right up their pretentious arse. I think it wise to look and listen to all views before you come to find what you want as your style and your way! I am not a fluffy writer nor do I ever want to be, I will not be making a lot of long-winded paragraphs about social issues or observations that I think are "procreating" obvious. I write much the same way as I speak and I think it worth talking about then I will. If not then I am not going to talk about something just to beef up or nourish as one person put it, to appease those not inclined to understand what I am about and what I aim to achieve. So in the words of Aristotle “"fudge" em, "fudge" em all.”
Anyway, back to this bath thing and thinking about the ride, I had now made up my mind that I was doing it regardless of the weather. I had spoke to some members of the Blue Knights, a Cop buddy from work and also some members of the Iron Butt Association before I had my bath and let the words of advice wash over me. I am quick to hear advice but slow to take it until I think that it is the best course of action for me or indeed adapt that advice into what I think is the best way to go about it. It has served me well and I am always grateful to anyone that gives advice even if in the end I think that it sucks, they gave their time to give you that advice. This is a gift and you do not ignore a gift ever, even if you do not intend to use it in any form.
I had the advice, I had soaked in the bath and I laid my kit out on the bed. Was there anything more I could do? Of course, there was loads I could do and if you spend all your time planning and tweaking and then planning and tweaking then one thing is for certain, your going to miss doing the "procreating" thing in the first place. Plan it, check it, do it! If you don’t make it then tough "poo poo" and you lick your wounds and see why you didn’t. Planning is fabulous so don’t get me wrong and you should plan but just don’t over do it and look at every single possible outcome, you kill the adventure! Then again that is my advice and feel free to think about it and then think James, you can shove it am off to plan again. Good on you and more power to you don’t let some skinhead biker tell you what the "fudge" to do I say!
I left a note of a forum for my friends around the country on UKHippy, don’t even bother thinking of a label for these guys! Before you get the mental image of lentil sucking, sandal bashing burn the bra burnouts think again! It has been an utter privilage to be friends with the people that I have come to know and love on there. We meet up often for camping and indeed many are bikers themselves. Bikers and Hippies have more in common than any would dare to think. If you are a hardcore biker reading this and think that a ‘Hippy’ is weak then you have no idea about these people. They are as diverse as any group. Just like bikers have the crotch rocket, the big wing tourer, the adventure rider and the scooter jockey to name a few. So it is the same with UKHippy the people I care for are genuine warm and hardy people. They have a sense of identity, they buck at the establishment, they are very skilled at the outdoors, they cherish freedom and most of all the have a deep love and respect for nature and travel, sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too!
Click the image for the site link.
I put on my kit with a slow purpose as the black covered me from chin to toe and I walked outside and looked Lola over, checking her tyres, her oils, her grip, her forks and of course her lights. I put the key in and the HUD lights up with a whirling noise that I have come to love before I give a solid press on the start button and she growls like a lioness after her morning sleep. I check some spares in the Givi box and make sure Lola has enough lube in the Scott oilier for the trip, I pack a can of chain lube just to be sure. There was no way I was going to have my baby going dry on a long ride, that’s just no way to treat a lady!
I had a last stretch of the joints before I saddle up and pull the bike back out of the drive, still yet to put the helmet on as I always do that last so I can hear her engine pace and putter. I know if something is not right just from the sound she makes and communication between Lola and I is vital, given to the fact that she can kill me it is worth taking a few seconds to listen to what she has to say. She was happy and so I was happy and then my phone buzzed in my pocket.
It was Julian and Vicky from the Hippy site wishing me well and to let them know what stages I was at when I pit stopped. I smiled and chuckled, as it seemed I would not be taking this trip alone after all. They had also offered sandwiches, coffee and a sofa to sleep on (we avoided the word crash given my history!). It was perfect that Julian’s was going to be at the halfway point give or take and so I agreed with thanks before I set off.
Start off.
13.43hrs Saturday 31/jan/2009
I backed Lola out of the garage and let her warm up before I set the stand up and knocked the gears down to the solid click, a few quick blips and I set off out of the estate. I would need to get this event verified and for that I was going to need proof of where I am and when. So it was just a very short trip indeed of about 1.6 miles to the petrol station at the top of the road to fill up and bag my first vat receipt.
M58
It was cold but I could not feel any effects through my gear as yet, I checked that the gloves had covered snug and the boots had been covered to stop any up draft. The main places that get wind chill when I ride are my toes, my fingers and my jaw so it is always a great investment to check that nothing is getting through. What can start off as a bit of a draft or a slight niggle over 24 hours can become frostbite and agony.
I had been up and down the M58 so many times as I use it for work and I knew it was just a quick blast of 10 miles. I was in no great rush and just wishing to find my riding position and any small issues on this stretch so I set into cruise speed and found the best position I could. I had no heated grips or extended screen and being 6’2” I do tend to catch a lot of draft over the top of the guard.
The best thing I could do was lower my neck slightly and alternate my shoulder positions as I rode to take the edge off the windblast. It was already getting rather gusty just on this stretch. The google weather thing said nothing about bad winds but I was now finding that I had to lean into the wind to keep straight on track. The M58 is rather exposed to long flat rolling fields that offer no resistance to wind so I put the matter off from my mind and got on with it.
M6
I’ve also done this puppy on a daily basis and was not worried about the traffic at all, I was getting a tad of a twinge that the wind gusts had just kept on going all the way to Lancaster! If this goes on over 24 hours then I am worried that I will be exhausted from pushing back against the wind and making the leaning corrections for the bike.
I had now committed to the ride as I had let friends and family know via text, forum and face book so I was happy that I was going to give it the best shot that I could. I also kept in mind the advice from Roger (IBAUK) and Garmin Dave, better to stop and ride another day than over push and end up road kill. Sound advice indeed and I had no intention of getting killed but I was also aware that I am an egotistical son of a "dog" when it comes to getting things done. I would just have to hope that I would find the balance on this ride.
I had a concern about hypothermia and I knew I was going to get it on this trip and was more than willing to take it. The only issue with hypothermia is that it attacks your judgement! So your ability to know you have hypothermia is reduced by the fact that you have hypothermia, nasty eh! So I was going to work on a solid rule and stage one of hypothermia is uncontrolled shaking. So if in the course of the ride I start to shake, not just a brrr shiver but that deep muscle shudder then I would pull over and warm up regardless of how I thought I was mentally.
There is not a great deal to say about the M6 motorway ride as there is not much to see, just you and three lanes for the most part all the way up to Lancaster. I did cross over a canal bridge with a fantastic lock and house but was not in a position or mood to pull onto the hard shoulder and take a picture. I had only done about 30 miles of what was to be 1000+ miles.
What was more of an issue than nice things to see was the cold, bitter and sharp gusting winds that seemed to be getting that little bit stronger with each 1% or 10 miles that I did. This was how I was looking at the odometer, each 10 mile section means 1% closer to the end goal.
Stop Two Soutwaite Services
The views now had changed from flat rolling farms to the hilly peaks of the Lake District and wind had come up to match the size of the fells around me. Making perfect man carved wind tunnels and the added bonus of Eddie Stobbart and the boys in the other 18 wheelers thundering up. The issue on a bike in high wind when getting past a fat cage is the disruption the truck makes to the airflow. You get buffeted and it takes a steady nerve to power through, as you pass the front of the truck you also have to be ready for the counter rush of air that will smack you for a second as you break past the turbulence! I never liked the fact that bike training does not prepare you at all for this and I can imagine that people that transfer from car to bike will get quite the shock of how violent it can seem when you first glide past a trucker, just something to be aware of. Give the truck a wide line, have a look around you and not just at the road you want to be looking ahead for signs of wind power and direction.
