New Element Found
Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:46 am
The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped to
prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a major
research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet
known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy
neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called 'morons'
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
'peons.' Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four
days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will
actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming 'isodopes.' This characteristic of
moron promotion leads most scientists to believe that Gv is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as 'Critical Morass.'
When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes "Administratium' (Am) - an element
which radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons.
prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a major
research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet
known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy
neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called 'morons'
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
'peons.' Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four
days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will
actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming 'isodopes.' This characteristic of
moron promotion leads most scientists to believe that Gv is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as 'Critical Morass.'
When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes "Administratium' (Am) - an element
which radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons.
Oh I like that one! 
