Ok yeah...

[JC Viper]

I decided to disappear to see if I could get my life together on my own damn merit. Nothing is changing no matter how much I change. Now I'm being evaluated by my school to see if I'm worth saving.

I got rid of my Myspace because I only had two damn friends on it while seeing everyone else has double to triple digits and plenty of messages. My facebook is totally dead, not even my "buddies" at school ask me for mine but they ask for everyone else. No one wants my number or email and I don't know why. I used to be so fun and upbeat.

I've become so lame without even knowing it. All I did was go to school and work and my parents didn't let me do a damn thing in high school. And now I'm flunking out of school because I can't take this lack of social life and I've wasted my early 20s just doing the "right" thing and got no where.

My birthday just passed, turned 24 and ya know what? I stayed home during the day alone, called people before hand and made some plans of which none came to. They made other plans. So I ended up going back home. I mean who goes to social scenes alone? For christ's sake... I blame my parents for getting my sister more involved while I just stay home and jerk off. A real girlfriend is hard to get when there are no friends around and she'll probably feel strange with a guy with no friends. And what girl is gonna want a guy with no stories to tell?

I made enough cash to go to racing school but at 24 it's too late to get serious with it, considering everyone starts out in their teens if they want to make it, so I don't even know if I should just waste money like that. Skip Barber and O'Neill can "pee" off. Meanwhile my sis gets horseback competitions and when I wanted a motocross bike I get shot down faster than a Russian MiG. I could've been awesome at something.... I dunno.

I decided to post here since Donna did send me an email and I don't know if Geoffe or the other dude even care my myspace is gone. Money isn't everything... sure a job and education is good but I can't keep them if I'm miserably alone.

But whatever, I'll probably be around again since I'm home on nights and weekends so no need to wonder if I'm all right...

[Brackstone]

I'm sorry you feel that way Viper.

I'm not sure if it's a product of where you live, your culture, or your generation (I'm 28). But I really don't think life works the way you think it does.

Honestly I have like 2 really close friends for my entire life and I never had any problem meeting women.

Also just because you start track school late doesn't mean anything. There are people that have to train their whole lives for something and then there are people that have a natural dexterity for something. You could be the latter

I feel like you need someone to help you change your perspective on life because you are only looking downward. Have you tried to find professional help? Or one of the counselors at your college?

[BuzZz]

Just a thought, and I am very biased about this...... if you want normal human contact, get the hell out of New York City. Move to a smaller, friendlier city.

You may want to consider talking to someone in that new city, as has been mentioned. Life sucks, it ain't fair, and it only gets worse when you realize nobody else really knows WTF they are doing either. But humans are designed to be happy overall despite that. When they're not, it's time to see a Doc about it. It might really help.

[JC Viper]

what the? The docs at my school are pushing meds down my throat, everyone assumes I need pills. It's not anxiety of meeting people or anti social or chemical imbalances. I make friends but they have their own group they'd rather keep in touch with. School counselors are no help, they assume it's me and that I don't really make an effort. I'll strain my self without even being constipated if I give any more effort.

I'm really outgoing, I don't show my bad side, I do everything by the book and moving out is not an option money and I should do something to finish my education.

I don't need to be popular or full of friends but I don't even have 1 close one. And of course no networking can be done if I have no friends on that god awful Facebook or MySpace.

As for the Racing, all the Bios i read all racers start in their teens and make it big in their early 20s. None of them went to racing school. Douchebags like Mirra or Pastrana get to live it up. I wanted to do Rally before my teens.

All work and no play... unless you count playing with yourself... and screw culture, my parents made sure to push my older bro and younger sis into doing activities to get involved with school. I was forced to go to school. I really want to kill them all.


http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?sid ... ref=search

0... a nice 0. You know when I was at lunch with "friends" after class they started giving eachother facebook to keep in touch but no one wanted or asked for mine. So I had to sit there quietly.

[High_Side]

As for the Racing, all the Bios i read all racers start in their teens and make it big in their early 20s. None of them went to racing school. Douchebags like Mirra or Pastrana get to live it up. I wanted to do Rally before my teens.

Not quite sure what makes them a douche-bag if they have worked hard to achieve something and now they have developed in to a massive talent.

I have two friends who started racing in their mid-late thirties. They will not be signing with Repsol Honda anytime soon but they had the time of their lives. I say HAD because they have both since moved on to racing minis. There is an active club here and anyone can race for a fraction of the cost of racing a 600 or Superbike. There are even a few former Canadian Superbike champions who show up from time to time to make it interesting. Things like this can be found in your area - you just have to have a look around.