Have you got birds playing in any thermals and up drafts, how are the top of the trees acting, is there long grass and has it been pressed down. If it has what direction and does it look like an air ripple over the top of it, if it has can you see a timing that can tell you how far ahead you may get a gust. There are a billion and one thing to look for and what I do is ride in the now and plan as far ahead as I can see about what I want to be doing when I get there and any impact factors that may effect my getting from here to there.
This is done while in motion so as a biker you should be constantly in a state of dual awareness, what is going on around me right now and what can I see ahead of me as far as I can see, this changes constantly as the plan becomes the now and the view unfolds before you as make more plans and adjustments.
If you are a seasoned rider then reading about sucking eggs but tough! You can handle it and there are plenty of lads and lasses out there that will not know about this and could do the worst thing anyone can on a bike....PANIC and SNATCH (that and wheelie on a busy motorway - I just want to smack you people that do that!). Am fine and dandy making risk assessments for my life and that dynamic risk is higher for me than I would be willing to go when that choice may mean others at risk.
You could well be on over 250 kg of metal that goes as fast as greased "poo poo" off a shiny shovel. That in the hands of a wanker is lethal and indeed the stats show this. I have no issue about bikers that get the big bang for their own stupid acts, over taking on solid white and being taken out by a tree. I feel bad for that tree and not the guy on the bike, he’s not even a biker or he would not have done that.
Who I feel for is the person that the guy hits doing these TRACK DAY manoeuvres on our roads. If you like to race just book one and stay off the roads with that mind set. Bikers have enough issues to contend with as we dodge blind cage drivers doing make up, changing a cd, eating a pasty, chatting on the mobile. Not to mention super slipy manhole covers, mud tracks, wet leaves, more and more paint signs on the roads (yes they freeze before tarmac, central reservations seemingly designed for the express purpose of cutting a biker in twain! I really don’t need the weekend biker on a Busa coming around a blind bend over solid whites on my side of the road doing 130 mph, I got enough "poo poo" to deal with as it is thanks!
What the "fudge" was I talking about now? Oh yeah, Southwaite services! So I pulled in for a fuel pit and open my Givi box to place my new receipt as the wind now wants to have a game of tag. I placed the receipt in the box and the wind picks it up and blows it across the forecourt at speed, Noooooo! A few things an Englishman does not like to do in public. 1. Run for public transport 2. Argue with a women (You know your never going to win and no man likes to lose in public!) 3. Fall, slip or trip on your arse! All of these things are however highly amusing to watch some other male doing!
So now I had to not only run after my spot of paper but also had to avoid number 3! Forecourts have diesel spills all over the place and it is more like a Krypton Factor obstacle course now than a petrol forecourt! Am sure that the Cagers had a smile at the sight of a 6’2” shaved down silver back in bike gear running after a slice of paper while jumping over oil and diesel spills with the majestic grace of a constipated rhino! I got my paper and stomped back to the bike, I placed the receipt in the holder of my wallet and shoved it in my pocket, no more running and this was now going to be the holding option of choice. A quick text message to Julian and I was off again on the road.
Scotland and stop three.
I powered down the slip road and back onto the M6 as I headed more and more up hill and into Scotland. The weather was getting colder but that was to be expected, not enjoyed I grant you but I was expecting it. I could see my breath coming through the face buff and into my helmet. I was pleased that the Shoei helmet comes with a very good anti mist screen and so I could see just fine.
I was making good speed and easy progress when I got passed Hamilton services and then I hit a snag! M8 Glasgow or M70 something for Glasgow, aw "poo poo"! Okay it was time to pull over and have a look at my directions. It was then that a sinking feeling hit me, I had a powerful visual image of leaving the house and the route being on the table by the phone, I never went back in to pick it up! Bollox!!! Remember what I said about over planning stuff? No? Good! Ignore it, plan and plan and then plan some more or you end up a few hundred miles into a trip and not having a bit of much needed kit. I refer you back to ‘I’m a moron’ statement as a disclaimer.
So I had to double back a few miles and see a sign for Edinburgh and another sign for Stirling. Now I know that Stirling is above Glasgow Soooooo if I head towards there, get a receipt and then come back down and get on the M8 for Edinburgh that should equal the miles...right? Well it was the best I could come up with as I was damn cold and in serious need of burst!
A80 and off towards a place called Wardpark! Yipee and I pulled in and filled up but I was on the wrong side of the forecourt and you had bollards across the middle for north and south bound! Bollard, motorbike, motorbike, bollard do I really want to see just how far north I have to go to find and turning point or did I want to just sort of slip past the bollard and go back the other way right now? I had a look and the place was empty, I got off the bike and had a look at the bollards and could see no reason for the separation other than stopping cars fuelling up in opposite directions. I had a think and there was no traffic law that I knew (Am not that hot on Scottish law and as long as I did not hit a wild haggis in the manoeuvre I think am safe). So I pulled through the bollards and zipped back down towards that M8 sign.
It was gone, the only sign I had now was Carlisle on the M74 (I think or 3) so I take that and think that the M8 must have a junction with that. I was right and it was some link road I had to take to get on the M8 east bound to Edinburgh stag night capitol of Europe!
It was now past 17:00 (5pm for you civilians) and very dark, the traffic was rather heavy I thought for a Saturday night and only two lanes for the most part. At least the winds had seemed to died down or perhaps I was more protected in the gully of the M8 either way I was happy not to be fighting with the wind.
I pulled into the Heart of Scotland pit stop to prove that I was on the M8 and grab what is called a Scotch pie! I checked the label for alcohol content first and then chowed down on that with a large hot chocolate. Am not a great fan but I was getting sick of coffee and fancied a change. My feet and hands are cold but not that painful and I was not shaking but I thought it best to premptive towards any shaking as I was making good time. I know lads and lasses from the UKIBA had done this SS1000 in 18 hours but I was going to take a lot longer with the weather conditions.
The SS1000 is the ‘baby’ entry level to the association and you cannot do the more challenging rides until you have done a basic. They are very hot on safe riding and not killing members, a rather good policy I thought. Jokes aside, if you are not able to be a Blue Knight or even if you are one then I recommend the UKIBA for anyone looking to get into distance riding, even if you are just thinking about how to improve your touring ability, these guys can help.
I have just noticed that I am page 8 and done 4 stops of 14! So I had better get a move on with this ride report as it turns into yet another James691 waffle and how not to do things report (albeit I will make the same mistakes again on the next one, see Moron disclaimer).
So yeah! I sent a quick text message to Julian and Vik and read their messages. I smiled while I had my hot chocolate and read about my friends on UKHip wishing me well. I was looking at the traffic going past and the night sky over the backdrop of mountains while I read them, it was rather cool and philosophically speaking what was the point of being alive if not to ride motorbikes, get laid and have friends and drink beer, Athenians over complicate things I thought with a nod. Keep it simple chaps and all will work out fine, look what happened to Alexander after Aristotle and his mum got done with him and what a little gem he turned out to be! Make things too complicated and you always seem to end up with bloke thinking he is god.
GET ON WITH THE RIDE REPORT JAMES!!!
