Wife says no to bike.

[CNF2002]

Zoo let's balance this particular situation.

LEFT) Husband wants to start riding bikes, thinks it might be fun! Wants to try something new!

RIGHT) Wife's brother died riding a bike and thought of husband on one scares her to death, possibly bringing up the memory every time he goes out to ride.

It's a no brainer in my book.

[zarakand]

This has been one of the most interesting reads in a while on the forum. Quite a change from the regular New Biker's questions. I love the variance in stories between John and his wife.

Good luck getting a bike, and hopefully it'll be something that makes everyone happy in the process. Have you looked at any particular models or gone into dealerships yet?

[ShawnKing]

However, why would the wife's desire for you to not buy a motorcycle be weighed more heavily than your desire to buy one?

Harmony and peace in the home. And keep in mind, that's *not* the situation here.

Marriage is also about being supportive of your spouse, even when they're pursuing personal interests that may not be your own.

Correct. But you're looking at the situation *only* from the POV of the husband. Keep the wife's POV in mind, too.

[ZooTech]

Well, fellas, all I can say is I see an awful lot of bikes for sale in the paper and elsewhere with the reason for selling being "wife said it has to go". Sounds pretty one-sided and unsupportive to me. My [now] ex-wife was dead-set against me getting a bike while we were married, supposedly because of the fear factor (though if you knew her you'd know she simply had "better" plans for the money), but now that I'm single you can be damn sure I'll never let a woman tell me to get rid of my bike. Any woman that would make me choose is not a woman I want to spend any amount of time with, much less the rest of my years here. And for anyone already married, I think it speaks volumes for the health of the marriage if your spouse is supportive of your interests. It tells me they're vested in your happiness and know the favor will be reciprocated.

[BigChickenStrips]

Zoo is king in his castle.

good luck convincing your wife.

[rnr262]

Zoo, I think your situation now is a bit different. You're already a biker, you already have one and love it. Any woman who gets involved with you will know that up front. That wasn't the case here. It sounds like you are much better off without your ex, and you have a beautiful bike and 3 great kids to show for it

Even so, John's wife is simply asking for a few assurances such as will this bike be good enough 6 weeks from now. They just spent money on mopeds and he wants to upgrade. Nothing wrong with that, but they may be taking a financial hit. It sounds like she wants him to not be so impulsive and think a few things through. She's willing to get past the other issues, and has even joined him with a moped.

It sounds like she's doing her part! And to be fair to John, maybe he's just so caught up in bike fever like the rest of us have been one time or another, he wants things to happen right now.

I think these two will work this out just fine. They both sound like they have genuine concern for each others needs. (unless she's beat him for posting their buisness on the internet, we haven't seen him post here lately)

[-Holiday]

so, you guys live in pike creek delware eh?
Good thing im not stalking you, or gathering info on you to steal your identity

Anyway, it sounds to me like you have a pretty strong relationship, and no matter what happens, it will all work out in the end.

Oh and , if you ever want to go for a ride, scooter or motorcycle, drop me a note , I'm not that far from you. There are some great roads to the north of you near the brandywine for riding..

Good luck

[ofblong]

Scooters are sweet. I'd like one, but it's not practical where I live. My city is way too large with lots of hills and interstate. I'd own one for sure if I lived in an urban setting.

And thanks for posting, Jon's wife. It's great to hear both of your inputs.

hmm how is it not practical??? you can get a moped that is 250CC that will do just as well as a Honda rebel on those hills.

[ofblong]

2. WE BOTH bought BRAND NEW Yamaha 50cc mopeds 6 weeks ago! Already, he wants to trade up to a motorcycle!

3. I'm not even against JON having a motorcycle, but since we've decided to open up our marriage on this forum, he will admit to being obsessive about something, getting it, then wanting something better almost immediately. I JUST want to make sure that this HUGE purchase will be "enough" for him for a while.

5. HE HAS TO BE THE ONE TO EXPLAIN THE MOTORCYCLE TO MY MOTHER!!!!! I take ALL the flack from her when we make a decision she doesn't approve of and he doesn't get involved.

2. If you both just bought brand new yamaha 50CC mopeds I think its time to wait until next year to upgrade at least.

3. How did he open up your marriage in here? Yes he did bring up a few things but he didnt open up his marriage. This makes me think you are controlling and not willing to negotiate (although the rest of your post does). By controlling I mean you want to know every website he goes to every post he makes everything he says to people online. Its kind of like you dont trust him for some reason and I dont want to know why you dont trust him.

5. My wife gets the same "yelled at" from her mother and her sister even though we can afford what we do. I dont understand why they do this as we all learn from our mistakes. Its almost as if her mother doesnt want to "let go" of their baby girl and want her to do what they want her or think she should do not what I and/or my wife think we should do. I dont know though just guessing .

[vulcanguy]

Madam, Jon did not marry your mother. If you can't deal with her that's your problem. I am sorry about your brother, it is surely a tragedy. However you must realize we are all going to die sometime, your mom
your husband and yourself. But if you're going to live your life in fear of it
you have no life at all. All Jon can do is to be as safe as possible, the rest
is up to a higher authority.