Emotions
Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:57 am
Recent posts concerning a road rage incident in a prominent forum member's blog, a long drive home on our family vacation, and yet another reading of Proficient Motorcycling by David Hough, have me considering the subject of the impact of emotions on our safety margin while riding. Obviously, this post will be a bit introspective.
I am going to start with three statements that I consider to be true.
1) Emotions, such as frustration, anger, envy and fear, or even a competitive spirit, make it harder to make good decisions on the road.
2) The only person's emotions we can directly control is looking at us in the mirror each morning.
3) Our road behaviors also have an impact on the emotions of other road users who do not have good control of their own emotions.
First, I am going to confess that at one time or another I have experienced the full range of negative emotions that any driver or rider has ever experiences including road rage (in my greener years long long ago), and that it has never been helpful to be angry, or frustrated or scared. To a great extent, I no longer have this problem other than at a most modest level of intensity.
Until just recently, it was simply a matter of refusing to allow other drivers to control my emotions in a manner consistent with my second statement. I am responsible for my own behavior and feeling. This has changed a bit because I have been doing a lot of thinking about motorcycle safety, both from reading books and from reading on various motorcycle forums.
Consider, how does a rider mitigate the danger from wildlife, like a deer crossing the road? David Hough would say to cover the break, slow down, and be prepared to perform a maximum effort stop. A deer evades by moving randomly, it is built into it's genetics, so swerving is not a great option as it is not possible to predict which way the deer will jump. The best strategy is to get on the breaks hard. How does this relate to emotions? I have killed quite a few deer in my lifetime but I have never hit a deer on the road. If I did, I might experience some measure of fear, or frustration, and I might be a bit angry at myself, but I would hardly blame the deer. I simply except that they are a beautiful stupid creature in God's creation and that they intend me no harm. It is nothing personal.
What I have come to understand is that a lot of people using the road are just like that deer; stupid, unpredictable, foolish, and even dangerous, but without malice. I think it is important to remember that it is only a very few psychopathic individuals who actually want to do harm to others and that most other road users have no malicious intent even if they get frustrated or go into a road rage. I know that every time I experienced road rage, in my youth, I was eventually embarrassed by my lack of self control and I think this is likely true of the vast majority of other operators on the road.
The first step is to control our own emotions, even if that means getting off the bike for a while. Frustrations lead to anger so frustration is a good indicator that it is a time for a break. Fear also can lead to anger, like when some jerk nearly kills you as they dash for an exit ramp without bother to look and see the motorcycle two lanes over.
So, now that all of us have perfect control of our own emotions, what about those other road users who do not? To some extent, when another person does not take responsibility for their own emotions they are giving that power to other people and we can often use that power to our own benefit. It is easy to make such people mad or frustrated or even push them into a rage, at times we don't even need to try to do this, but in many cases it is also not that difficult to do exactly the opposite. A simple wave and mouthing the word "sorry", even when not in the wrong, will often modify the behavior of an angry and aggressive driver who is trying to teach you a lesson. What we choose to communicate to other road users can help to diffuse a dangerous situation. I think I am going to invest some time learning more about conflict resolution techniques.
As for that very rare psychopath with malice in their heart, the best options include retreat and evasion. If this is not possible, then we are in a self defense situation and outside the scope of a discussion on motorcycle riding safety.
Safe Travels,
Richard
I hope other will share their mechanism for helping control their emotions on the road, or at least their experiences.
I am going to start with three statements that I consider to be true.
1) Emotions, such as frustration, anger, envy and fear, or even a competitive spirit, make it harder to make good decisions on the road.
2) The only person's emotions we can directly control is looking at us in the mirror each morning.
3) Our road behaviors also have an impact on the emotions of other road users who do not have good control of their own emotions.
First, I am going to confess that at one time or another I have experienced the full range of negative emotions that any driver or rider has ever experiences including road rage (in my greener years long long ago), and that it has never been helpful to be angry, or frustrated or scared. To a great extent, I no longer have this problem other than at a most modest level of intensity.
Until just recently, it was simply a matter of refusing to allow other drivers to control my emotions in a manner consistent with my second statement. I am responsible for my own behavior and feeling. This has changed a bit because I have been doing a lot of thinking about motorcycle safety, both from reading books and from reading on various motorcycle forums.
Consider, how does a rider mitigate the danger from wildlife, like a deer crossing the road? David Hough would say to cover the break, slow down, and be prepared to perform a maximum effort stop. A deer evades by moving randomly, it is built into it's genetics, so swerving is not a great option as it is not possible to predict which way the deer will jump. The best strategy is to get on the breaks hard. How does this relate to emotions? I have killed quite a few deer in my lifetime but I have never hit a deer on the road. If I did, I might experience some measure of fear, or frustration, and I might be a bit angry at myself, but I would hardly blame the deer. I simply except that they are a beautiful stupid creature in God's creation and that they intend me no harm. It is nothing personal.
What I have come to understand is that a lot of people using the road are just like that deer; stupid, unpredictable, foolish, and even dangerous, but without malice. I think it is important to remember that it is only a very few psychopathic individuals who actually want to do harm to others and that most other road users have no malicious intent even if they get frustrated or go into a road rage. I know that every time I experienced road rage, in my youth, I was eventually embarrassed by my lack of self control and I think this is likely true of the vast majority of other operators on the road.
The first step is to control our own emotions, even if that means getting off the bike for a while. Frustrations lead to anger so frustration is a good indicator that it is a time for a break. Fear also can lead to anger, like when some jerk nearly kills you as they dash for an exit ramp without bother to look and see the motorcycle two lanes over.
So, now that all of us have perfect control of our own emotions, what about those other road users who do not? To some extent, when another person does not take responsibility for their own emotions they are giving that power to other people and we can often use that power to our own benefit. It is easy to make such people mad or frustrated or even push them into a rage, at times we don't even need to try to do this, but in many cases it is also not that difficult to do exactly the opposite. A simple wave and mouthing the word "sorry", even when not in the wrong, will often modify the behavior of an angry and aggressive driver who is trying to teach you a lesson. What we choose to communicate to other road users can help to diffuse a dangerous situation. I think I am going to invest some time learning more about conflict resolution techniques.
As for that very rare psychopath with malice in their heart, the best options include retreat and evasion. If this is not possible, then we are in a self defense situation and outside the scope of a discussion on motorcycle riding safety.
Safe Travels,
Richard
I hope other will share their mechanism for helping control their emotions on the road, or at least their experiences.