Oh yeah!! So I was warmed and had some type of animal fat pie swirling in hot chocolate in my stomach as I hit the signs for the A1 and Berwick on Tweed. That HAD to be England no Scotsman would name a town or city ‘on Tweed! There will be some historical reason am sure why the English name the City and the river it is on but I have no idea what it is while I ride through the freezing night. Stoke on Trent as apposed to what? Is there another Stoke in the country. Morning! am here for the meeting. Ah sorry mate but your in Stoke they sent the memo that the meeting had changed to Stoke on Trent office!? God knows and as he/she and I are not on speaking terms am not likely to find out any time soon.
But then I follow the A1 and god all of a sudden wants to have a chat, in the form of blustering gale force winds of -3. Am still not speaking to him/her and carry on as best I can ignoring the conversation but I do have to slow right down as am being pushed to the side of the road. The issue here on the A1 as you come around and down towards Berwick is that it is mainly a drop of 20feet at the side of the road that am being blown at. So I am back to micro adjustments to position, power, traction and lean.
It was slower going and not a sign of any fancy scenery as it is pitch black, the advantage that I have is when the road goes to single lane I can still get past the slower cars and be on my way. This was only done when I was sure I safe to do so and give the car a very wide berth. Thing is I was starting to get cold much quicker now and would need to stop to ensure I do not go hypothermic. The visor in the Shoei was excellent but if was starting to freeze at the edges and that made a sort of kaleidoscope view of any light that hit me.
There are road works going on all the way down the sodding A1 towards the M1 and mile after mile or fluorescent cones. I mean thousands of the buggers and the light bouncing off them was getting caught in the ice mist in the left hand corner of the visor and making my vision look like something from a Pink Floyd video.
I was less than happy with the situation as it was getting rather hypnotic so I got into the first P (parking area) I could and de-kitted. Getting my focus back and giving the visor a damn good clean while I stretched out my muscles. It was then that it dawned on me that I had seen another single biker on the roads all night!
Perhaps that says a lot about the conditions and their superior ability to read weather forecasts! I got a text message from one of the Blue Knights about good luck beating the front. Front? What front? Well it seemed that there was a snowstorm coming in the morning all the way from Russia just for me! Aw "poo poo"! So it was back on the bike and a quick fuel and go at Berwick having done some 328 miles or 32% as I was looking at it.
It was getting colder and colder the further south I headed and I thought it rather odd that the south was colder than the north but then thinking about it, it was getting later and later and I was getting weaker and weaker so I was more prone to the effects. Something to keep in mind and I was indeed getting tired from fighting the wind for over 400miles now as I made a pit stop
Stop 6
Washington services on the A1(M), that was it, I was almost done! Just a coffee and a good long warm up before I set right back off again down the road. It was getting rather serious now with 402 miles on the trip computer and I wanted that 50% done and dusted but was in no condition to hammer the miles and the weather was not going to let up. So it was a text message to Julian and a smile while I read some from friends. My good friend Sandy from Australia had sent me a message of good wishes also. Baking in the hot sun I am sure with a snap freeze my arse off in the UK. Thank you my friend, you have always been there for me and with me in times of hardship and joy over the years.
Stop 7
Woolley Edge services and I now starting to see signs for London but no mileage on the signs of how far away it is! Am taking a break and getting something to eat I think Julian’s is about another 200 miles but am just not prepared to risk it. My feet hurt, my hands hurt, am tired and utterly "messed" off with fighting wind gusts.
So I trudge into the empty service station at 22.30hrs and look for something to eat. There is a very friendly plump smiling girl behind the counter but the hot food counter is very bare! I force a smile and ask what is available to eat hot and I get told she can do me a chicken burger. Fine, I ‘ll have what ever as I realise I’ve only eaten that animal fat Scotch pie so far. She smiled and told me she would ‘bring it over t’ table when ready’. T’ table, what the hell! She was not using the word THE, there was no way I could still be up in the North was there?!? It has long been a pet hate of mine, no doubt because Manchester do the same thing but dropping the ‘he from the word the drove me nuts. It is like it is some great effort to move your mouth when you go into Manchester and Lancashire! People ‘off t’ shop’ and any other way they can find of chopping down a sentence. Your not THAT busy for "fudge" sake and my hometown is no better but this done to names of things and people. Any and everyone’s name is instantly chopped in half and an o or y stuck on the end. So O'Brien, you are now Oby, Jackson no longer, Jacko. What I have found odd is that we Liverpudlians will do this even if it makes the name longer! But regardless we will change everyone's name and the names of any shop, place or indeed any name we can get our hands on.
You can go to my cousins and chop every name in the house as you meet Anthony (Tony), Karen, Ashley, Bobbi, Aiden and Toni. Al’right To’, Ka’, Bob, Aid’ and Little To is perfectly acceptable language. Now add to this that the ch is of course pronounced with a slight tickled cough sound and the start of a sentence can be combined with the facial feature of having just stubbed you toe and you should do fine in Liverpool. Don’t forget to bob your head from side to side in the same pitch and rhythm as you speak!
Where was I? Oh yeah Woolley Edge chicken burger! I plonked down in a large fake leather brown double seater and ate my food slowly, I was not hungry and that is odd in its self for me and so I knew I would have to force food in and then rest until I was warm.
I gave Julian a call and told him that I was in a "poo poo" state and had to rest, he understood fully and being a biker with no less than 3 bikes, one being a Harley it was easy for him to comprehend my difficulty. I had a chomped off more than I could chew? Possibly but I was not about to stop giving it a go, it was just going to be close was all. Julian and Vik seemed very optimistic about how much I had done and how much time I had left to get the trip done.
I left there at about 23.30 taking a good 45 mins to settle and get my focus and feeling back before I set off to Julian’s in Rugby. I hit the road a little slower to get back on the bike this time but still having a sound resolve that I could make it due to a good rest and a nasty chicken burger.
Stop 8
Julian and Vik’s at last!
I made it to Rugby and I think I went the long way and got a little lost in the town centre as I was about 5 miles out from my trip computer to my satnav reading from Julian! Am sure the UKIBA can work it out anyway and they will have all the recipes that I have plus a contact for Julian to check that I was there.
I pulled into the Police station in Rugby home of the famous game!
With a quick call to my friends to come and guide me to the house. I was "messed" beyond reason and in no mood to try and navigate a town (does Rugby have a cathedral?) city? Whatever! I did not want to do this and Julian was kind enough to come and get me.
Julian and Vik had been updating the lads and lasses on the UKHippy site about where I was and what condition I was in as I sent a message that I was alive at each service station.
Getting into Julian’s with 614 miles done I was so glad to have got that 50% out of the way and though it is psychosomatic! It does give you a boost that the rest is sort of down hill and you are no longer heading away from home but back to it.
So I set my kit down by the fire and gave my friend a hug, a mug of coffee was waiting for me and an egg and bacon sandwich. I just could not eat and just wanted to sleep but I wanted to see how the ride was going as I did not have a satnav. Julian punched in the receipt codes on the Google map and I was doing the same miles as I had tripped in fact I was a little behind the Google map and that was rather odd as I would have thought it the other way around! But then again I had cut through the bollards on that A80 so perhaps that saved me a few miles. I will have to give that a good check before I submit all the paperwork to the UKIBA!
Vik gets me the biggest, thickest and warmest blanket that I have ever seen and I flop down on the cream leather sofa. Being rather tall my legs dangle over the arm and that’s just fine with me as the guys flick the lights off and leave me to rest. Wake up call is for 04.00hrs Sunday 1st Feb 2009.
I thought that I would be too pumped to sleep and lying on the sofa I recall thinking, ah man am just not going to be able to Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Then it was 4am! Vik was waking me with a coffee and Julian was taking my stuff from by the fire and noticed that I had not put the artic liner in the armour jacket! What a Moron but then I think we have covered that rather extensively by now!
