The owner of a golf course in North Carolina (a redneck, fer shure) was confused about paying an invoice, so, he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of North Carolina and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought for a moment, then replied, " Everything but my earrings." (Thank God for the University!)
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A group of rednecks went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of a 16-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Well, Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You mean you left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"It was a tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
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A senior at UNC was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in the state of North Carolina."
When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in North Carolina because
everything happens in North Carolina 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized .world.
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A redneck neighbor in North Carolina came running into the store and shouted to his buddy, "Bernie Ralph, somebody just stole yore pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bernie Ralph jumped out of his seat and shouted, "Did you see who it was?"
The redneck smiles and said, "No, I couldn't tell, but I got the license
number!"
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A state trooper from North Carolina pulled over a pickup (No, it wasn't
me!) on I-85. He asked the driver of the pickup, "Do you have any I.D.?"
The driver of the pickup asked, "'Bout whut?"