Happyness is a decision that only you can make. There is a guy at my work with MS who is slowly losing mobility after being a jock for most of his life. He is the most upbeat person that I know. When I am feeling in the dumps I look at the hand that he was dealt and his attitude and it puts it all in to perspective for me. He made the decision to be happy.

[jstark47]

JC- I'm glad you showed up here again, man. Wasn't sure if something bad happened to you.

I don't have any "magic words" or suggestions. There's a lot of pain and disappointment in your posts, I feel bad that your feeling that way. All I can say is just keep posting here, there's people here who will talk to you.

JS

[mgdavis]

Go take the race school just for the sheer enjoyment of it, I would if I had the money.

There has to be a motorcycle group or two in the area that you could become a part of.

Quit blaming your parents for everything. I'm socially awkward as well, it's just the way I'm programed. I came to terms with the fact a long time ago, sounds like you should think about doing the same.

[JC Viper]

Go take the race school just for the sheer enjoyment of it, I would if I had the money.

There has to be a motorcycle group or two in the area that you could become a part of.

Quit blaming your parents for everything. I'm socially awkward as well, it's just the way I'm programed. I came to terms with the fact a long time ago, sounds like you should think about doing the same.

Kinda sucks how I got to stay by myself when I turned 18, 21, 22, 23, 24... you know the supposed wild years.

I blame my parents because they made sure my sister and bro did something during school while they would refuse to sign any permission slips. with all those horseback lessions and stuff for my sis they could have also gotten me a Motocrosser and I could have competed in something instead of feeling like a gimp during my early 20s.

I tried being happy but you know what? I looked around in school, home and work and free time outside and found no one with me. They'd rather be hanging out with other people. No friends leads to hard times for dating, forgetting troubles, gaining confidence, networking etc.

and spending this money for racing school won't be easy, it's a lot of cash. and they are douchebags because I would work just as hard or harder if my parents just allowed me to just get involved in things. They all had supportive parents to get them into the sports they're in. yes, I have no life that I start reading wikipedia, myspace and facebook.

[Brackstone]

JC I'm 28 you telling me I don't have anymore wild years?

My parents didn't push me to do anything either when I was younger. I wish they had forced me to play the piano because I would love that now. Now I don't have the energy to learn it myself but that doesn't mean I won't still try.

You are looking at it as though since you didn't start racing (playing the Piano) when you were young you'll never be able to get anywhere with it. I really don't buy into that because if that is true then if you haven't achieved anything by the time your 30 people should just kill themselves.

Look at J.K. Rowling, she was practically homeless her entire life and then someone noticed her book and made Harry Potter into a sensation.

Life sometimes is more about chance than time invested.

What I'm saying is you could have gone to track school since you were 5 and you could have very well still sucked at it. All you can do is try and hope to succeed.

You can either let life keep you down or grab it by the horns and start riding it. You really need to start having a more "can-do" attitude.

I realize that your parents were fair to you, and your friends suck. But that is no reason to give up, you need to keep going and everything will fall into place!

[JC Viper]

There's actually an age cut off for pro rallying. 28 I believe. All racers start at 17 - 19, make it big at 20-21. I can be a great racer but the publicity and sponsors will go for young talent. It's like being an athlete, soldier, Police, Firefighter, rocker, etc; start young and you'll be set.

I've never really cared about measuring up to standards until I found myself alone most of the time and just not living life (go clubbing alone, I dare you). I keep bringing up my sis and bro is because they have healthy social lives, they're happy they all did something fun on their b-days... well I've been trying to do the right thing but I'm giving my parents hell relentlessly esp. since they've withheld a bit of my finances from me that could've helped out years ago. I just want to kill them all and get myself some lethal injection.

It's that I also would like to be able to impress this girl as well. The thing is I've been a boring all work and no play, no talent guy. The sad thing is she's becoming more out of reach (claims to be down to earth) and she's gonna want someone exciting. Sorry, not ready to give full details on that yet I'm still a bit embarrassed to admit to something like that. I'll tell ya that she's everything I've been searching for too bad it's not the other way around...

The only positive is that I've been supporting myself so I can take care of myself in the future, being bleek as it is, without too much of a change. Damn weekend is coming up again... I've spent too much time riding that damn bike I just want to crash it into a car full of people.