So I kit up with care and check all my stuff as we have a motivational chat and goodbye hug, all in all the gear check and so on takes about 30mins and I set off from Julian’s at 04.36 taking a quick picture of my trip computer.
400 Miles to go, that’s all just 400 miles and I am confident that I can make at least 200 of them! So down south we go!
Stops 9 and 10
Watford Gap and Toddling services are done and I am making more and more stops with less and less miles but I was not that confident down south. Main reason being is that the roadwork is so thick that you could make a lot of cuts that I might not have proof that I did not take. So I stopped at most of them if even just for £3 of fuel to get the ticket.
M25 stops 10 and 11.
South Mimms service station and the start of the ring road and lots of 40 mph road work speed restrictions! Grrr but at least I was still going forward and onward, I would need to go the long way around the M25 and so I headed in the direction of East, easy enough as the names mean nothing to me. I’d always thought Barnet was a hat or hairstyle but seems it’s a place! Every day’s a school day!
I made another pull in at the Clacket Lane service station on the M25 on the far side to prove that I did not just nip across to the M4 and carry on past a free tunnel for motorcycle and some bridge again this shows as free for motorcycles, result!
The bridge, am sure that everyone south of the Watford gap knows is "procreating" huge! I’d never heard of it and it just goes up and up and up and then up some more. It appears to be a suspension bridge as I can see the wires and I can see the buildings getting smaller and smaller!
There is no real rail at the sides and I had a genuine concern or as I like to say ’I shat myself’ as to be so exposed in the elements of these winds! I slowed right down to 35 to 40 mph and was looking around for signs of gusts like an own on amphetamine. I don’t have a fear of heights but I do object to being blown off a great height and into -3 water a few hundred feet below. Granted I could take some small solace in the fact that I would more than likely be dead or knocked out on impact but if it was all the same with everyone else I’d prefer to give the whole experience a miss!
M4 Stop 12 ReadingI was over that nightmare bridge in the pitch dark and howling winds and off down the M4, this must have been around 07.00 hrs now and as I plodded along I could see a small trail of bikers on the other side heading towards London. Yay for bikers and not just bikers but many on big cruisers, HD’s and custom jobs. I was freezing but this really did cheer me up and the normal flash of lights to each other and helmet nodding of fellow bikers was a godsend. I thought these guys must be serious nutters to be out in this weather for a cruise. Then it dawned on me, the London Motorcycle show on!! I was heading away from it plus would never of had the time to pop in anyway but I did think that perhaps some of the riders may have been UKIBA members. So if anyone caught sight of a guy all in black on a silver Honda Varadero heading in the wrong direction to the bike show at about 07.00 to 07.45 hrs that was me!
M5 Stop 13
I made a longer trek on this one as I could not think of a short cut to get to the M5 from the M4 so I would be safe to just plough along it and I was showing about 830 miles on the trip so I would not need to go into Cardiff and headed right up the M5 for Bristol signs.
I did make a stop on the M5 just to make sure there was proof and stopped at the Michael Wood Services with 879 miles showing at about 09.30 hrs.
I was not so much cold but I was getting seriously tired now and I just pulled in and lay on the path for a while just to gather some strength and make sure I was not going to be a risk to myself or other road users. It was vital to me that I was tired but not so tired as to be a risk. There are many a sign as you come up the M5 saying ‘take a break tiredness can kill’ good advice.
I had a walk and a think about the last push and did some simple math in my head just to check that I was ok. I was paranoid about being so tired or cold that I would not be aware that I was tired or cold. Simple maths and eye hand co-ordination is always a good one. After walking around and having a stretch, playing high throw catch with my keys to see if I could catch them one handed and some maths games I was happy to blast for home.
The route I would be taking is the only route that I know of and so I was happy that I could get a receipt in Liverpool to prove that I made the last bolt from Michael Wood to home.
It’s still odd to ride off in daylight, ride through the cold and oh so bitter night to be riding again in the daylight. People are now back on the motorways going to where every they are going and have no idea what you have just put yourself through. Indeed you have no idea what each driver out that morning has just gone through the night before either.
The main focus in my mind was home, home, home, home! But I had to be aware that the flow of traffic was for thicker now as I pulled across onto the M62 to take me to the M57 and that means home, I looked down at the trip computer and I had done over 1000 miles in under 24 hours. If there was anything wrong with the paperwork etc I really did not care at this stage I just wanted to get home and get back into that bathtub.
One last stop.
Service station in Liverpool with 1040 miles on the clock as I filled up and headed to my home, pulling into the garages and taking that last snap of the trip computer. 1043.3 Miles at 12.41 pm Sunday 1st Feb 2009.
Job done and good night
For Aiden and Wally.
Saddle Sore 1000 Challenge
Authenticated by the United Kingdom Iron Butt Association and Blue Knights Motorcycle Club.
Done with the help and many thanks to Nick Sanders for his kind words of inspiration and generous donations. You can find Nick's latest book 'Parallel World' a motorbiking trip of some 41 countries and the account of Nick's FINAL world trip by clicking the below link.
The date was Saturday the 31st January 2009 and I was supposed to do a 1000 mile motorcycle ride in under 24 hours on January 1st! A session of bad weather and bad news had made that impossible for me to achieve. Why was I doing this in winter you may well ask, the answer is simple, I’m a moron. One of those morons that never quite grew up and more important has no intention of ever fully growing up. I am one of those people that lack the ability to see danger and instead see an exciting adventure and opportunity to test myself.
The idea had come from another distance ride I had done to Kiev back last year and I was talking with the family about doing another to many a groan of ‘oh he’s at it again’. My family is well aware that once I get a fleeting idea in my skull it tends to end up as some half-baked crack pop idea that may mean my death. It is something that they have gotten used to over the years of my thrill and adventure seeking.
So it was that I was asked, why not do this one for Aiden? Aiden is my cousin and a very bright, curious and energetic young man of 12 years. He has the misfortune of having DMD (Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy) this means that he is now bound to a wheelchair. This disease attacks the muscles and basically to my thinking, steals a child of his childhood. The normal games and play for Aiden are not possible as he will not get to climb a tree or get chased by farmers for ‘borrowing’ apples.
So I we set up a web page and got donations, all in all over £1000 for the event, as I like to add a charity edge to things that am doing if I can. This was supposed to be done on Jan 31st but as I said the weather had turned nasty, nasty being -11! That’s just not doable for this kind of endurance ride and then my Uncle Wally became very ill. So we ended up waiting for the call on Wally as he had the last rights but the family was all there.
Wally passed on the 11th and then the funeral arrangements had to be met, thoughts of the ride had left my head and thoughts of the family was all that consumed me. There is much I could say about my Uncle but without knowing him you would never understand what I was talking about and I lack the ability to give him credit in words. He was just such a steady and dependable presence in a family full of volatile emotions. You could always rely on Wally to be the calm head with the sound advice, never taking one side or the other in an argument, unless of course it was about his much beloved football team Liverpool FC, then you could go and "fudge" right off! He passed at home while holding his wife’s hand before letting out his last breath and turning to his side for the final sleep.
I waited and waited for what seemed to me to be an age, I have no patience when it comes to going out and doing things and four entire weeks past the dead line was enough to have me checking daily on the weather forecast. For a chance, just a glimmer of a chance that I could beat the weather but all that came up was snowdrifts and freezing fog! Either of these is enough to put me off and be sensible but both! Yeah that was just going to be suicide or even worse...failure!!
