London fights back.....

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Wizzard · #1 Unread post by **Wizzard** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 7:22 am

#2 Unread post by **Kal** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 7:18 am

Shnigger... thats ace.

And going round on email we have this:
(Written by an Englishman we suspect and will probably offend everyone*)

*(except Canadians, we havent figured out how to offend Canadians yet.)

Subject: New Security Alerts
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the
level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'! Soon though, the
levels may be raised yet again to "irritated' or even " a bit cross"!!
Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance", the last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, The Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help".

Finally back in Great Britain the public have gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".

Mon Aug 15, 2005 6:38 am

Funny!

I guess the British should have escalated higher than the Tea level a couple of times, here in the colonies, eh?

#4 Unread post by **Kal** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 6:59 am

We couldnt, somebody had chucked it all into the harbour!

bennettoid · Mon Aug 15, 2005 9:21 am

Kal wrote:We couldnt, somebody had chucked it all into the harbour!

ROFLMAO

classic. That was funnier than the Joke.

Mintbread · #6 Unread post by **Mintbread** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 4:26 pm

Kal wrote: Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

Haha, that is great.
It also reminded me of something else amusing. Go to google.com and type in "French military victories" and press "I feel lucky"
The results are hilarious.

#7 Unread post by **cb360** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 5:57 pm

Kal - that is the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

#8 Unread post by **Kal** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:41 pm

In a similar vein to french military victories, you used to get this when typing Weapons of Mass Destruction into google.

http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

Sadly it now brings up boring governement sites.