So I kept watching the google news and the weather channel while I did my courses at work. I had been forced to take a stack of firearms courses due to my time off from the bike crash in May 2008. That left me with a broken right leg, smashed left hand, some busted ribs and a fear of hitting large four wheeled metal objects. But all that had healed now and I was more than ready to get back out there on adventures.
I was keen to try out the Honda XL1000V Varadero to see how she would feel over twenty-four hours and not the odd 120-mile blips to work. Then the day came, I was sick of waiting and the weather had seemed to let up for a while. By that I mean that the lowest I was going to have to deal with was -3. -3 I thought, yeah that was doable as I had done that across Poland, it was painful but it was not going to kill me. Just "pee" me off a great deal and this time I was aware of the signs that I have when entering hypothermia. I knew I was going to be facing that again but I was confident that I would pull out in time and warm back up over the 24 hours.
I woke up at 12 noon on Saturday and looked out the large back patio window and to the sky, it was cloudy but it was white cloud and I was happy with that as cloud cover means that less heat buggers off straight up. I wanted and would need every degree of heat that I could get. I had still not got around to getting heated grips on the bike nor did I have any Gucci kit like a heated vest etc.
"fudge" IT! Was the main thought as I went up to the bedroom and pulled the kit out of the top shelf. Taken out slowly and with some pride as I put out my layers on the bed before stepping back and looking at the array of black garb. Mix and match stuff from my black romper suit from the firearms section, black sweat shirt, black t shirt, black jeans, black Sparda padded pant, black Altberg boots, black buff x 2, black winter storm rider gloves and my pride and joy the black and sliver Shoei. I recall just sitting there looking at it all laid out and ready to play and I nodded solemnly before starting my ritual red hot radox bath.
It is in the bath that I gather my thoughts and motivation as to why I am doing things. It is here that I visualise the victory and what I am going to face to make it happen. I prepare mentally for the physical discomfort and closing my eyes and breathing in the heavy scented salts that soaked in my muscles I remind myself of better men than I. Granted that laying in the bath thinking of men is not my normal past time, just to get that straight!
There were a few things that I was not happy with, the fact that I had planned to get some photography done but not been able to get around to it meant again there would be a lack of pictures. Something that I was very keen to rectify after some sterling advice from Boris. I will be looking to get my "poo poo" published at some stage if even just for my own sake. Boris runs a well-founded website forum / magazine called Bike Me and can be found at http://www.bikeme.tv/. I have been reading the forum on there for a while and you are a biker looking for straight talking intelligence with a strong flavour of male humour, then I very much advise a visit.
Click picture for link.
I had posted to a lot of forums on my write up about a ride to Kiev and back and I had a great deal of feedback. Some outstanding advice and some advice that I thought people could shove right up their pretentious arse. I think it wise to look and listen to all views before you come to find what you want as your style and your way! I am not a fluffy writer nor do I ever want to be, I will not be making a lot of long-winded paragraphs about social issues or observations that I think are "procreating" obvious. I write much the same way as I speak and I think it worth talking about then I will. If not then I am not going to talk about something just to beef up or nourish as one person put it, to appease those not inclined to understand what I am about and what I aim to achieve. So in the words of Aristotle “"fudge" em, "fudge" em all.”
Anyway, back to this bath thing and thinking about the ride, I had now made up my mind that I was doing it regardless of the weather. I had spoke to some members of the Blue Knights, a Cop buddy from work and also some members of the Iron Butt Association before I had my bath and let the words of advice wash over me. I am quick to hear advice but slow to take it until I think that it is the best course of action for me or indeed adapt that advice into what I think is the best way to go about it. It has served me well and I am always grateful to anyone that gives advice even if in the end I think that it sucks, they gave their time to give you that advice. This is a gift and you do not ignore a gift ever, even if you do not intend to use it in any form.
I had the advice, I had soaked in the bath and I laid my kit out on the bed. Was there anything more I could do? Of course, there was loads I could do and if you spend all your time planning and tweaking and then planning and tweaking then one thing is for certain, your going to miss doing the "procreating" thing in the first place. Plan it, check it, do it! If you don’t make it then tough "poo poo" and you lick your wounds and see why you didn’t. Planning is fabulous so don’t get me wrong and you should plan but just don’t over do it and look at every single possible outcome, you kill the adventure! Then again that is my advice and feel free to think about it and then think James, you can shove it am off to plan again. Good on you and more power to you don’t let some skinhead biker tell you what the "fudge" to do I say!
I left a note of a forum for my friends around the country on UKHippy, don’t even bother thinking of a label for these guys! Before you get the mental image of lentil sucking, sandal bashing burn the bra burnouts think again! It has been an utter privilage to be friends with the people that I have come to know and love on there. We meet up often for camping and indeed many are bikers themselves. Bikers and Hippies have more in common than any would dare to think. If you are a hardcore biker reading this and think that a ‘Hippy’ is weak then you have no idea about these people. They are as diverse as any group. Just like bikers have the crotch rocket, the big wing tourer, the adventure rider and the scooter jockey to name a few. So it is the same with UKHippy the people I care for are genuine warm and hardy people. They have a sense of identity, they buck at the establishment, they are very skilled at the outdoors, they cherish freedom and most of all the have a deep love and respect for nature and travel, sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too!
Click the image for the site link.
I put on my kit with a slow purpose as the black covered me from chin to toe and I walked outside and looked Lola over, checking her tyres, her oils, her grip, her forks and of course her lights. I put the key in and the HUD lights up with a whirling noise that I have come to love before I give a solid press on the start button and she growls like a lioness after her morning sleep. I check some spares in the Givi box and make sure Lola has enough lube in the Scott oilier for the trip, I pack a can of chain lube just to be sure. There was no way I was going to have my baby going dry on a long ride, that’s just no way to treat a lady!
I had a last stretch of the joints before I saddle up and pull the bike back out of the drive, still yet to put the helmet on as I always do that last so I can hear her engine pace and putter. I know if something is not right just from the sound she makes and communication between Lola and I is vital, given to the fact that she can kill me it is worth taking a few seconds to listen to what she has to say. She was happy and so I was happy and then my phone buzzed in my pocket.
It was Julian and Vicky from the Hippy site wishing me well and to let them know what stages I was at when I pit stopped. I smiled and chuckled, as it seemed I would not be taking this trip alone after all. They had also offered sandwiches, coffee and a sofa to sleep on (we avoided the word crash given my history!). It was perfect that Julian’s was going to be at the halfway point give or take and so I agreed with thanks before I set off.
Start off.
13.43hrs Saturday 31/jan/2009
I backed Lola out of the garage and let her warm up before I set the stand up and knocked the gears down to the solid click, a few quick blips and I set off out of the estate. I would need to get this event verified and for that I was going to need proof of where I am and when. So it was just a very short trip indeed of about 1.6 miles to the petrol station at the top of the road to fill up and bag my first vat receipt.
M58
It was cold but I could not feel any effects through my gear as yet, I checked that the gloves had covered snug and the boots had been covered to stop any up draft. The main places that get wind chill when I ride are my toes, my fingers and my jaw so it is always a great investment to check that nothing is getting through. What can start off as a bit of a draft or a slight niggle over 24 hours can become frostbite and agony.
I had been up and down the M58 so many times as I use it for work and I knew it was just a quick blast of 10 miles. I was in no great rush and just wishing to find my riding position and any small issues on this stretch so I set into cruise speed and found the best position I could. I had no heated grips or extended screen and being 6’2” I do tend to catch a lot of draft over the top of the guard.
The best thing I could do was lower my neck slightly and alternate my shoulder positions as I rode to take the edge off the windblast. It was already getting rather gusty just on this stretch. The google weather thing said nothing about bad winds but I was now finding that I had to lean into the wind to keep straight on track. The M58 is rather exposed to long flat rolling fields that offer no resistance to wind so I put the matter off from my mind and got on with it.
M6
I’ve also done this puppy on a daily basis and was not worried about the traffic at all, I was getting a tad of a twinge that the wind gusts had just kept on going all the way to Lancaster! If this goes on over 24 hours then I am worried that I will be exhausted from pushing back against the wind and making the leaning corrections for the bike.
I had now committed to the ride as I had let friends and family know via text, forum and face book so I was happy that I was going to give it the best shot that I could. I also kept in mind the advice from Roger (IBAUK) and Garmin Dave, better to stop and ride another day than over push and end up road kill. Sound advice indeed and I had no intention of getting killed but I was also aware that I am an egotistical son of a "dog" when it comes to getting things done. I would just have to hope that I would find the balance on this ride.
I had a concern about hypothermia and I knew I was going to get it on this trip and was more than willing to take it. The only issue with hypothermia is that it attacks your judgement! So your ability to know you have hypothermia is reduced by the fact that you have hypothermia, nasty eh! So I was going to work on a solid rule and stage one of hypothermia is uncontrolled shaking. So if in the course of the ride I start to shake, not just a brrr shiver but that deep muscle shudder then I would pull over and warm up regardless of how I thought I was mentally.
There is not a great deal to say about the M6 motorway ride as there is not much to see, just you and three lanes for the most part all the way up to Lancaster. I did cross over a canal bridge with a fantastic lock and house but was not in a position or mood to pull onto the hard shoulder and take a picture. I had only done about 30 miles of what was to be 1000+ miles.
What was more of an issue than nice things to see was the cold, bitter and sharp gusting winds that seemed to be getting that little bit stronger with each 1% or 10 miles that I did. This was how I was looking at the odometer, each 10 mile section means 1% closer to the end goal.
Stop Two Soutwaite Services
The views now had changed from flat rolling farms to the hilly peaks of the Lake District and wind had come up to match the size of the fells around me. Making perfect man carved wind tunnels and the added bonus of Eddie Stobbart and the boys in the other 18 wheelers thundering up. The issue on a bike in high wind when getting past a fat cage is the disruption the truck makes to the airflow. You get buffeted and it takes a steady nerve to power through, as you pass the front of the truck you also have to be ready for the counter rush of air that will smack you for a second as you break past the turbulence! I never liked the fact that bike training does not prepare you at all for this and I can imagine that people that transfer from car to bike will get quite the shock of how violent it can seem when you first glide past a trucker, just something to be aware of. Give the truck a wide line, have a look around you and not just at the road you want to be looking ahead for signs of wind power and direction.
Have you got birds playing in any thermals and up drafts, how are the top of the trees acting, is there long grass and has it been pressed down. If it has what direction and does it look like an air ripple over the top of it, if it has can you see a timing that can tell you how far ahead you may get a gust. There are a billion and one thing to look for and what I do is ride in the now and plan as far ahead as I can see about what I want to be doing when I get there and any impact factors that may effect my getting from here to there.
This is done while in motion so as a biker you should be constantly in a state of dual awareness, what is going on around me right now and what can I see ahead of me as far as I can see, this changes constantly as the plan becomes the now and the view unfolds before you as make more plans and adjustments.
If you are a seasoned rider then reading about sucking eggs but tough! You can handle it and there are plenty of lads and lasses out there that will not know about this and could do the worst thing anyone can on a bike....PANIC and SNATCH (that and wheelie on a busy motorway - I just want to smack you people that do that!). Am fine and dandy making risk assessments for my life and that dynamic risk is higher for me than I would be willing to go when that choice may mean others at risk.
You could well be on over 250 kg of metal that goes as fast as greased "poo poo" off a shiny shovel. That in the hands of a wanker is lethal and indeed the stats show this. I have no issue about bikers that get the big bang for their own stupid acts, over taking on solid white and being taken out by a tree. I feel bad for that tree and not the guy on the bike, he’s not even a biker or he would not have done that.
Who I feel for is the person that the guy hits doing these TRACK DAY manoeuvres on our roads. If you like to race just book one and stay off the roads with that mind set. Bikers have enough issues to contend with as we dodge blind cage drivers doing make up, changing a cd, eating a pasty, chatting on the mobile. Not to mention super slipy manhole covers, mud tracks, wet leaves, more and more paint signs on the roads (yes they freeze before tarmac, central reservations seemingly designed for the express purpose of cutting a biker in twain! I really don’t need the weekend biker on a Busa coming around a blind bend over solid whites on my side of the road doing 130 mph, I got enough "poo poo" to deal with as it is thanks!
What the "fudge" was I talking about now? Oh yeah, Southwaite services! So I pulled in for a fuel pit and open my Givi box to place my new receipt as the wind now wants to have a game of tag. I placed the receipt in the box and the wind picks it up and blows it across the forecourt at speed, Noooooo! A few things an Englishman does not like to do in public. 1. Run for public transport 2. Argue with a women (You know your never going to win and no man likes to lose in public!) 3. Fall, slip or trip on your arse! All of these things are however highly amusing to watch some other male doing!
So now I had to not only run after my spot of paper but also had to avoid number 3! Forecourts have diesel spills all over the place and it is more like a Krypton Factor obstacle course now than a petrol forecourt! Am sure that the Cagers had a smile at the sight of a 6’2” shaved down silver back in bike gear running after a slice of paper while jumping over oil and diesel spills with the majestic grace of a constipated rhino! I got my paper and stomped back to the bike, I placed the receipt in the holder of my wallet and shoved it in my pocket, no more running and this was now going to be the holding option of choice. A quick text message to Julian and I was off again on the road.
Scotland and stop three.
I powered down the slip road and back onto the M6 as I headed more and more up hill and into Scotland. The weather was getting colder but that was to be expected, not enjoyed I grant you but I was expecting it. I could see my breath coming through the face buff and into my helmet. I was pleased that the Shoei helmet comes with a very good anti mist screen and so I could see just fine.
I was making good speed and easy progress when I got passed Hamilton services and then I hit a snag! M8 Glasgow or M70 something for Glasgow, aw "poo poo"! Okay it was time to pull over and have a look at my directions. It was then that a sinking feeling hit me, I had a powerful visual image of leaving the house and the route being on the table by the phone, I never went back in to pick it up! Bollox!!! Remember what I said about over planning stuff? No? Good! Ignore it, plan and plan and then plan some more or you end up a few hundred miles into a trip and not having a bit of much needed kit. I refer you back to ‘I’m a moron’ statement as a disclaimer.
So I had to double back a few miles and see a sign for Edinburgh and another sign for Stirling. Now I know that Stirling is above Glasgow Soooooo if I head towards there, get a receipt and then come back down and get on the M8 for Edinburgh that should equal the miles...right? Well it was the best I could come up with as I was damn cold and in serious need of burst!
A80 and off towards a place called Wardpark! Yipee and I pulled in and filled up but I was on the wrong side of the forecourt and you had bollards across the middle for north and south bound! Bollard, motorbike, motorbike, bollard do I really want to see just how far north I have to go to find and turning point or did I want to just sort of slip past the bollard and go back the other way right now? I had a look and the place was empty, I got off the bike and had a look at the bollards and could see no reason for the separation other than stopping cars fuelling up in opposite directions. I had a think and there was no traffic law that I knew (Am not that hot on Scottish law and as long as I did not hit a wild haggis in the manoeuvre I think am safe). So I pulled through the bollards and zipped back down towards that M8 sign.
It was gone, the only sign I had now was Carlisle on the M74 (I think or 3) so I take that and think that the M8 must have a junction with that. I was right and it was some link road I had to take to get on the M8 east bound to Edinburgh stag night capitol of Europe!
It was now past 17:00 (5pm for you civilians) and very dark, the traffic was rather heavy I thought for a Saturday night and only two lanes for the most part. At least the winds had seemed to died down or perhaps I was more protected in the gully of the M8 either way I was happy not to be fighting with the wind.
I pulled into the Heart of Scotland pit stop to prove that I was on the M8 and grab what is called a Scotch pie! I checked the label for alcohol content first and then chowed down on that with a large hot chocolate. Am not a great fan but I was getting sick of coffee and fancied a change. My feet and hands are cold but not that painful and I was not shaking but I thought it best to premptive towards any shaking as I was making good time. I know lads and lasses from the UKIBA had done this SS1000 in 18 hours but I was going to take a lot longer with the weather conditions.
The SS1000 is the ‘baby’ entry level to the association and you cannot do the more challenging rides until you have done a basic. They are very hot on safe riding and not killing members, a rather good policy I thought. Jokes aside, if you are not able to be a Blue Knight or even if you are one then I recommend the UKIBA for anyone looking to get into distance riding, even if you are just thinking about how to improve your touring ability, these guys can help.
I have just noticed that I am page 8 and done 4 stops of 14! So I had better get a move on with this ride report as it turns into yet another James691 waffle and how not to do things report (albeit I will make the same mistakes again on the next one, see Moron disclaimer).
So yeah! I sent a quick text message to Julian and Vik and read their messages. I smiled while I had my hot chocolate and read about my friends on UKHip wishing me well. I was looking at the traffic going past and the night sky over the backdrop of mountains while I read them, it was rather cool and philosophically speaking what was the point of being alive if not to ride motorbikes, get laid and have friends and drink beer, Athenians over complicate things I thought with a nod. Keep it simple chaps and all will work out fine, look what happened to Alexander after Aristotle and his mum got done with him and what a little gem he turned out to be! Make things too complicated and you always seem to end up with bloke thinking he is god.
GET ON WITH THE RIDE REPORT JAMES!!!
Oh yeah!! So I was warmed and had some type of animal fat pie swirling in hot chocolate in my stomach as I hit the signs for the A1 and Berwick on Tweed. That HAD to be England no Scotsman would name a town or city ‘on Tweed! There will be some historical reason am sure why the English name the City and the river it is on but I have no idea what it is while I ride through the freezing night. Stoke on Trent as apposed to what? Is there another Stoke in the country. Morning! am here for the meeting. Ah sorry mate but your in Stoke they sent the memo that the meeting had changed to Stoke on Trent office!? God knows and as he/she and I are not on speaking terms am not likely to find out any time soon.
But then I follow the A1 and god all of a sudden wants to have a chat, in the form of blustering gale force winds of -3. Am still not speaking to him/her and carry on as best I can ignoring the conversation but I do have to slow right down as am being pushed to the side of the road. The issue here on the A1 as you come around and down towards Berwick is that it is mainly a drop of 20feet at the side of the road that am being blown at. So I am back to micro adjustments to position, power, traction and lean.
It was slower going and not a sign of any fancy scenery as it is pitch black, the advantage that I have is when the road goes to single lane I can still get past the slower cars and be on my way. This was only done when I was sure I safe to do so and give the car a very wide berth. Thing is I was starting to get cold much quicker now and would need to stop to ensure I do not go hypothermic. The visor in the Shoei was excellent but if was starting to freeze at the edges and that made a sort of kaleidoscope view of any light that hit me.
There are road works going on all the way down the sodding A1 towards the M1 and mile after mile or fluorescent cones. I mean thousands of the buggers and the light bouncing off them was getting caught in the ice mist in the left hand corner of the visor and making my vision look like something from a Pink Floyd video.
I was less than happy with the situation as it was getting rather hypnotic so I got into the first P (parking area) I could and de-kitted. Getting my focus back and giving the visor a damn good clean while I stretched out my muscles. It was then that it dawned on me that I had seen another single biker on the roads all night!
Perhaps that says a lot about the conditions and their superior ability to read weather forecasts! I got a text message from one of the Blue Knights about good luck beating the front. Front? What front? Well it seemed that there was a snowstorm coming in the morning all the way from Russia just for me! Aw "poo poo"! So it was back on the bike and a quick fuel and go at Berwick having done some 328 miles or 32% as I was looking at it.
It was getting colder and colder the further south I headed and I thought it rather odd that the south was colder than the north but then thinking about it, it was getting later and later and I was getting weaker and weaker so I was more prone to the effects. Something to keep in mind and I was indeed getting tired from fighting the wind for over 400miles now as I made a pit stop
Stop 6
Washington services on the A1(M), that was it, I was almost done! Just a coffee and a good long warm up before I set right back off again down the road. It was getting rather serious now with 402 miles on the trip computer and I wanted that 50% done and dusted but was in no condition to hammer the miles and the weather was not going to let up. So it was a text message to Julian and a smile while I read some from friends. My good friend Sandy from Australia had sent me a message of good wishes also. Baking in the hot sun I am sure with a snap freeze my arse off in the UK. Thank you my friend, you have always been there for me and with me in times of hardship and joy over the years.
Stop 7
Woolley Edge services and I now starting to see signs for London but no mileage on the signs of how far away it is! Am taking a break and getting something to eat I think Julian’s is about another 200 miles but am just not prepared to risk it. My feet hurt, my hands hurt, am tired and utterly "messed" off with fighting wind gusts.
So I trudge into the empty service station at 22.30hrs and look for something to eat. There is a very friendly plump smiling girl behind the counter but the hot food counter is very bare! I force a smile and ask what is available to eat hot and I get told she can do me a chicken burger. Fine, I ‘ll have what ever as I realise I’ve only eaten that animal fat Scotch pie so far. She smiled and told me she would ‘bring it over t’ table when ready’. T’ table, what the hell! She was not using the word THE, there was no way I could still be up in the North was there?!? It has long been a pet hate of mine, no doubt because Manchester do the same thing but dropping the ‘he from the word the drove me nuts. It is like it is some great effort to move your mouth when you go into Manchester and Lancashire! People ‘off t’ shop’ and any other way they can find of chopping down a sentence. Your not THAT busy for "fudge" sake and my hometown is no better but this done to names of things and people. Any and everyone’s name is instantly chopped in half and an o or y stuck on the end. So O'Brien, you are now Oby, Jackson no longer, Jacko. What I have found odd is that we Liverpudlians will do this even if it makes the name longer! But regardless we will change everyone's name and the names of any shop, place or indeed any name we can get our hands on.
You can go to my cousins and chop every name in the house as you meet Anthony (Tony), Karen, Ashley, Bobbi, Aiden and Toni. Al’right To’, Ka’, Bob, Aid’ and Little To is perfectly acceptable language. Now add to this that the ch is of course pronounced with a slight tickled cough sound and the start of a sentence can be combined with the facial feature of having just stubbed you toe and you should do fine in Liverpool. Don’t forget to bob your head from side to side in the same pitch and rhythm as you speak!
Where was I? Oh yeah Woolley Edge chicken burger! I plonked down in a large fake leather brown double seater and ate my food slowly, I was not hungry and that is odd in its self for me and so I knew I would have to force food in and then rest until I was warm.
I gave Julian a call and told him that I was in a "poo poo" state and had to rest, he understood fully and being a biker with no less than 3 bikes, one being a Harley it was easy for him to comprehend my difficulty. I had a chomped off more than I could chew? Possibly but I was not about to stop giving it a go, it was just going to be close was all. Julian and Vik seemed very optimistic about how much I had done and how much time I had left to get the trip done.
I left there at about 23.30 taking a good 45 mins to settle and get my focus and feeling back before I set off to Julian’s in Rugby. I hit the road a little slower to get back on the bike this time but still having a sound resolve that I could make it due to a good rest and a nasty chicken burger.
Stop 8
Julian and Vik’s at last!
I made it to Rugby and I think I went the long way and got a little lost in the town centre as I was about 5 miles out from my trip computer to my satnav reading from Julian! Am sure the UKIBA can work it out anyway and they will have all the recipes that I have plus a contact for Julian to check that I was there.
I pulled into the Police station in Rugby home of the famous game!
With a quick call to my friends to come and guide me to the house. I was "messed" beyond reason and in no mood to try and navigate a town (does Rugby have a cathedral?) city? Whatever! I did not want to do this and Julian was kind enough to come and get me.Julian and Vik had been updating the lads and lasses on the UKHippy site about where I was and what condition I was in as I sent a message that I was alive at each service station.
Getting into Julian’s with 614 miles done I was so glad to have got that 50% out of the way and though it is psychosomatic! It does give you a boost that the rest is sort of down hill and you are no longer heading away from home but back to it.
So I set my kit down by the fire and gave my friend a hug, a mug of coffee was waiting for me and an egg and bacon sandwich. I just could not eat and just wanted to sleep but I wanted to see how the ride was going as I did not have a satnav. Julian punched in the receipt codes on the Google map and I was doing the same miles as I had tripped in fact I was a little behind the Google map and that was rather odd as I would have thought it the other way around! But then again I had cut through the bollards on that A80 so perhaps that saved me a few miles. I will have to give that a good check before I submit all the paperwork to the UKIBA!
Vik gets me the biggest, thickest and warmest blanket that I have ever seen and I flop down on the cream leather sofa. Being rather tall my legs dangle over the arm and that’s just fine with me as the guys flick the lights off and leave me to rest. Wake up call is for 04.00hrs Sunday 1st Feb 2009.
I thought that I would be too pumped to sleep and lying on the sofa I recall thinking, ah man am just not going to be able to Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Then it was 4am! Vik was waking me with a coffee and Julian was taking my stuff from by the fire and noticed that I had not put the artic liner in the armour jacket! What a Moron but then I think we have covered that rather extensively by now!
So I kit up with care and check all my stuff as we have a motivational chat and goodbye hug, all in all the gear check and so on takes about 30mins and I set off from Julian’s at 04.36 taking a quick picture of my trip computer.
400 Miles to go, that’s all just 400 miles and I am confident that I can make at least 200 of them! So down south we go!
Stops 9 and 10
Watford Gap and Toddling services are done and I am making more and more stops with less and less miles but I was not that confident down south. Main reason being is that the roadwork is so thick that you could make a lot of cuts that I might not have proof that I did not take. So I stopped at most of them if even just for £3 of fuel to get the ticket.
M25 stops 10 and 11.
South Mimms service station and the start of the ring road and lots of 40 mph road work speed restrictions! Grrr but at least I was still going forward and onward, I would need to go the long way around the M25 and so I headed in the direction of East, easy enough as the names mean nothing to me. I’d always thought Barnet was a hat or hairstyle but seems it’s a place! Every day’s a school day!
I made another pull in at the Clacket Lane service station on the M25 on the far side to prove that I did not just nip across to the M4 and carry on past a free tunnel for motorcycle and some bridge again this shows as free for motorcycles, result!
The bridge, am sure that everyone south of the Watford gap knows is "procreating" huge! I’d never heard of it and it just goes up and up and up and then up some more. It appears to be a suspension bridge as I can see the wires and I can see the buildings getting smaller and smaller!
There is no real rail at the sides and I had a genuine concern or as I like to say ’I shat myself’ as to be so exposed in the elements of these winds! I slowed right down to 35 to 40 mph and was looking around for signs of gusts like an own on amphetamine. I don’t have a fear of heights but I do object to being blown off a great height and into -3 water a few hundred feet below. Granted I could take some small solace in the fact that I would more than likely be dead or knocked out on impact but if it was all the same with everyone else I’d prefer to give the whole experience a miss!
M4 Stop 12 ReadingI was over that nightmare bridge in the pitch dark and howling winds and off down the M4, this must have been around 07.00 hrs now and as I plodded along I could see a small trail of bikers on the other side heading towards London. Yay for bikers and not just bikers but many on big cruisers, HD’s and custom jobs. I was freezing but this really did cheer me up and the normal flash of lights to each other and helmet nodding of fellow bikers was a godsend. I thought these guys must be serious nutters to be out in this weather for a cruise. Then it dawned on me, the London Motorcycle show on!! I was heading away from it plus would never of had the time to pop in anyway but I did think that perhaps some of the riders may have been UKIBA members. So if anyone caught sight of a guy all in black on a silver Honda Varadero heading in the wrong direction to the bike show at about 07.00 to 07.45 hrs that was me!
M5 Stop 13
I made a longer trek on this one as I could not think of a short cut to get to the M5 from the M4 so I would be safe to just plough along it and I was showing about 830 miles on the trip so I would not need to go into Cardiff and headed right up the M5 for Bristol signs.
I did make a stop on the M5 just to make sure there was proof and stopped at the Michael Wood Services with 879 miles showing at about 09.30 hrs.
I was not so much cold but I was getting seriously tired now and I just pulled in and lay on the path for a while just to gather some strength and make sure I was not going to be a risk to myself or other road users. It was vital to me that I was tired but not so tired as to be a risk. There are many a sign as you come up the M5 saying ‘take a break tiredness can kill’ good advice.
I had a walk and a think about the last push and did some simple math in my head just to check that I was ok. I was paranoid about being so tired or cold that I would not be aware that I was tired or cold. Simple maths and eye hand co-ordination is always a good one. After walking around and having a stretch, playing high throw catch with my keys to see if I could catch them one handed and some maths games I was happy to blast for home.
The route I would be taking is the only route that I know of and so I was happy that I could get a receipt in Liverpool to prove that I made the last bolt from Michael Wood to home.
It’s still odd to ride off in daylight, ride through the cold and oh so bitter night to be riding again in the daylight. People are now back on the motorways going to where every they are going and have no idea what you have just put yourself through. Indeed you have no idea what each driver out that morning has just gone through the night before either.
The main focus in my mind was home, home, home, home! But I had to be aware that the flow of traffic was for thicker now as I pulled across onto the M62 to take me to the M57 and that means home, I looked down at the trip computer and I had done over 1000 miles in under 24 hours. If there was anything wrong with the paperwork etc I really did not care at this stage I just wanted to get home and get back into that bathtub.
One last stop.
Service station in Liverpool with 1040 miles on the clock as I filled up and headed to my home, pulling into the garages and taking that last snap of the trip computer. 1043.3 Miles at 12.41 pm Sunday 1st Feb 2009.
Job done and good night
For Aiden and Wally.
What gear did you use to stay warm? I swear by heated gloves and a windproof leather jacket for extreme rides—Daniel Smart MFG has some solid options!